


Feyrhycien Mob Au

by Hellas_himself



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Feyrhycien - Freeform, Mob AU, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-01-23 05:27:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 63,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21314914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellas_himself/pseuds/Hellas_himself
Summary: This was a prompt by sorry-im-an-aries on tumblr. I've been saying I was gonna bring this fic over from tumblr for months and I forgot. So, I'll be updating this frequently so it's caught up with Tumblr. There are like... 2 or 3 other completed fics I have to transfer over but yeah. Eventually. This fic goes back and forth between the past and present. I try to make it canon-ish but obviously some things aren't plausible in a modern setting. I took the liberty of giving our high lords (bosses or godfathers in this fic) surnames so you'll see that eventually.
Relationships: Feyre Archeron/Rhysand/Lucien Vanserra
Comments: 88
Kudos: 70





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt by sorry-im-an-aries on tumblr. I've been saying I was gonna bring this fic over from tumblr for months and I forgot. So, I'll be updating this frequently so it's caught up with Tumblr. There are like... 2 or 3 other completed fics I have to transfer over but yeah. Eventually. This fic goes back and forth between the past and present. I try to make it canon-ish but obviously some things aren't plausible in a modern setting. I took the liberty of giving our high lords (bosses or godfathers in this fic) surnames so you'll see that eventually.

**The Present**

_I did this for you…_

The first gun shot made me jump, and I hoped to god no one noticed. To my luck, everyone- even Luce- was focused on Tamlin and the lifeless body on the floor. 

_I did this…_

The second gunshot forced me to stand up a little straighter, schooling my features into that of cool indifference. They looked up to Tam for his strength, his fearlessness. If I wanted to keep my place at his side, I had to be just as strong. Just as fearless. 

_I…_

The third gunshot sounded and I was no longer in the abandoned warehouse, but in a mansion in the suburbs. Overturned tables and broken glass. Two dead at my feet, my gun pointed at _her_ even as she laughed and called me nobody_. Worthless. _And maybe she was right. But it was her or Tamlin. 

Bronn and Hart were ordered to get rid of the bodies, the sound bringing me back to the present. Before I could speak Tamlin was already telling Lucien to take me home. As Luce placed a hand to the small of my back, I turned to find Tamlin leading Ianthe out another way. Once, this would have broken me. I would have made a scene. But I knew better now. 

Lucien was quiet on the drive home, but I noticed him looking back at me through the mirror. It was silly to look for decency in a world of mobsters and crooked men. But Lucien _was_ decent. 

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked quietly. 

“I just want to go to sleep,” I replied. A blatant lie, one I used far too often. But Lucien had been there, he knew what I had done just to keep Tamlin safe. Lucien said nothing else until he parked the car outside of the house. Two guards stood out front and greeted us before Lucien unlocked the door. We walked inside. I started to go up the stairs and stopped when Lucien called my name.

“He just wants to keep you safe,” he said and I scoffed.

“Yeah, the way he’s keeping Ianthe _safe_ every night.”

“It’s not like that.”

“He wouldn’t have you defending him if it wasn’t.”

I continued on and I made my way upstairs to my room. Because Tamlin still refused to share his with me. But that didn’t matter anymore. 

I pulled my jacket off and tossed it on the dresser. I took my time untying the laces of my boots, the buttons of my shirt. Tamlin didn’t come to my room anymore, and that was alright. It didn’t matter anymore, either. 

“You’re slacking,” I said in a teasing voice as I heard my bedroom door open and close. The lock click. I looked at Lucien through the mirror, my heart near aching at the way he smiled at me. 

“That was quite the performance,” Lucien said and I rolled my eyes.

“You forgot to promise to talk to him on my behalf,” I said in jest.

“Well, Tamlin isn’t coming home tonight and he asked me to make sure you didn’t notice.”

I laughed, a sound reserved solely for him. For him and-

“Rhys called,” Lucien said as he approached me, placing his hands on my shoulders. “It’s as if he knew, somehow, that tonight had been… trying.” 

“How? When?” 

“Just right after Tamlin hung up on me. Don’t worry, we were both careful.”

I nodded, unable to fight the tears that stung my eyes. Lucien’s hands trailed down the sides of my arms until he held my hands. 

“Soon,” he whispered. “I promise.”

He kissed away the tears, a gesture that reminded me so much of Rhys I wasted no time in guiding Lucien towards the bed. 

“Come on. You have to make sure I don’t notice Tamlin isn’t home,” I teased.

“I can think of a few things,” Lucien said, pulling me into his arms. 

***

**One Year Ago **

I hated closing the bar and having to walk home alone at night. Truth be told, it didn’t matter what time of day it was. This godforsaken town was a nightmare. It was full of naïve man children who liked to play at mafia, as if the great families of Prythian would resort to robbing old ladies in pure daylight, breaking into peoples’ cars and coming to the bar every night to get shit faced and talk about all the stupid things they did. But it was enough for me to keep a knife on me everywhere I went.

I fumbled with the keys to the house, cursing the outside light that had blown out once again. I lived here long enough to know all that could go wrong in the dark. I reminded myself that I would get paid on Thursday and if I didn’t buy any coffee this week, I could get a new lightbulb _and_ that set of paints I saw at the store. 

All the lights were off save for the television my father was asleep in front of, his TV dinner mostly untouched. His medicine still where I’d left it before I went to work. A noise from upstairs made me roll my eyes- Elain probably had Grayson over which meant Nesta wasn’t home. With our shared bedroom occupied, I put my wallet and keys in the pantry closet, a habit I picked up after one of our dad’s friends went through my purse and helped himself to all he found. 

I shut off the tv and dropped myself unceremoniously on the sofa and closed my eyes… and was startled awake by someone banging on our front door. My dad was yelling for me to answer it and with a mumbled curse I got up. 

“I swear to god, Nesta-” I began but froze when I was met with green eyes, not icy blue. The man outside my door seemed surprised to see me as well but quickly scowled. Great. He practically shoved me aside as he stormed into my house, shouting my father’s name. 

“Hey, what the hell are you doing?” I snapped, following after him. I had to fight the urge to cry when my dad told me to shut up. 

“I had another month,” my dad said to the man who had reached behind his back.

“A month for what?” I asked and my dad made to speak but the man stopped him.

“Your dad owes me money. Lots of it.”

“How?” I asked. “I’m responsible for everything here. And I don’t remember asking you for shit.”

The man chuckled and I wanted to smack that smirk off his face. He was far too sure of himself to be another boy playing make believe. He dressed too fine to even be from this part of town.

“When your father gambled everything away, how do you think he moved you all to this lovely little apartment?”

The tone in his voice made me look at my dad who was in tears. How long had he been doing this? I wanted to strangle him, I wanted to scream but then there was a gun pointed at his face and without thinking I was standing in front of it, arms outstretched. 

“If you kill him, how are you getting your money back?”

“There are three of you. I’ll make it happen.”

“Nesta would slit your throat first,” I said and he laughed. 

“Feyre, you don’t know who you’re talking to,” my dad said but I paid him no mind.

“Feisty, are we?” the man asked, as if my father weren’t even there.

“How much?” I asked and he raised a brow. “How much does he owe you?” 

He stepped forward, pressing the gun to my chest. 

“Far too much for a barmaid to pay back.”

“So let me work for you,” I blurted out. 

“What?” 

“I can’t pay you with the job I currently have. Let me work for you. Pay off his debts and I’ll make sure he never asks you for another goddamn thing.”

“Feyre-” my father began but I turned to look at him.

“You’ve done enough,” I said. “This is the last mess I clean up for you.”

When I turned back around, Elain and Grayson were standing at the foot of the stairs. She was crying and he had an arm around her. 

“How can I trust you? You could all disappear in the night?” the man said, and I dared to put my hand over his.

“My sisters are more important than saving my own skin,” I replied, even though I knew if roles were reversed, our father would be dead. My sisters would have run.

No one would fight for me.

“Then you’re coming with me,” he said.

“Where?”

“Where I can make sure you stay true to your word.”

“You’ll leave my family alone?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.”

When my sister began to protest, the man stepped back and I let out a sigh of relief. 

“Get your shit.” 

Up in our room, Elain was begging me to reconsider, to let her go instead. I grabbed my bag and put my wallet and phone in and what little clothes I had. 

“Nesta needs this,” I said as I walked to the dresser and pushed it back. I knelt down and lifted the wooden panel, retrieving the envelope full of money. “Give this to her. Don’t tell dad you have it.”

“Fey…”

“I’m doing exactly what I’ve been doing since mom died. Where I lay my head at night doesn’t change that.”

I gave her a hug and hurried back downstairs to where the man waited. The gun was no longer in sight despite my father on the floor kneeling, begging. Grayson seemed to have left. 

“That’s it?” the man asked. 

“That’s it.”

I looked down at my dad and sighed.

“Clean up before Nesta gets here. She’s got exams this week and doesn’t need any more stress.”

The green eyed man opened the door and I followed him out. I said nothing as he led me away and towards a black car. When he opened the door for me, I didn’t move.

“Having second thoughts?” he asked with a knowing smile.

“You seem to know every goddamn thing about us. I think I should know who you are before I get in the car… even if I’m going to end up in a ditch by the end of the night.”

He laughed, running a hand through his long, blonde hair.

“Tamlin,” he said as he held out a hand. “Tamlin Moran.”

Moran… 

“You’re Wes Moran’s son.”

“So you _do_ know me.”

I shook his hand, ignoring him. Tamlin helped me into his car and I wondered just how much shit I’d just put myself in. The Moran’s were one of the oldest, most powerful families in Prythian. And now I was working for them. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of Tamlin's behavior is akin to that of how he treated her in ACOWAR and ACOTAR. My favorite bits were the ones with her and Lucien.

**Ten Months Ago**

I tossed my shirt aside, surprised it didn’t fit me. With a scowl, I rummaged through the closet to grab a dress Tamlin had bought the first week I’d moved into his pretty house on a hill, overlooking all the other pretty houses owned by gangsters and crooked politicians. I had to bite my tongue- they were practically the same thing.

Now that I was eating every day, I’d put on some weight. The dress was a bit more snug than I would have liked, but I knew Tamlin would appreciate it. I felt silly for even thinking it. He would have killed my father had I not intervened. But Tamlin wasn’t so bad once he wasn’t storming into people’s houses and pointing guns in their faces. I laughed at myself at the thought. 

He gave me a job I actually liked, and paid me more money than I’d ever had in my life. And I would be lying to myself if I said I hadn’t caught Tamlin and sometimes even Lucien looking at me a little too long. Especially now that I had actual curves to show. And it _had_ been a long, long time since Isaac. I supposed that attention wasn’t too bad. They weren’t bad to look at, either.

Alis knocked on my door and I didn’t answer. I knew she’d let herself in. I didn’t mind, though. She was nice, way too nice to work here. But I understood why she did. She had a family to feed, too.

“Breakfast is ready,” Alis said as she bade me sit in front of the vanity. “You look lovely.”

I hated that I was blushing. But Alis said nothing more as she brushed my hair. It finally had some shine to it, didn’t fall as much as it used to. She convinced me to keep it down and I forgo the heels she’d placed in front of my bed. With a quick thank you, I made my way downstairs to the dining hall where Tamlin and Lucien sat together, talking about the girl they’d almost brought home last night. I rolled my eyes before going to sit at Tamlin’s left. I had gotten tired of him telling me to get up out of my seat and sit closer and closer until one day I just took up that seat and he stopped complaining.

“Good morning,” Tamlin said, something like surprise in his green eyes. Even Lucien looked a bit taken aback.

“Same,” I replied and looked at Lucien. “What?”

“Got all pretty for us?” he asked playfully.

“Of course,” I replied, leaning forward enough that his gaze fell immediately to the deep plunge of the dress. “Can’t have you two bringing home random women when you have me here.”

Tamlin nearly choked on his coffee. I sat up straight and served myself breakfast, Lucien wisely saying nothing else. Breakfast went without a hitch, and I hated how… normal it felt to be here. Without my sisters, without my father. Two months and no one had called. Tamlin didn’t hide where he lived, none of the mob bosses did. My sisters could come at any time, but… they didn’t. They wouldn’t.

“Feyre,” Tamlin said, “I have to go see to some business in the city. Would you join me?”

I set my knife and fork down.

“I have to open the studio.”

Rich people loved art galleries and empty buildings with shitty lighting and unfinished walls. It was a perfect front, at least for Tamlin. And I had to admit… Painting every day of the week and getting paid unholy amounts of money for it was nice. Very nice.

Tamlin shrugged. “We have people who can do that. Come with me. I think you’ll enjoy yourself.”

I looked at Lucien and he cleared his throat.

“Go with him. It will be nice just to sit on my ass for a few hours without worrying about getting shot.”

Tamlin kicked him under the table and I realized I was smiling.

*

He drove us into town, pointing at a house he’d lived in when he was younger. The park he and his friends played football in. The school he’d gone to. A flower shop his mother had loved before her passing, and I found myself telling him about Elain.

“She loves flowers. More than people, I think.”

“The way you love painting more than people?”

“Hm… I haven’t met anyone worth the trouble.”

“No?”

The way he looked at me made me blush. I wiped my hands on the skirt of my dress.

“That remains to be seen.”

When he chuckled, I looked his way.

“You should laugh more often,” I said.

“Why?”

“I think it makes you look handsome. Nice.”

“And when I’m not laughing?”

“Has anyone ever told you how scary you look when you’re not smiling?”

“I have a reputation to uphold, Ms. Archeron.”

“Even now, in the car with me?”

“Are you going to use it against me?”

“What, that you’re capable of being human? No. I don’t know anyone richer than you who could afford that information.”

Tamlin laughed, truly laughed and I felt a strange satisfaction in knowing that I’d caused that.

***

**The Present**

“Feyre, I’m busy,” Tamlin said in a frustrated tone. Bronn and Hart were standing on either side of his chair in the office. Lucien was trying to focus on his phone, not on me and the slip dress and robe I wore.

“Our anniversary is in a few days,” I said, crossing my arms. “You promised.”

“And promises can’t always be kept,” he growled out.

“I just watched you kill someone. How is this worse? Why can’t I go with you?”

Tamlin closed his eyes, breathing through his nose. When he opened them, taking a step back wasn’t an act. He rose to his feet, Bronn and Hart looking alarmed. Lucien finally looked up.

“You have to stay here,” Tamlin said quietly as he walked towards me. I froze. “You have to stay. Because I can’t do my job worrying about someone hurting you. Do you understand me?”

“But-” The tears weren’t fake. The fear in my heart wasn’t fake.

“Do you understand me!” he shouted and I quickly covered my face and crouched down. I heard Lucien’s chair scrape the floor as he stood up. Bronn and Hart were rushing towards us.

“You’re scaring her,” Bronn said.

“Shut up,” Tamlin spat.

“Come on, Tam-” Hart began but Tamlin yelled at him too.

I felt Lucien’s hand on my shoulder.

“He’s just trying to keep you safe,” Lucien said softly. And I knew why he could say it with such sincerity. “Why don’t I bring you to the gallery?”

Tamlin let out an exasperated huff and went back to his desk. Lucien helped me to my feet and I saw the way Bronn and Hart looked at one another.

“What the hell are you standing around for?” Tamlin barked at them as Lucien guided me out.

The gallery was full of priceless paintings Tamlin’s family had acquired over the years. Stolen pieces from territories they’d won over. No one ever came here though, just me. And the room just beyond it, was where I painted. No one bothered me here, not even Tamlin.

The second Lucien locked the door, I slid out of the robe and went to sit on the stool. I grabbed a brush and picked up where I’d left off yesterday. Lucien came to stand behind me, rubbing soothing circles up and down my back. He massaged my shoulders as I painted my view of the rose garden covered in thorns, the walls of the house cracked and destroyed. I was sure that even if I presented it to Tamlin, he wouldn’t even realize what it truly was. He’d just call it nice and have it put away with all the others.

I lost control of my brush as Lucien looped his fingers around the thin straps of my slip dress and tugged downwards. I didn’t let go of my brush, just switched hands to allow him to pull it down completely.

“He’s a fucking idiot,” Lucien said into my neck, his hands now on my sides. The silk pooled around my lap, the cold air already making my skin prickle. “To see you like this and not forget about anything else.”

I leaned back into him as I worked on fixing the mistake he’d caused.

“Do you like it?” I asked.

“Yes.” He kissed my neck, his hands now cupping my breasts. “But sometimes I feel so… guilty.”

“But think of how sad he would feel if he knew we weren’t together,” I said in terrible imitation of Rhysand’s voice. Lucien chuckled.

“You’re right, darling.”

“Lucien?”

“Hm?”

“Why’d you stop?”

He chuckled, gently nipping my ear.

“I didn’t want to ruin your painting.”

I dipped my brush into the paint and held it over the canvas.

“Do your worst, Vanserra.”

*

On the morning of what Tamlin still believed to be our anniversary, I presented him with a painting. The roses in the garden still peaked through, but only Lucien and I knew what they had been. They were now splashes of red amidst erratic brush strokes, and places where the paint had simply dripped down whenever I’d been unable to think straight when Lucien decided to kneel in front of the stool and put that wicked mouth of his to work. Rhysand would be proud.

Lucien was beaming as Tamlin complimented the painting, telling me to display at the studio. I was blushing, thinking of how much paint I’d gotten on Lucien and the mess we’d made on the floor.

“I love you,” Tamlin said as he embraced me. I looked at Lucien as I replied, “I love you, too.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this is a Mob AU, I gave everyone surnames if Sarah didn't do so in canon. I also went the spanish telenovela route and gave Rhys the most extra spanish last name i could think of because if this was a soap, Rhys would be the galan (pronounced gah-lahng not like aelin's cousin galan). Lucien's mother is always going to be called Aurelie just like in WTAS until Sarah gives something. If you get confused, don't be afraid to ask! And if you're on tumblr, come talk to me!! Also giving Hybern a name was necessary I couldn't deal with just calling him just Hybern.

**Nine Months Ago**

“So what do I have to do to get a kiss? Give you the moon on a string?”

I continued painting, knowing if I turned around, Lucien would be smirking in that insufferable way of his. 

“Why would I want to kiss _you_?”

“Why not?”

From the first morning after I’d moved in, Lucien had been a thorn in my side. Yes, pissing him off was satisfying and finding things to laugh about together was rather nice- but he was an ass. I rolled my eyes. “You don’t even like me, Vanserra.”

“Still using last names, are we?” Lucien came to lean against the table I was working on. It took more effort than I wanted to admit not to throw the paint water in his stupid face.

“What do you want?” I asked. “If you’re here to tell me to keep away from Tamlin, it’s a bit too late, you know that.”

Lucien made a face of disgust.

“Not the image I wished to have so early in the day,” he said with a sigh. I dipped the brush into the water and swirled it around, drying it against the paper towel.

“Jealous?” I teased, looking up at him. His eyes narrowed.

“Of what?”

“That your best friend has a girlfriend now.”

Lucien scoffed. “Hardly.”

“Or…” I crossed my arms, knowing exactly where his eyes would fall. “Do you wish I was knocking on your bedroom door when everyone’s gone to sleep?”

Lucien leaned forward, taking me by the chin. I was surprised how fast my heart was racing, and I was glad to be sitting down.

“Unfortunately, Feyre darling, I am spoken for.”

I found myself grinning.

“Who!”

Lucien let me go and made to leave, but I rolled my chair in front of him, barring the way.

“I need to know.”

“Why? We aren’t friends.”

“No one else in this world irritates you like I do,” I said, “And you know you love it.”

“You would be surprised.”

“Do I know them?”

“No.”

“Will they be at the gala this weekend?”

“Possibly.”

Lucien was trying not to smile. I saw him look towards the door before he waved me over. I got to my feet and approached him. Lucien put a hand on my shoulder and whispered into my ear.

“No one knows… Not even Tamlin. And that’s all I will say.”

I groaned, rolling my eyes. “You suck.”

Lucien laughed. “Come along now, Feyre. We have a party to plan and I wish to be done before Tamlin gets home. He’s always in a foul mood after meeting with my father.”

*

Beron Vanserra was perhaps one of the most intolerable men I had ever had the displeasure to meet. The champagne in my glass was running low and he wouldn’t stop talking. Tamlin laughed and agreed with everything he said while Lucien didn’t bother pretending he wasn’t paying attention.

“This was rather bold of you,” Beron said to Tamlin as his gaze took in the gala.

“I told you, it’s fine.”

Beron scoffed before looking at me.

“At least you’ve come to your senses, Tam. This one doesn’t look like a-”

“Don’t,” Tamlin warned.

“Like what?” I asked, ignoring the look on Tamlin and Lucien’s faces. Beron chuckled.

“Like a low class nobody.”

I laughed, finishing my champagne before giving Tamlin a kiss.

“I need to go freshen up,” I said in a disgustingly saccharine tone. “I’ll be right back.”

Tamlin sighed and took my glass. “Don’t take too long.”

My eyes met Lucien’s and I walked off, trying not to roll my eyes.

The bathroom was as ridiculous as the rest of the building. Far too flashy for its purpose. But I went in and made sure my stupid dress was still covering what it was supposed to. I hadn’t brought a purse, not even a clutch but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t part of this world. Not really. And I was trying not to feel less than the other women in the gala. Wives, not girlfriends or side pieces, but wives. Women with social standing, women who grew up in this world and knew what the hell they were doing. Who dressed well, who remembered to bring a stupid purse to touch up make up I was still learning how to do. I liked Tamlin. A lot. He was handsome and liked to buy me pretty things, liked to show me off to all his friends especially on poker night. He was good in bed, which was a huge upgrade after Isaac. But sometimes…

I left the bathroom and decided to walk around, some of my artwork was on display. Even if they hated it, I wanted to see if anyone noticed the difference between well known artists and some nobody from the wrong side of Prythian. The theme for the summer’s gala was “fire” and I would never admit to anyone that I used Lucien as an inspiration for the colors. His hair, those mismatched eyes, even that nasty scar on his face. He was the living embodiment of it.

I stepped in front of the largest painting I’d done. It was the one I’d put the least effort into, but for some reason, it was my favorite. I’d painted a bon fire in the night, bodies dancing around it. No one else would know that every one of the dancers was based on Tamlin and his household. Lucien. Alys. Even me… But I was far away, watching, not part of it. But that was nothing new. Even at home with my sisters, I was merely a spectator.

I turned to go find Tamlin and was stopped by two blonde men with wine glasses in their hands. I tried to walk again but was stopped.

“Going somewhere?” the taller of the two asked.

“Fuck off,” I said which made them laugh.

“So, you’re Tamlin’s newest plaything?”

“Is that the best you can come up with?”

The taller one stepped closer. I saw a group of men talking and they seemed to be ignoring me. On purpose. No one was going to do a thing. I wasn’t one of them, even if I was warming Tamlin’s bed. The man touched my cheek.

“Why don’t you let me show you?”

“I would rather-”

“There you are,” a sensuous male voice said, “I’ve been looking for you.”

I turned to find myself staring at the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life. Eyes so blue they were almost violet, dark hair that was begging for someone to run their fingers through. He was taller than Lucien, taller than Tam. That tan skin- My mystery man slid an arm around my shoulder and held his glass out to the two blonde idiots who looked ready to shit themselves.

“Thank you for finding her for me, now run along.”

My savior waited until they were out of sight to let me go and look at me.

“You’re new here,” he said, licking his bottom lip before taking another drink. My mind took a nose dive into the gutter then.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked, feeling myself blush. He shrugged.

“You don’t look impressed,” he said. “Or that you care to impress. Which is smart in this world.”

“And what do you know of this world?”

I hadn’t realized how close I’d gotten to him until I heard Lucien call my name.

“There you are,” Lucien said and then noticed who stood next to me. I had never known Lucien to look so… flustered? Surprised? I couldn’t explain it. “Tamlin is looking for you.”

I groaned. Where the hell was Tamlin all of this time?

“For what?”

“Oh, so this is the lovely artist everyone’s been singing praises of,” the beautiful man said.

“Yes,” Lucien said, annoyed, “This is the infamous Feyre Archeron.”

“Oh, little Lucien, what have I done to upset you now? Am I not allowed to talk to your friends? I thought we were all honoring our truce tonight.”

I blinked, looking between Lucien and the stupidly gorgeous man beside me.

“Rhysand,” Lucien said in an irritated tone, “This is Feyre. Feyre, this is Rhysand.”

Rhysand smiled and held out his hand to me.

“Lucien is being far too kind,” Rhysand said as I took his hand. “I’m Rhysand del Valle.”

“_Oh_.” That was the only thing I could say. The del Valle family controlled more territory in all of Prythian than all of the other families combined. And… they were the Moran family’s greatest enemy. Years ago, when I was in high school, Wes Moran murdered Anibal de Valle’s wife and daughter to which Anibal retaliated with his son… Rhysand-

“Ah, you know, then. Perfect, I would hate to discuss such morbid things when your beautiful art is on display and I would much rather talk about that. What do you say, Feyre darling?”

**_Darling_**. I shook his hand, looking over at Lucien. And grinned.

“I would love nothing more,” I replied, and let Rhysand whisk me away, with Lucien begrudgingly following us.

**The Present**

Lucien traced over the scar on my arm from when it had broken… That seemed so far away now, but sometimes I could still remember how it felt. How sick I got. But more than that, what Lucien had done for me. What _Rhys_ had done for me.

Tamlin had done nothing.

”I’ve gotta get going,” Lucien whispered, leaning over to kiss me.

“Wear the blue shirt,” I said. Lucien grinned.

“Planning on ogling me through the meeting?”

“Yes.”

“And what will you be wearing?”

I laughed, kissing him again.

“That’s a surprise.”

With a groan, Lucien left my bed and got dressed. He left my room quietly, even though Tamlin wasn’t home. Again. Alys stepped in before the door had even closed and rolled her eyes.

“You two just love tempting fate, don’t you?” she asked, but I saw how she was starting to smile.

“What other way is there to live?” I playfully replied. She laughed.

“I’m glad to see you happy,” Alys said as she opened my closet.

“I’ll be happier once this day is over.” I got out of bed and walked off to the bathroom. “I’d like to wear the black dress suit today.”

Alys gave me a knowing smile. “Of course.”

*

Tamlin was waiting for me when I finished getting dressed, standing outside of my bedroom door and looking at his watch. He eyed me from head to toe as I held out my hand to him, knowing he was going to offer his arm instead.

“Brannagh and Dagdan are waiting for us,” he said by way of greeting, offering me his arm. I gave him a fake smile before I let him lead me downstairs. “I thought you didn’t like red.”

“You wanted that color for our wedding,” I said simply. “I figure I better get used to it. That’s what you wanted, right?”

Tamlin rolled his eyes. At least Lucien gave me the reaction I had expected. I was wearing a very fitted pencil skirt with a suit jacket that went over the red bustier Lucien had given me one weekend Tamlin was busy “working” with Ianthe.

Ianthe was smiling until she saw me walk into the dining room with Tamlin. Lucien almost choked on his coffee. Dagdan and Brannagh rose to their feet to say hello. Their hands were cold and I was very glad neither seemed to expect for me to kiss either side of their face.

“Our savior,” Brannagh said sarcastically. “While I had been dying to make that bitch pay for betraying us, I’m glad someone took care of it.”

“Well, _that bitch_ set her sights on the wrong family,” I said as Tamlin helped me into my chair. “Isn’t that right?”

Tamlin chuckled, leaning own to kiss the top of my head, something he hadn’t done in months. It felt weird.

“The Moran family?” Brannagh asked. “Or…”

Lucien closed his eyes and I kept a smile plastered on my face. This was when it was hard to pretend. This is when it broke my heart to be here, to live a lie.

“I saved my fiancé’s life,” I said softly. “That meant paying a debt to the del Valle- as your rules demand.”

Brannagh’s smile was so forced I was surprised her teeth hadn’t shattered from the effort.

“We prefer not to talk about that,” Tamlin said, putting his hand over mine. “Feyre suffered so all of you can sit here and talk your shit.”

Ianthe laughed and I was disappointed the twins didn’t throw their knife at her neck.

“Let’s not forget why we’re here,” Ianthe chimed. “With Amarantha gone, we can focus on the bigger picture.”

I turned my hand to hold his, giving Tamlin a smile. One that wasn’t forced- I didn’t have to lie about Rhys. About his- _our_ family. He didn’t know that, so he let me go and addressed the twins, bringing Ianthe to silence.

“Royce Hybern knew my family, they were partners before everyone went soft,” Tamlin said. “We worked together to bring Feyre back home. Rhysand isn’t the only one who broke faith in our truce.”

“So what are you proposing?” Dagdan asked. Tamlin shrugged.

“Prythian doesn’t need seven bosses, does it?” he said. “I think Royce and I are more than capable of taking it for ourselves. What do you think?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got time to play catch up here. As I mentioned in the original tumblr post with this chapter, Tamlin is trash and his behavior here is reminiscent of his behavior in the books. Choose your peace of mind over reading this. On my bad days I can't read anything with Tamlin and Feyre still together or whatever.

**The Present**

I was loathe to part with my breakfast but I wasn’t staying in that room longer than I had to. Everyone else was done, Tamlin didn’t need me there anymore. I excused myself, not waiting for him to say anything. Once, I would have waited for permission. Once, I would have sat there, smiling. Not anymore. 

I was almost at the stairs when someone took my wrist and stopped me. I was forcefully turned around, forced to face Tamlin and his ire. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded. I tried to break out of his hold but he only gripped me harder. 

“To my room,” I said. “Let me go, you’re hurting me.”

“You think I don’t know what you’re doing?” He stepped closer, so close he could kiss me if he wanted to. 

“What am I doing? Did I not smile enough? Did I embarrass you?” 

“Don’t think I don’t see the way you’ve been dressing. The way you always seem to find yourself next to Lucien.”

My disgust was real- I hated that he still thought I was his. That I loved him. 

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? For me to be fucking your best friend? You’d love a reason to go fuck Ianthe begins my back and not feel guilty-”

My back hit the wall before I could even understand what was happening. I knew the others had run into the hall, knew Lucien was forcing himself to stay back. Not to kill Tamlin before we got what we needed. 

“Ever since you came back you’ve changed. The Feyre I know doesn’t walk around looking like a goddamn slut.”

I smacked him. I smacked him so hard my hand burned. The twins were smirking. Lucien was in disbelief.

“How dare you! After all I went through- I want to feel like my body is _mine_ again. I need to feel like I didn’t lose myself. So fuck you, Tamlin. Fuck you for judging me for trying to heal from all I was put through to make sure you kept your goddamn place in this world.”

Tamlin stepped back, all of the anger gone. In its place was shock. 

“Feyre…”

“I need to be alone.”

“Baby-”

I hurried away before he could try to touch me again. To kiss me. I stopped halfway up the stairs to take my heels off and throw them aside before I stormed to my room and slammed the door shut. I heard him yell at the others, heard the twins laugh at him. Heard Lucien shout at Tamlin who just told him to fuck off. I couldn’t hear the rest, didn’t care.

I took my jacket off and threw my closet doors open and started to tear the clothes from the hangers. The only clothes I carried to my bed were those Rhys and Lucien had given me, a pretty blouse Morrigan gave me for Christmas. A pair of boots Cassian got me. I found the leather bag Azriel lent me when I left- collateral, a promise that I would go back home. My heart hurt, missing them. Hating that I was here, that I had to pretend they were nothing when they were everything to me.

I was shoving everything into the bag when I heard the door open, heard it close. 

“Are you hurt?” He asked, and I shook my head. I’d been dealt worse than that. “Love, what are you doing?” 

He came to my side, putting his hands on my shoulders. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” 

“You won’t… not for much longer.”

“Why can’t we go now?”

“Because we can’t be in Tamlin’s territory when we leave. You know that.” 

I nodded, wiping my eyes before setting my bag on the floor. When I turned, there was a pained expression on Lucien’s face. He and Tamlin must have fought, there was a cut on his lip.

“He left. The twins want to meet with my father and Tamlin has to be there.”

“Good,” I said. “Maybe your dad will be of use and get rid of them.”

Lucien smiled, gently placing his hand on my neck. I noticed the scrapes on his knuckles, Tamlin didn’t walk away unscathed. Good.

“I promise, my love,” he said, kissing me. “We’ll be home soon. We’ll never be apart from him again.”

**Nine Months Ago **

I looked at the clock on the wall, but it was more random lines and dots in a circle. I sighed, looking at my phone and wondering who decided that clock was art. It was headache inducing. 

I wanted to go home and sleep. Maybe Tamlin would be too tired for anything. It had been a long day and ever since he’d “caught me” talking to Rhys at the gala, he’d been annoying. Jealous. Possessive. Lucien had been avoiding me too, as if he were afraid I’d say something to Tamlin. As if he didn’t trust me. I wasn’t sure why that hurt. 

Laughter from outside of my office brought me out of my reverie. I decided to go make nice, just in case someone told Tam they didn’t see me here. 

My heart stopped when I saw Rhysand standing with two women who looked like twins. They even dressed the same way. He saw me and smiled, excusing himself to approach me. 

“Feyre, darling! What a lovely surprise.”

“I literally work here.”

“Do you really?” he asked with a knowing smile.

I crossed my arms. 

“What are you doing here?”

He shrugged, the look on his face making him seem so young it was easy to forget just who and what he was. 

“Don’t you ever get tired of Tamlin’s day long meetings about money and drugs…”

I laughed. “Yes. God, yes.” 

Rhysand looked around before putting his hands in his pockets.

”When do you close?”

“Four-thirty?” 

He looked amused. “Well, darling, if I wait for you, would you like to join me around… four-thirty to have a drink?”

I felt my heart do leaps in my chest. 

“For real?”

“Of course.”

“Fine.” 

“Really?”

“I lock up and then go to my car that’s parked down the block. Meet me there?” 

Rhys took the liberty of taking my hand and kissing it. “Four-thirty,” he said, and walked away, telling the others he was changing his mind on the painting he wanted. He was going to commission one. 

*

“You actually waited,” I said, finding myself smiling as I beheld Rhys leaning against my car. 

“Did you think I wouldn’t?”

“Won’t someone see you?”

“This is neutral territory my darling, Feyre. Or did Tamlin fail to mention that?”

I scowled. He smirked.

“I can’t exactly stay out too long.”

Hands in his pockets, Rhys pushed himself off the car and walked towards me.

“I shall cherish every second of your time, darling.”

I laughed. 

“You have 29 minutes to get liquor in my system.”

But an hour later, I was ignoring Lucien’s phone calls. We didn’t drink, the smell of someone cooking on a grill completely taking us off course. Rhys and I had ordered burgers and fries, milkshakes and onion rings. He looked so out of place here but I had the feeling Rhysand made any place fall under his charm. _His_ phone kept going off too, but he ignored it, teasing me relentlessly. 

“Is Tamlin missing you?” He asked, leaning over and propping his chin against his fist. 

“No. It’s just Lucien. He’s my babysitter.”

“Where’s Tamlin?”

I leaned forward and stole fries off his plate.

“Just because you’re cute doesn’t mean I get to tell you my boyfriend’s secrets. You two hate each other.”

“Is that what you think?”

“I don’t know. You’re a forbidden subject in the house.”

Rhys switched our plates around, giving me complete access to his untouched fries. 

“Am I? I like the sound of that. Makes it infinitely better when you indulge in it, no?”

“Tell me how you know Lucien.”

“Only if you tell me something no one else knows.”

I held my hand out to him, realizing there was still salt on my fingertips. Rhys didn’t seem to care as he smiled and said, “Deal.”

Rhysand and Lucien had met as teens in school. “All the rich pricks sent their children to the same academy,” he said as he ignored another phone call. “We hated each other at first.”

“He is so annoying, isn’t he?” I teased, to which Rhys said, “But isn’t it entertaining?”

I laughed. “Riling him up is probably my second favorite thing to do.”

“After painting?”

“Yes. But don’t deviate from your course.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, darling.”

I rolled my eyes.

“He was my first boyfriend. And what a whirlwind that was… Until of course Tamlin’s father killed my mother and Tamlin made Lucien choose.”

“What?”

Rhys nodded. “Tamlin made us into a trio- not like that. Tamlin isn’t my type.”

I snorted.

“We were the best of friends, we three. Despite who our parents were. But… Tamlin had taken Lucien in when Lucien had run away from home. He felt indebted to him.”

“Why didn’t he run to you?” I asked. Rhys rubbed the back of his neck.

“I have a cousin, Morrigan. After what Lucien’s older brother did to her, my father forbade me to see him. But I still did… Of course, I did.”

“Until Wes.”

Rhys nodded. Suddenly, the thought of going back to Tamlin made me feel sick.

“It doesn’t bother you? To sit here with me, knowing what I am to him?”

Rhys leaned his head to the side, looking at me curiously. As if I were some puzzle he couldn’t figure out.

“Why should it bother me?” he asked softly. “When you are another innocent person indebted to him? Because you are, aren’t you?”

Shame left me blushing furiously. His phone rang again and he let out such an irritated sigh, it left me surprised. “What?” he answered, sounding for all the world like an exasperated husband. But he had no ring… though I knew better than to believe a ring symbolized anything. “Well, of course she is ignoring you, darling. I _am_ rather interesting.”

I looked at him, in shock… Did that mean…

“My love, would you just stop? You’re making a mountain out of molehills… I don’t have to send Az anywhere. She’s fine. She’s with me.” Rhys rolled his eyes and handed me the phone. “Please tell this mother hen that you’re alright.”

I took the phone and Rhys waved me on.

“Hello?” I heard a familiar sigh of relief and then-

“You can’t do that to me, Feyre!” Lucien cried. “If anything were to happen to you… What are you doing?”

“I’m eating dinner. Why? Don’t tell me you’re going to start acting like Tamlin.”

“Do not insult me, Archeron.”

“Ouch, Vanserra… Are we back to surnames again?”

Silence for a time and then, “Stay put. I’ll meet you there. The last thing I need is Tamlin hearing about this.”

Rhys was utterly amused when I handed him back the phone. “I will remain until you arrive, fox… Yes, yes, I love you, too… Don’t be silly. Feyre’s not going to tell, are you darling?”

I found myself smiling as I shook my head.

Later, when Lucien arrived, and at his insistence, we met him outside in the alley where no one could see us. I had never seen Lucien so… vulnerable as Rhysand embraced him. Their kiss left me feeling hollow. Tamlin never kissed me like that. When they stopped and looked at me, I was blushing.

“This was one of the loveliest evenings, Feyre. We should do this again,” Rhys said as he offered me his hand. When I took it, he pressed a kiss over my knuckles.

“Thank you,” I said. “We should.”

“You two keep each other safe,” he said, looking at Lucien. “I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to you.”

Lucien kissed him again before Rhys left, disappearing into the dark as if he himself were made of night. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding before Lucien whirled on me.

“Are you mad?” he growled out.

“What?”

“Do you know what would happen if anyone tells Tamlin you were with Rhys?”

I let out a sigh and took his hands, surprising him into silence.

“No one is going to know.”

“But Tam-”

“Can fuck himself.”

“Why do you care?” he asked me, the look in his eyes as though he feared the answer. But I think my reply scared him more.

“No one has ever looked at me the way he looks at you,” I said and began to walk away. “Love like that should be protected.”

Lucien took my hand, stopping me. When I looked at him, there were actual tears in his eyes.

“Feyre… Swear to me. Swear you won’t tell anyone.”

“I swear, Lucien. On my life, I swear.”

He surprised me with a hug, one I returned happily.

“Let’s go. Tamlin is going to be pissed.”

“I’ll calm him down.”

“Ew.”

“Want me to swing by after?”

Lucien made a sound of disgust and muttered something along the lines of, “You’re just like Rhys.”

I wasn’t sure why that made me smile. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter the same week I had to go to court and see my real life Tamlin. It was rough. It sucked. But all's well in the world. This one is a little violent. Just a forewarning.

**The Present**

I felt like a child sitting with Lucien as Tamlin paced back and forth in the living room of the hotel we had been staying at for some time now. A child who got caught doing something they shouldn’t have. If I looked at Lucien, I knew I was going to burst into laughter.

“You could have risked everything,” Tamlin said for what seemed to be the hundredth time since the twins came back this morning, covered in blood that didn’t belong to them. Shame, but what more could I do?

“They murdered women in your territory,” I said as calmly as I could. Killing those women had been the kindest thing Brannagh and Dagdan had done to those poor women. “They did things not even the Bogge do to their victims. And that is saying _a lot_.”

That wasn’t their real name, I knew. But the few who survived them spoke of this group of men as if they were monsters in some fairy world, hellbent on exploiting your fears as they tortured you to death. Of course, they lived in Tamlin’s territory and while I still didn’t understand what they held over Tamlin- they had a tentative truce. They didn’t bother Tam, he didn’t bother them. And sometimes, if Tamlin needed someone to disappear… He went to them, as Lucien and I had.

“Don’t play dumb, Feyre. Ianthe saw you with Lucien leaving their bar when you were supposed to be working. Should I call her a liar?”

“If I didn’t do something, you were going to look weak.”

He stopped his pacing, glaring at me.

“What did you say?”

I rose to my feet and heard Lucien curse behind me.

“I said, you were going to look weak. You are allowing an outsider to do whatever he wants, allowing his people to do whatever they want. What does that look like?”

“That outsider is helping me get what I want.”

“I’ll try to remember that when he stabs you in the back, too.”

Tamlin looked as though I’d slapped him, practically snarling before he stormed out of the hotel room. I jumped when the door slammed. Lucien got up from the sofa and came to my side, close enough that he could hold me but not too close… We knew we had no privacy here.

“Soon,” was all he said, kissing my cheek- nothing no one had ever seen before.

The following morning, we were on the move again. We were driving towards the Vanserra family’s territory, Lucien quiet the entire ride. Tamlin offered him wine and beer, trying to coax a smile from him.

“It’ll be worth it, Lucien,” Tamlin said, and before we knew it, we’d made it to another hotel. The last stop before we met with Royce. We were not officially outside of Tamlin’s territory, but it was far enough that Lucien and I could leave tonight if we wanted to. But it was too risky.

I went to bed immediately after dinner, my head hurting so bad I was getting nauseated. Tamlin had Lucien walk me to my room while he took Ianthe to drink with the twins at the bar. Lucien helped me into pajamas and tucked me in to bed. I smiled as my eyes grew heavy, hearing a chair being dragged across the floor. He took my hand in his and I could hear him saying something but I was falling out of consciousness.

I woke up with a migraine and a dry mouth. Breakfast didn’t help. I ended up emptying my stomach afterwards, worrying Lucien. Even Tamlin.

“I’m leaving Ianthe and Lucien to look after you,” Tamlin said as I lay in bed. He brushed my hair away from my face. He pushed something under my pillow. “Just in case.”

My response was incoherent and Tamlin eyed me warily before he left the room.

I woke up hours later, noticing there was a glass of water on the side table. I wanted to drink it, but I didn’t know who put it there and Lucien wasn’t sitting in the chair. Tamlin had slid a small blade under my pillow which would have been endearing once. I set it on the dresser and went to shower. Once I got dressed, I pocketed the blade and threw on a jacket.

No one was here. Even Ianthe seemed to be gone. I walked to Lucien’s room and stopped, hearing him saying something in a tone I didn’t like. Then, I heard Ianthe laugh. I opened the door to find Lucien on the little sofa by the window, with Ianthe leaning over him. She had one hand against his chest and the other between his legs. I saw red.

“Get your fucking hands off him.”

“Or what?” Ianthe asked, a sick grin on her face.

Lucien took that chance to push her off of him but she grabbed him by the hair. I wasted no time in tackling into her. She pulled on my hair, tried to scratch at my face but I hit her. Once. Twice. My knuckles scraped against her teeth. The wind was knocked out of me when she rammed her knee against my stomach but I pushed her, just enough that she lost her footing and hit the table. I didn’t give her a chance to get up, pushing her back down against it. I got down to the floor and took her by the wrist of her right hand as I reached for my blade.

“Crazy bitch!” she spat as I tightened my grip on her wrist and drove the blade through her hand. She screamed but I dug the blade deeper in until it pierced the table. 

“Don’t you ever touch another person that way,” I breathed out.

“My hand… Oh my god, my hand!” she repeated and I got to my feet.

“I should kill you,” I said, “But I have better things to do.”

I reached down and grabbed the blade and pulled it out, Ianthe screaming until her eyes rolled back and she fainted, falling over with a loud thud. I felt someone grab me and I turned to find Lucien with my bag already over his shoulder. Slowly, he pried the blade from my hand before putting his hands on my shoulders, telling me to breathe. “It’s just me love,” he said and kissed either side of my face.

“We need to go,” he said and once I nodded, I let him lead me out of the room. It was pointless to avoid cameras, so we left the room as though nothing happened. He even locked it. He took my bloodied hand in his, keeping close to me as we walked to the elevators.

Down in the garage, Lucien found Tamlin’s car. He handed me my bag once I was seated before he went to work on disabling the GPS.

“We’ll have to switch cars,” he said as he started the car. “But this will get us far enough.”

I took his free hand and tugged, bringing him to look at me. I kissed him, finding myself in tears.

“We’re going home,” I said and Lucien nodded, kissing me again.

*

**Eight Months Ago**

“What do you mean I have to go home?” I shouted as Alys was busy packing my belongings. Tamlin was sighing, trying not to lose his patience. “This is home!”

“You’re not safe.”

“And sending me away is going to change that? Let me help- There has to be something.”

I looked at Lucien who just shook his head.

“So you wait until I tell you I love you to break up with me?”

“Baby, no… Just listen, please,” Tamlin pleaded, putting his hands on my hips, pulling me towards him. “If I knew of another way, I would keep you with me forever.”

“So don’t do this.”

“I have to.”

“Fine,” I spat, pushing out of his hold.

“Don’t be that way.”

“Leave me alone.” I looked at him then at Lucien. “Both of you.”

Alys gave me a sympathetic smile as I stormed into the bathroom and locked the door. I turned on the water in the tub before I went through the cabinet under the sink where I kept the ‘feminine things’ Tamlin never wanted to acknowledge I needed and had been scandalized I’d even asked for them. There was a make up bag there that I grabbed and went to sit on the edge of the tub. There was a phone inside that Rhys had given me the last time I’d seen him which had been a month ago.

_He wants to send me away_, I wrote and pressed send, closing my eyes and letting out a sigh.

_Will you both be leaving then?_ was Rhysand’s swift reply. I smirked.

_Just me. He says ‘it isn’t safe anymore’. _

I saw that Rhys was responding but then he stopped and started again. I set the phone aside and turned the water off, undressing and getting in the tub. The phone went off again and I reached for it.

_When can you get out again?_

_I don’t know. Why?_

_Has he let you go back to work?_

That left a bitter taste in my mouth and had me blushing in shame. I’d been kept home for weeks now. Rhys had paid Tamlin a visit to ‘check on things’ and Tamlin had decided it was no longer safe for me to leave. And it seemed every day he found some other reason to keep me home.

_No. _

To my surprise, Rhys called. I answered and whispered, ‘Hold on’ and hurried out of the tub. I opened the door just enough to shout for the smart speaker to play music. I heard Rhys chuckle as I repeated myself twice before heavy metal blared and I returned to the tub.

“Has he told how we came to our truce?” Rhys asked and I shook my head, remembering he couldn’t see.

“No.”

Rhysand sighed.

“Tell me you know who Royce Hybern is.”

“No.”

“Darling, darling… What am I going to do with you?”

His tone made me blush but I quickly recuperated.

“Tell me what I need to know.”

And he did. Royce had started an outright war between all of the families until every boss came together to get rid of him. The bastard managed to escape Prythian (his words, not mine), leaving his family behind. They’d managed to wipe out his entire organization. Except one- his most trusted partner. Amarantha.

“She came back wanting to make amends, and we were all stupid enough to entertain it.”

“So… this woman has you all by the balls?”

I knew he was smiling. “Yes. Very much so.”

“Why don’t you just kill her?” I asked to my own surprise. Rhys seemed a bit taken a back as well.

“It isn’t that simple, my darling.”

Silence and then- “Your precious boyfriend is not the only reason why we have to be discreet.”

“I think I understand.”

I heard a woman’s voice and Rhys let out a regretful sigh.

“I must go now,” he said quietly. “No matter what you do… stay safe.”

The following morning, Tamlin held the car door open for me. He kissed me but I didn’t have the energy to kiss him back. He told me loved me but I said nothing- it felt wrong. All of this was wrong.

Lucien wasn’t there, but we’d said our goodbyes late in the night. I hadn’t expected to care about Lucien as much as I did, and I had cried so much one would think I was in love with him. Lucien had laughed at that when I told him as much.

I was driven to an estate a few hours away where my sisters now lived with our father. Servants came to retrieve my suitcases but no one else was there to welcome me. I watched the car drive away and gripped the straps of my bag, forcing myself to look at the place I was expected to call home and walked inside. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I began deviating from canon a bit here. To my understanding, the time between feyre being sent away and going back for tamlin didn't span more than a week. No one's corrected me yet so i'm running with it lol This one is a tad more violent than the others. I had to try to think of real word reasons for Amarantha's choices and make the tasks more sensible for our world. They still suck tho. Since there's no such thing as fae bane (that i know of) we're going with good ole drugs. don't do em kids

**Eight Months Ago**

Despite being hired on by Tamlin, the house staff at the estate tip toed around me. Eyed me as though I would lash out at any moment. As if I were someone to fear. I slept with a mob boss, I didn’t become one. But I supposed that was alright. I preferred being alone than sitting down and pretending I gave a shit about this season’s latest fashion (okay, maybe I did care) whilst eating sandwiches that did nothing to satiate my hunger around socialites and other fake friends Nesta and Elain invited over. We ate our meals together in awkward silence, although Elain tried to spark conversation from time to time.

As she was right now, sweating beneath the summer sun as she tended to her garden. I had brought a sketch book with me but I’d stared at the page for half an hour before accepting that today was not a day for drawing. 

“Dad called me this morning,” she said, wiping her brow with the back of her hand. “I told him you were home… He said he was sorry he wasn’t here to receive you.”

I shrugged, tying up my hair. Elain ripped a weed out and tossed it aside before fixing her brown eyed gaze on me.

“We were worried about you, Feyre… All these months with no word.”

“You never called,” I said with a shrug. “Never visited me.”

“And you didn’t either.”

“I did call. But no one ever answered. And I couldn’t leave-”

Elain raised a brow.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing.” I felt hot suddenly, and I knew it had nothing to do with the sun.

“Nesta tried to visit you,” Elain said softly. “But she was turned away. She barely made it into your neighborhood before she was stopped and told to turn around.”

“When?”

“I think, Feyre, that you should ask Nesta yourself.”

*

I found Nesta in one of the living rooms, doing homework. I was going to leave but she set her books aside and cleared her throat. With a sigh I walked over to where she sat and joined her. I noticed the coffee pot on the table but did not see a cup. I found myself smiling at that.

“What?” Nesta asked and I shrugged, shaking my head.

“We have all this money now and still can’t let go of certain habits.”

“Fuck off,” Nesta said and reached for the coffee pot and drank from it, further proving my point.

“Nesta… I need to know something.”

“Hm?” She drank more coffee before setting the pot down.

“Did you really try to see me?”

It seemed that Nesta had not expected me to ask that. But she recovered, crossing her arms.

“I did. And was turned away.”

“When?”

“Just weeks after you left. I was forced to drive away, threatened if I ever came back without Tamlin’s expressed permission.”

My blood boiled.

“What?”

“Elain called the house and you were always busy.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“We _did_-”

“No… I believe you but…” How did I tell my older sister that all this time no one had told me that they’d tried. That I’d spent all these months believing they didn’t care.

“He kept you from us.” It wasn’t a question. “Were you together?”

I nodded.

“Do you love him?”

“I… I don’t know.”

And I didn’t know. Not now that he had sent me away and had been keeping my sisters from me. That should have been my choice to make, not his. Never his. I didn’t really miss him, either. But Lucien…

“You look like a girl in love,” Nesta said. “Your entire demeanor just changed.”

“No… No, I’m just thinking about a friend. I’m worried about him.”

“A friend?”

“Lucien. He’s probably the only decent person out there.” Him, and Rhys. But I wouldn’t risk bringing him up, not here.

“And where is this Lucien? Or is he not allowed to talk to you either?”

I know Nesta said those words bitterly, but something seemed to break inside me. I had not spoken to either of them since I left.

“I have to go back.”

“What?”

“Tamlin sent me away because he said it wasn’t safe… If something happened to Lucien, Nesta I have to go back.”

“You can’t be serious!”

I rose to my feet. “I have to be sure that he’s alright.”

“Their world isn’t safe, he will always be in danger,” Nesta argued.

“All the more reason for me to go.”

*

I knew something was wrong the moment I saw the mansion come in to view. I didn’t see any of the guards, not even the ones who were undercover. The front gates were open, which never happened unless we had guests over, and even then, someone was outside. Always.

I parked the car, texting Nesta that I’d made it. Once I knew she’d seen my message, I stepped out and went to unlock the front door. But that was unlocked, too. The lights were off. I didn’t hear talking, I didn’t hear anything. Fighting the urge to call for Lucien, I hurried upstairs and went directly to his room. He wasn’t there. But I knew where he kept his guns and the pretty knives he’d shown me how to throw. He’d shown me how to load a gun, how to use it.

Gun in hand I walked through the mansion, knowing they weren’t there but still needing to be sure. Needing to know that I’d covered my bases. When I heard something fall and break on the floor, I started running. I skidded to a stop just outside of the kitchens and leaned back against the wall. I closed my eyes, trying and failing at catching my breath.

I opened my eyes once I heard the doorknob being turned and pushed myself off the wall. I didn’t touch the trigger, and I wouldn’t, not until I knew who was there.

“Feyre!”

I stepped back, realizing it was Alys. She held her hands up, her eyes on the gun pointed at her head.

“It’s just me, dear.”

I let out a shaken breath, putting the gun down.

“Where are they?”

“They’re gone. As you should be.”

“Where are they?” I repeated.

Alys sighed. “Amarantha came for them.”

My heart stopped.

“They broke in the night after he sent you away, armed guards and all.”

“Why?”

Alys gave me a heart broken smile.

“Men make promises they cannot keep. Amarantha grew tired of waiting for Tamlin to pay his debts.”

“What does Lucien have to do with this?”

“It’s why Tamlin sent you away. You are dear to him, as Lucien is.”

“She can’t hurt him,” I said, taking a step back. “She can’t.”

Alys stepped forward.

“You cannot go after them.”

“I have to.”

“Feyre, listen to me-”

“I love him,” I said, not sure who I meant. It didn’t matter, either. Not when the chance of losing either of them was too great. “I have to try.”

Alys made to argue but simply shook her head.

“I will tell you where to go. Nothing more.”

*

I didn’t reach Amarantha’s home until nightfall. The guards eyed me curiously but still let me through. It looked as though she was throwing a party. I parked my car and walked towards the front doors where two guards stood with rifles in hand.

One moment I was asking to see Amarantha and the next, I was being forced on my knees. The gun, the knife, even my fucking car keys were taken. I was kicked in the ribs and pulled by the hair, forcing me to stand.

I was led through the mansion, passing party guests drinking cocktails. I saw two doors ahead of me and as they opened, I was pushed into the room. I fell to my knees and heard the room go quiet.

“What’s this?” I heard a woman say. My knife and gun were thrown on the floor beside me.

“She came here armed. Looking for you,” a guard said. The woman laughed.

I looked up, finding myself staring at a woman who would have been beautiful had her face not been twisted in a cruel smile. Her hair was red, but it was not like Lucien’s. And beside her… Tamlin. She looked between us and laughed.

“Oh! Is this the little pet I heard so much talk about?” Amarantha caressed Tamlin’s arm and he remained silent. “Silly thing. You have no place here. Isn’t that right, Tamlin?”

Tamlin said nothing. 

“Get her out of my sight,” Amarantha ordered.

“No!” I shouted as I was forced to my feet. “I’m not leaving here without him!”

When a guard made to grab me, Amarantha raised her hand in sign for him to stop. Only then did I see Lucien, standing beside a woman who looked like she could be his mother. He looked horrified.

“Tamlin is free to go as he likes,” she cooed, linking her arm in his. “Tell her.”

“I want to be here,” Tamlin said at last. “Just leave.”

“No.”

“Feyre, go!” It was Lucien who shouted and Amarantha seemed to find this amusing. His mother had her hand on his wrist, as if she were holding him back.

“And what would you do to get him back?”

Lucien began shaking his head but I looked away. I met Amarantha’s gaze. She didn’t like that.

“Anything.”

“Anything? That’s rather bold coming from someone like you.”

“You know nothing about me.”

She smiled and felt my skin crawl.

“I will give you three jobs to do. I know you worked for Tamlin, it is only fair you do the same for me. If you do them, he’s yours.”

I looked at Lucien but saw movement to my right. Rhysand was there, hands in his pockets, a look of utter boredom on his face. But his eyes… it was in his eyes. What had she done to him?

“Three jobs,” I said, looking at Amarantha again, “And you let them all go.”

Amarantha laughed and everyone joined her, everyone but Lucien and Rhys. Lucien’s mother only looked at the floor.

“What do you have to lose to someone like me?” I asked, silencing her. Silencing all of them. “I know about you. Don’t tell me the stories are all bullshit.”

“Three jobs,” she said as I was pushed forward. “Do them all, and everyone is free to go.”

I was hit in the back of the head. I might have screamed, I knew I cried, but none of it mattered. They didn’t stop, they wouldn’t stop until she told them to. And why would she? I was their entertainment tonight.

By the end of it, I was on the floor, covering my face with my hands.

“Get her out of my sight,” Amarantha ordered. “And clean up this mess. The party has just begun.”

**The Present**

I awoke with a start, quickly taking hold of the wheel as our car swerved off the road. The grooves slowed us down until the car was in the grass missing the trees by a miracle. Lucien was awake, but he looked ready to be sick, his skin covered in sweat- much like I had been lately. His hands shook as he fought to catch his breath.

“Love, what happened?”

“I… I don’t know,” he said, “I-”

Lucien stopped, opened the door and began to empty his stomach. I unbuckled the seat belt and got out, walking around until I was kneeling at his side. I rubbed his back until he finished, realizing I had dry blood beneath my nails.

There was one bottle of water in my bag that I gave to Lucien to rinse his mouth with before we switched seats. My head hurt, but I hadn’t eaten since the night before.

“There was a gas station-”

“No,” Lucien said. “We keep going. I’ve sat through worse. I can wait.”

I grimaced but relented. It started to rain once we were on the road again, with Lucien looking worse with every passing moment. The rain gave us a chance to ditch Tamlin’s car behind some shitty motel and get ourselves another less conspicuous car.

“We didn’t really think this through, did we?” Lucien teased, his smile not quite meeting his eyes.

“No…,” I said. “But we’ll have one hell of a story to tell Rhys.”

Lucien didn’t laugh and I looked his way again, noting the way he was clenching his jaw, the hand over his chest.

“We need to stop somewhere, Luce.”

“No.”

“You look like shit.”

He managed to roll his eyes, glaring at me.

“Not yet,” he said through gritted teeth.

“How far are we?”

“Not far enough.”

“We’re practically crossing into your father’s territory.”

Lucien closed his eyes tight.

“There’s a small town in between territories. Safe house. Neutral.”

I reached out and touched his face, blinking away tears. How had I not realized it sooner?

“They drugged us, didn’t they?”

Lucien chuckled. “Should’ve upped the dose.”

“That’s not funny.”

“When we meet them again,” he said, “They’ll wish they had.”

*

My eyes burned and my throat was dry. I only knew it was morning because of the radio I had going to keep me awake. Lucien had been in and out of sleep, even as the rain poured, making it almost impossible to see. The thunder had me on edge; I kept imagining a car following us but the cars that drove by me were few and far between. Yet every time I saw lights, I panicked.

“Let me drive,” Lucien croaked, putting his hand over mine. His skin was clammy.

“We can’t stop,” I said. “I don’t know where we are.”

“What time is it?”

Lucien held up his left wrist close to his face and squinted. When he cursed, I felt nothing but dread.

“We keep driving north,” he said. Lucien tied his hair back despite how taxing that small act seemed. He reached for my bag and set it on his lap and began to rummage through it. “We don’t stop. For nothing.”

I would have asked why had he not pulled out a fucking pistol. I focused on what little I could see ahead as he loaded the gun, the sound threatening to bring me back to that mansion, two dead at my feet. A memory that was so far away, but never seemed to leave me.

“I’m sorry, love,” I heard Lucien say. I breathed in and let it out, feeling him take my right hand in his. “Just drive… Let me deal with the rest.”

I nodded, feeling my throat close up. There would be no stopping here, no chance to rest. We were in Beron’s territory now. And he’d have us killed the first chance he got. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried writing one a certain scene here. I'd written this right after the first chapter of the nessian fic and I was a hot mess. lol

Eight Months Ago

I’d been in bed for days, maybe. They brought me food at different hours of the day, the time between meals irregular. But I barely touched it. Leftovers from her meals- half eaten pieces of meat, bread that had been bitten into. Cheese that had sat out for too long. I’d sucked it up once I was hungry enough until they’d brought me spoiled milk to drink. I left my plate untouched since then. 

There was a soft knock on the door and I hated how quick I was to flinch. It was in these moments, when I didn’t know who was on the other side of the door, that I wished I’d listened to Alys. But then I saw Lucien peek into the room before stepping inside. He closed the door and made his way towards me.

“You look terrible,” he said by way of greeting. He kneeled down beside me and touched my face, a forced smile on his face. “And you stink.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” I croaked out. Those were the first words I’d spoken since that night. Lucien’s attempt at mirth quickly faded.

“Why did you come back, Feyre?”

Why _had_ I come back? Did I really love Tamlin that much? When I didn’t speak, Lucien tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and let out a sigh.

“Your nose is broken… I can set it so it doesn’t heal wrong.”

I would have grimaced if it didn’t hurt so much to do so.

“The water,” I said. “It’s laced.”

Lucien looked mortified but he knew what I was asking and hurried over to the table where the last meal I’d been given still sat untouched. He grabbed the glass and sniffed at it. It didn’t have a smell, nor much of a taste, but I’d be losing consciousness before Lucien finished, of that I was sure.

Lucien sat on the bed and pulled me close to him. He held me up and then brought the glass to my lips.

“I’m going to say thank you now,” I said. “I won’t be able to after.”

Lucien only nodded.

I didn’t leave a single drop of water. My head was already spinning. Lucien pressed a kiss to my temple and wrapped both arms around me.

“They’ll be coming for you soon,” he whispered. “She wanted me to tell you, to scare you.”

“What a sense of humor,” I managed and he laughed softly.

“I don’t know what she means for you to do… I don’t know if I can be of much help.”

I closed my eyes, gripping his shirt as I felt everything spin. Lucien was saying something but I couldn’t understand. I knew he’d lay me down and there was a moment of blinding pain that forced my eyes open, and I found him looking down at me with tears in his eyes. But then everything went dark again.

Days later, I was given twenty minutes to shower and get dressed. My nose was taped by one of the guards who seemed annoyed to be stuck with me. I was allowed to eat and for once, it wasn’t old. But I only took a few bites before I was forced out of my chair.

Amarantha was sitting on a chaise by a fireplace, her legs on Tamlin’s lap. Rhys was sitting on the armrest beside her.

“You look terrible, dear,” she said as I was shoved into a chair. “But I need you to do something for me.”

Amarantha waved someone over who held a set of keys. Everyone in the room seemed to know what that meant except for Tamlin who was busy staring at Amarantha’s legs.

“What do you see in him?” Amarantha asked, reaching out to run her fingers through Tamlin’s hair. “He’s so boring… Rhysand, on the other hand…” She put her hand on his thigh in a possessive manner, leaving me with a sick feeling in my stomach. “I would tell you, but then you might steal him from me.”

Rhys looked down to the floor.

“So you were saying?” I grumbled out which made Amarantha laugh.

“See how he makes me forget? As I was saying, pet, we need entertainment.”

*

“You must watch a lot of crime tv,” I said as the metal door of the small lift opened to let me through. Amarantha smirked from where she watched me a level above. We were in some kind of warehouse, maybe. From where I stood, I saw tunnels- entrances or exits, depending on where they led. The guard with the keys locked the door to the lift, leaving me there alone.

“You don’t like it? Perhaps when this is over, I’ll have them paint the floors with your blood.”

“I don’t know,” I said as I saw someone, something, in the tunnels. “I’d suggest the walls.”

Amarantha laughed, as did others I recognized from the party. Rhys and Lucien were there as well, the both of them stone faced.

“So what am I doing?” I asked, doing my best not to look at the person I saw watching me from the dark.

“Getting rid of loose ends,” she replied. “I would do it myself but… you’ll see why I cannot go down there. And if you fail, well, I’m certain Tamlin will have it taken care of. Won’t you?”

Tamlin nodded.

“And if I don’t fail?”

“Consider your first task done.”

The light shut off and I breathed out, balling my hands into fists as I heard that someone running. Except they were running away from where I stood. Orange light flickered on and I looked up at Lucien, at Rhys, before walking towards the tunnel. I stopped and heard the others laugh. And then I ran.

It smelled like shit and cat piss. Of old food and sweat. I slowed to a walk and I pulled my long-sleeved shirt off, tying it around my head to cover my mouth and nose. Despite the cold down here, my tank top was clinging to my skin with sweat. It felt as though I’d been walking around for ages. But I was glad to be walking, it allowed me to hear when I was being followed. I turned a corner sharply and started to run, only to find myself facing them- him. He was ragged, filthy. And more than likely knew every damn twist and turn in this place.

I turned on my heel and ran, trying to find my way through the dimly lit tunnels. My knees and hands scraped the concrete as he tackled me to the ground. The smell of him was revolting, but his hands, god his hands made me want to climb out of my own body as he grabbed on me. I clawed at him as he tried to keep me pinned beneath him. I couldn’t knee him in the groin but I shoved my fingers into his eyes, not enough to do any real damage but enough that he pushed me away and I rolled out from under him and made a run for it. I saw light up ahead and when I saw the iron bars that led up and out into the street. I wasted no time in climbing up, hating how unsteady I was. How unsteady the bars were. But once I was up there, once I could lift open that cover, I could get out.

But I felt him grab my ankle and pull. I held on to the iron bar and kicked at his hands, but he wouldn’t relent.

“You’re going to get us both killed!” I shrieked as the iron bar I held felt loose. He said nothing and when the light hit his face, I knew why. They’d cut out his tongue. I tried kicking at him again but he pulled on me hard enough that the iron bar came out of the wall and I was falling.

The scream I let out when I hit the ground left me hoarse. Blinding, white pain shot up through my arm. I tried to get up but the minute I saw bone I had to fight the urge to gag. He jumped the last few bars and came over to me, taking me by the ankles and pulling me towards him. Realizing I was still holding the iron bar in my right arm, I swung blindly. I missed the first time but not the second or the third. I didn’t stop until he’d stopped breathing. Until I realized his head and his neck were no longer together-

I got lost but I finally saw the light. I pushed myself onwards, doing my best to keep my left arm against my chest. The light blinded me when I stepped out into the room, silencing everyone. I looked up until I found Amarantha and flung the man’s head at her. It hit the railing, splattering blood everywhere before falling to the floor. I fell to my knees and gripped my arm, never looking away.

Amarantha had the gall to sniff at the air and look at me as though I’d somehow disappointed her. Everyone but Rhys seemed disappointed but then I realized why.

“Pay up,” he said with a smirk.

*

My arm was getting infected. I’d been left as I was for days now and I was feverish, which was why I didn’t believe that Rhysand was walking into my room until his cold hand touched my forehead.

“You need a doctor,” he said solemnly.

“No shit,” I said which made him smile.

“Don’t let that fire die, darling,” he said, smoothing my hair away from my face. “You’re going to need it.”

“I’m going to die.”

I didn’t like the way he was looking at me.

“No, you won’t. Not if I can help it.”

“How can you help?” I asked. “She won’t… she won’t let you.”

“I would never have asked this of you, but I _can_ help you.”

“How?”

“We strike a bargain.”

I found the strength to glare at him.

“Your pretty face can only get you so far,” I struggled to say but he chuckled.

“There are far too many rules in this twisted world of ours. But, this bargain cannot be broken. Not even Amarantha can undermine it. Like this little game between you two. She has to see it to the third task, no matter what.”

“Fuck you,” I spat. “All of you.”

“Not in these conditions, my darling,” he said.

“What do you want, then?” I asked, closing my eyes. I couldn’t stand the pain anymore.

“One week. One week of every month for one year. You will come with me to my home.”

Had it been anyone else, I would have questioned everything but Lucien trusted him. _I_ trusted him, and when I remembered how Amarantha had touched him-

“Alright,” I breathed out. “Get me a doctor. Else you’ll never get to try your luck.”

His laughter followed me into the darkness that overtook me.

T**he Present**

On and on we drove through Vanserra territory, the rain beginning to let up. I could see the road ahead of me, the signs I drove passed. If things went smoothly, we would be in Kallias’s territory by sundown. We’d be safe, we’d go home.

But nothing ever went smoothly, not for us. It was as though I’d summoned them with my mind. A car came into view behind us. I didn’t have to see the red hair to know who they were.

“Keep driving,” Lucien said as he rolled the window down.

“What are you doing?” I shrieked.

“Buying us time,” he said and that was it. Lucien leaned out of the window and started shooting. He’d slid back into the car just as his brothers shot down our sideview mirrors. Lucien closed his eyes and breathed in, letting it out again before he was leaning out of the window again. Three shots, and then the sound of something hitting pavement. Lucien was back in the car, catching his breath.

“I got one,” he said, as though he couldn’t believe it. “They shoved him out of the car.”

“One less to worry about.”

“I’m going out one more time,” he said, breathless. “The second I come back, you hit the gas.”

Lucien was shouting insults and profanities at his brothers but I could barely hear it over the gunshots. I heard one more and then Lucien was in the car. I hit the gas, looking through the mirror to see his brothers’s car skidding as one of the tires burst.

I drove the car as fast as it would allow. Lucien reloaded the gun and used the rearview mirror to watch our backs. In the distance I could see cell towers and skyrises. We were almost there.

“For fuck’s sake,” Lucien muttered.

“What?”

“It’s Eris.”

“What do I do?”

“Just drive… I’ll figure something out.”

The sun was going down. I could see the sign that told us how close we were to Kallias. But Eris sped up behind us and drove his car into the opposite lane until his car was parallel to mine. When he drove on ahead, Lucien put his seat belt on.

“Slow down,” he said as calmly as he could. Eris was putting good distance between us. I let the car slow down to about 80 when Eris turned his car around.

”You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“You need to get into the opposite lane, but wait until he’s too close to swerve his car into us.”

“Luce…”

“We’re almost there, Feyre. We get through this and that’s it. Eris can’t follow us.”

I nodded, holding the wheel tight as I watched the headlights get brighter and brighter until Lucien shouted and I drove into the opposite lane. We were reaching the city limits, we were-

A loud pop sounded, and the car spun to a stop. Before the shock had full worn off, Lucien and I were pulled out of the car and pushed onto the road. I scraped the palms of my hands. Eris had brought Elias and Will with him, which meant Lucien had taken either Stephen or Nathaniel down. It didn’t matter, that was one less monster in the world. 

“That was fun,” Eris said. “I’m almost tempted to let you run just to see how far you get.”

“Let her go,” Lucien said. “Bring me back to Beron, just let her go.”

Eris tilted his head to the side and laughed.

“No… Tamlin is looking for her. You, though, you’re mine.”

“Fuck you,” I said to Eris and spit on the floor. “Don’t you touch him.”

Will pulled me by the hair and dragged me away from Lucien. When he tried to come after me, Eris pointed the gun at me. He motioned for Elias to come help hold me down on the pavement. I refused to scream, refused to show that I was terrified.

“Doesn’t this look familiar?” Eris said with a laugh.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Lucien said, his voice dangerously low.

“Or what? You couldn’t save Jes. Now, I can’t kill her, but you can watch all the fun we get to have until Tamlin gets here.”

Eris turned his back on Lucien, forever underestimating him. Never deeming him a threat. I screamed when Will fell onto me. Elias cursed, pushing Will off of me and pulled me to my feet, holding me against him. The knife I’d used on Ianthe was lodged in Will’s neck.

Eris pointed his gun at Lucien while Elias had his against my temple. Whatever threat Eris had to say was drowned out by the sound of engines roaring. We all turned to find a red car headed straight to us. But not just any red car- I laughed, scaring Eris and Elias. Only one person would drive that obnoxious Lamborghini.

“Cassian,” I said, tears stinging my eyes. And then my heart did leaps in my chest as the all black H2R I’d only seen twice in my life come to a startling halt besides the car. Azriel.

I laughed when those stupid doors went up, but my heart caught in my throat at the sight of him. And Az… He pulled off his helmet and only then did I notice the rifle strapped on his back. The two walked towards us with all the nonchalance and confidence only Rhysand’s brothers would have.

“If I were you,” Cassian said to Elias, “I’d let go of my sister.”

Azriel said nothing as he fixed that cool gaze on Eris. Elias pushed me away from him and I bolted, crashing into Cassian’s awaiting arms. He chuckled, kissing the top of my head.

“I missed you, too,” he whispered.

Cassian held me against him as I turned to find Az walking towards us, an arm around Lucien’s shoulders.

“Wait there,” he said to Lucien, giving him a pat on the shoulder before turning back. He had the rifle in his hands before Lucien had even come to our side. Eris and Elias froze where they were. Az looked into the black car and pulled my bag out. The gun Lucien had used. Then, he aimed the rifle at Eris’s car and blew the tires. Shattered the windows.

“We’ll be in touch,” Az said, slinging the rifle over his shoulder as though it were just another bag he carried, leaving Eris and Elias pale faced.

After another tear-filled embrace, Az put his helmet on, giving Lucien the spare. Cassian helped me into the car.

“How did you find us?” I asked one the doors were down.

“Once we lost contact with you, Az and I decided to drive down to look for you. We were with Kallias when Az finally got a hit on your location.”

I looked down at the bag at my feet and heard Cassian chuckle.

“We’ll worry about that later,” he said, putting a calloused hand over mine. It was enough to have me in tears again. “Let’s go home.” 


	8. Chapter 8

**The Present**

Morrigan was running down the driveway of Kallias and Vivianne’s mansion before Cassian had even parked. She was in tears by the time I ran out to meet her half way. I laughed when she lifted me off my feet and spun me around as though I was weightless. “I’ve missed you,” I whispered and she nodded, holding me that much closer.

“I’m taking you home,” she whispered back, kissing my face before she set me down.

“Where’s Rhys?” I asked, and before panic could take hold, Mor just smiled.

”Some trouble with Keir kept him in Velaris.” She noticed Kallias approaching and took my hand. “Later.”

I nodded.

“Are you alright?” Kallias asked. He looked paler than usual.

“Better… I’m much better.”

He let out a sigh.

“Viviane is waiting inside with dinner,” he said softly. “You should rest before you make that drive back home.”

I surprised him with a hug. I knew the alliance between him and Rhys was still new but I didn’t care. I had no words to explain how grateful I was that we were finally safe. I sniffled and blinked tears from my eyes.

“Dinner would be wonderful,” I said and turned to hold my hand out to Lucien.

Viviane hugged us so tight, Kallias tried to pry her away but she swatted his hands. She showed us to the bathroom before bringing us to eat something. Viviane saw to our injuries before we got into Morrigan’s red Aston Marton. Azriel went on ahead, with Cassian driving behind us. The three of them drove with the other on speaker, talking shit to one another as we sped home.

Lucien fell asleep after we’d been on the road for maybe twenty minutes. He looked better now that we’d eaten, but until we were home, I wouldn’t dare speak of what had been done to us. Not because I didn’t trust Kallias or Viv, but Rhys had to know first.

Lucien woke up when we made passed the border between territories.

“I can’t wait to shower,” he said with a yawn, Cassian and Azriel chuckling on the other end of the call. Lucien rolled his eyes.

“You should’ve taken Viv up on her offer.”

“And wear Kallias’s clothes? I think not.”

I giggled, reaching for his hand.

“Backway or main road?” Mor asked as she sped up.

“What does our lady desire?” Cassian purred, making Lucien chuckle. I didn’t have to see him to know Az was rolling his eyes.

“Main road,” I said clearly. “I want to see all of it.”

When we saw the city sign, my heart might have stopped. There were tears in my eyes as we began to pass the familiar houses and buildings. The café that Mor went to almost every day. The gym the guys practically lived in. Lucien’s favorite music shop. The jewelers that Amren gave all her money to. Apartments and bookstores. The art gallery and restaurants Rhys took us to every weekend. I could see the House of Wind, or the ‘big house’, as we all called it high up on the mountain, overlooking the city. We drove passed Amren’s apartment which meant…

When Mor parked the car, Az was already waiting outside out the townhouse. Cassian parked behind us, earning a curse from Mor who threatened to kick his car for getting too close. I didn’t wait for the door to be opened and stepped out, Lucien right behind me. The townhouse was just as we’d left it. The lights were off, which meant Rhys wasn’t home yet. But I was.

“Here,” Mor whispered, pressing something cold into my hand. I looked down to find my housekeys on the little keychain I’d bought with three bats on it. One for each of the boys. There was a fox and a fire drake, too. Then the phoenix, red and glimmering like the beautiful woman next to me. I hugged her tight, giving her a kiss before I grabbed Lucien’s hand and dragged him up the steps. Az stepped aside, a rare smile on his face as I unlocked the front door.

I flipped the hallway light on and stepped inside, slowly making my way through the house. I stopped in the living room and just breathed in, in disbelief that I was here. That I was home at last and Lucien was with me. I turned to face him, smiling- a true smile.

“We’re home,” I said to him and he breathed out, pulling me into his arms.

“Indeed, you are.”

My heart stopped, I felt Lucien still. I turned in Lucien’s hold to find Rhys leaning against the doorway, hands in his pockets. Something like a sob escaped my lips and Rhys was soon at my side, easing me down as I fell to my knees. He had his hands on my face, tears in his eyes before he kissed me. He put an arm around me and held me against him as he kissed Lucien. The two of them managed to lock me between them, as always. But I didn’t care. This was real, we were home.

“Never again,” Rhys said as he kissed me and then again when he kissed Lucien once more.

“Rhys,” I whispered, words failing me.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there-” Rhys began but Lucien stopped him.

“None of that, love… We’re here. That’s what matters.”

“Drinks?” I heard Cas say, and I knew Az and Mor were following him into the kitchen.

Rhys scooped me up into his arms and carried me upstairs, Lucien right behind us. Our bedroom was neat, far too neat, as if Rhys hadn’t slept here. He didn’t set me down until we were in the bathroom. Here, he drew us a hot bath before helping us out of our clothes. Luce and I had bruises where we’d been hurt. Rhysand’s eyes darkened at the sight, but there would be time for that. As if he’d read my mind, Lucien assisted me in undressing Rhys and guiding him into the tub.

It was quiet at first while we scrubbed away the last few days from our skin. Washing our hair was… awful. I hadn’t realized how badly they’d scraped my scalp until Rhys was massaging shampoo into it. I didn’t bother hiding my discomfort and once he rinsed it all out, he pulled me onto his lap.

“What did they do?” His voice was quiet. Lethal. Out of habit, my eyes slid to Lucien who was slouching in the water. When his eyes met mine, I remembered to breathe.

“I’m sorry,” I found myself saying. Rhys shook his head and kissed me.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“It was… I never want to see him again.”

“You won’t.”

“He’s working with Royce. The twins were drugging us and then Ianthe-” I stopped to breathe, putting a hand over my chest. At the sound of Ianthe’s name, Rhys looked at Lucien who appeared as though he’d seen a ghost. Rhys reached for him and pulled him close.

“We haven’t told them yet,” Lucien said. “I just… I just needed to get to you first.”

Rhysand didn’t have to say it. I saw it in his eyes. He’d kill every last one of them the first chance he got.

“Madja has to see you,” Rhys said. “Both of you.”

“Not yet,” I said too fast, which made him chuckle.

“No. Not yet.”

Rhys put an arm around Lucien and kissed his temple.

“I missed you every second.”

“And we missed you,” Lucien replied.

*

**Seven Months Ago**

I traced over the fox Lucien had drawn on my cast. I hadn’t seen him for a while now… Amarantha had taken her frustration with my bargain with Rhys out on Lucien… But I couldn’t stop myself from blaming Tamlin. Because Tamlin had been the one to hurt him- That was the last time I’d been allowed to leave this room, to be witness to their abuses until Rhys had pulled some strings, allowing me a moment to see Lucien a few days after.

_“Aren’t we a pair,” he said as he looked at my cast. I tried and failed at holding my tears back at the sight of the bandages on his back. He was laying on his stomach, his long hair up in a messy bun. _

_“I’m so sorry,” I began but Lucien shook his head, waving Rhys over. He took the pen from Rhysand’s shirt pocket before patting the space on the bed beside him. I knelt down and set my arm on the bed and he began to draw. _

_“Rhysand is sorry enough for the both of you,” Lucien teased. “And I’m sick of that already.”_

_“Darling…” Rhys sounded heart broken. _

_“I’ve lived this way all my life,” Lucien continued. “I’ll be fine. It’s you, Feyre, that I worry for.”_

_“I’m doing all I can, Luce.” Rhys had never looked so vulnerable before. Lucien shuddered, letting the pen fall. The fox’s tail was unfinished, so I finished it for him. Then I held the pen out to Rhys. He didn’t put it away as I expected, instead, he drew a circle and within it, a mountain with three stars above it. _

_Then a knock came to the door and Rhys helped me to my feet. One of Amarantha’s men walked in, looking at the way Rhys was holding onto me and smirked. _

_“Come to gloat?” he asked Rhys who had transformed from worried boyfriend to everything they expected of him. The smile he put on was terrifying as he slid an arm around my shoulder. _

_“Tamlin is still hiding. At least Lucien can relay the message.” He looked back at Lucien who did not have to pretend to be uncomfortable. “She’s ours now.”_

_Lucien muttered some choice insults before Rhys chuckled and guided me out of the room. _

I traced over the circle and sighed. Everyone now assumed something was going on between Rhys and I for him to have offered any kind of help. Once, the thought that anyone would believe I was sleeping with someone despite being ‘tied to’ another would have bothered me. But… Tamlin left me. Tamlin let Amarantha do whatever she wanted. She wanted Lucien to hurt to punish Tamlin, and he had done it. No regret. No pain in his eyes. Just a mindless, spineless bastard I couldn’t believe I’d come back for. But Lucien… He was worth coming back for. And Rhys- even if he was a prick who seemed to be enjoying the fact that everyone believed I was his.

The door being unlocked brought me from my thoughts. I got to my feet just as a guard grabbed me by the right arm and dragged me out.

Amarantha awaited me with Tamlin at her side, the two dressed rather similarly today. She was sitting down in what looked to be her office. Lucien’s mother was there, as was Rhys and men who looked like they could be Lucien’s brothers. The look on his mother’s face told me that I was right.

“Are you well?” Amarantha asked, toying with the ring on her finger.

“I’m fantastic.”

Amarantha laughed, waving someone over.

“I have another job for you,” she said as a safe was rolled into the room. I remember Tamlin having one of these, filled with rifles and a bag of money. The safe was set down and the man left, taking the truck dolly with him. “I need you to open that for me.”

When I didn’t speak, she smirked.

“I don’t have the combination, otherwise I wouldn’t need you.”

“And I’m supposed to just figure it out?”

At this, she laughed. “How about I give you some incentive.”

Lucien was brought into the room and forced to kneel beside the fireplace.

“You have three tries to get it right,” she said. “Every time you get it wrong, Lucien gets closer to adding another scar to that pretty face.”

I looked at Lucien who flinched when the fireplace was lit. I was shoved off the chair and forced to kneel before the safe.

“Three tries,” Amarantha reminded me before she ordered someone to bring her champagne.

I had never been that great at math, that was Nesta’s strong suit. But I knew the odds were stacked against me. There were so many combinations and I had nothing to work with. I found myself looking at Tamlin who was busy looking through his phone, as if his best friend wasn’t in any danger.

I turned the dial to the right, to Tamlin’s birthday month. Left for the day, then right once more for the year. Nothing. I breathed in sharply, looking to find Lucien being pushed closer to the fire. Frantically, I looked at the safe, trying to find something, anything to give me a clue as to what the right combination was. But it there was nothing.

“Hurry up,” Amarantha drawled. “Tam and I have places to be tonight. Don’t we love?”

I closed my eyes, getting as close as my left arm would allow. I turned it, listening until I heard a soft click. I opened my eyes to find it at the number 0. But of course, when I went to try again, everyone started shouting. Telling me which way to go, what number to try. I couldn’t hear anything at this rate. When I looked at Lucien there were tears in his eyes. If I failed…

The second try bore no results, either. I started crying at the sound that escaped Lucien’s lips as he was held further down. His mother was weeping, his brothers laughing and spewing insults. I looked at Rhys who was scratching his left forearm, the most uninterested look on his face. I had to remind myself that this was an act, that he cared.

“One last attempt, dear. Perhaps we’ll have you join Lucien, as well.” Amarantha sounded so pleased with herself.

Rhys undid the buttons of his sleeves and rolled up the right, and then the left. Again, he scratched at his left forearm, right over the tattoos- I forced myself to look at Tamlin, forced myself to breathe. I could figure this out. I pressed my forehead against the safe, my hair falling over my shoulders. I looked at my cast, at the little drawings they’d left there. If the first number was 0… 

0, for the circle. 10, for the mountain, and 30 for the stars. The safe unlocked and I sat back, practically panting. There was sweat on my brow. Lucien gasped for air as he was pulled away from the fire, his face red, his hair plastered to his temple.

“I wonder what’s inside,” Amarantha said, her voice cutting through the noise. “Why don’t you take a look, pet?”

The room went quiet as I reached for the handle and pulled open the door.

“Nothing?” I said quietly, my heart thundering in my chest.

“Come again?” Amarantha was smiling.

“Nothing? There was _nothing_ in here?” I staggered to my feet, my voice getting higher. “You put Lucien’s life at risk over nothing?”

“But is he worth anything?” Her amusement had me seeing read.

“You fucking bitch,” I spat, her amusement dying away.

“What did you say to me?”

“You heard me.” I spit on the floor. “You are a goddamn bitch. Worthless, piece of shit-”

Amarantha got to her feet and I stepped forward but was immediately held back.

“Rhysand, control your bitch before put her down,” she ordered and stormed out of the room, Tamlin following after her. It was Rhysand who held me back as Tamlin walked past me.

“Let me go!” I screamed, and he merely threw me over his shoulder and carried me in the opposite direction.

“So feisty,” Rhysand crooned, getting everyone’s attention. “Save that filthy mouth for the bedroom, darling.”

“Fuck you!”

Rhysand put a hand over my thigh and I went quiet. I could hear the other men in the room speaking vulgarities, even after Rhys opened a door and carried me out. He said nothing as he walked through the halls. I closed my eyes, sick of seeing nothing but the floor.

When he set me on my feet, I had every intention of screaming at him. But once the lights went on, I was at a loss for words.

“This isn’t my room.”

“No,” he said, closing the door. “It’s mine.”

“Why am I here?”

“Why do you think?”

Rhys began to undo the buttons of his shirt but stopped until the tattoos on his chest were peeking through. He mussed up his own hair and went to sit on his bed. He pat the space beside him.

“I know you’re upset, darling.”

“Upset? I could have killed him!”

He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. I noticed what looked to be like a bite mark on his chest and that prompted me to move. I sat down beside him and reached out to touch it. But Rhys stopped me, putting his hand over mine. He looked at me, the intensity in his eyes bringing me to blush.

“Don’t.”

“Who did that to you?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes,” I said, my voice quiet. “It does.”

“We all do things to protect our family, don’t we? This is no different.”

“Rhys…”

He let go of my hand and reached over, unbuttoning my shirt. I forgot how to breathe, how to speak.

“If I asked you to,” he said softly, reaching down to tug my shirt up from where I’d had it tucked into my jeans. “Would you stay here?”

“Here?”

“Until this was over.”

His room. He meant his room.

“Lucien-”

“Will sleep better knowing one of us was with you.”

“And if I say no?”

“Then I will walk you back to that room myself.”

“What will it mean for you?” I asked, placing my hand flat against his chest. I could feel his heart racing.

“Peace of mind.”

I let him take my shirt off, closed my eyes when he gently pulled the sleeve down over my cast.

“Thank you,” I said as he tossed my shirt aside. “For before.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be more concise.”

I let my hand fall away from his chest and reached back to untie my hair from the pony tail it had been in since the doctor had put on the cast. Rather, I tried and failed, and Rhys ended up doing it for me. It wasn’t until he started massaging my scalp that I realized how filthy my hair was.

“I like the left side of the bed,” I said with a sigh.

“Wouldn’t you know,” Rhys said with a grin. “I prefer the right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y'all are on tumblr, come find me! I'm Hellas-Himself there too. 
> 
> I am also living for Rhysand and Feyre's blossoming friendship.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's allusion to what Rhysand goes through with Amarantha. Just a forewarning. I still haven't found whether I wanna call them godfathers or dons but whatever. i'll let yall take your pic. Amren would be Rhysand's consigliere with Mor as his underboss. Az and Cassian his capos. but tbh with how rhys is with his inner circle, they're all pretty much his consigliere.

**Six Months Ago**

Rhys was still asleep, laying on his back and clutching a pillow to his chest. He’d teased and said he normally slept naked, but he didn’t want to ‘tempt me’ and wore sweatpants instead. I was wearing one of his shirts and briefs. My clothes were ash in the fireplace. I laughed softly to myself, trying to get out of bed quietly. He’d managed to get me a new tooth brush and other things he imagined I wanted.

Though it shook, I used my left hand to hold the tooth brush. I was so sick of this, but a few weeks more and I’d be free of it. I cursed when it fell into the sink and was both embarrassed and relieved when Rhys stepped into the bathroom.

“Allow me, darling,” he said, his voice still gravely from sleep. While he put toothpaste on the brush, I used my right hand to reach up and brush his hair away from his eyes. The small smile he gave me made me blush. Silently he offered to brush my teeth and I scowled, taking it from him. He chuckled, walking right over to the toilet and I panicked, forcing myself to look at the sink.

“As much as I would love to assist, I’m calling Nuala and Cerridwen to care for you while I’m not here,” he said. Like an ass, I turned to face him only to find him standing with his back to me. I groaned and looked at myself in the mirror. He flushed the toilet and walked over to where I stood, playfully bumping into me with his hip so he could wash his hands. He continued talking as if he didn’t just take a piss with me in the room, as if we did this every day. “I trust them… They’re allowed to come and go, so I insist that you use this to your advantage. But if you aren’t opposed to me giving you a bath this morning, I’ll risk it-”

I elbowed him which only made him laugh. I cleaned up the brush and rinsed my mouth, taking the towel he handed me.

“You can’t bathe me before Lucien does,” I teased, tossing the towel at him. He practically choked on air. “He’s wanted it longer than you have.”

*

We ate breakfast in amicable silence. It was more than amazing. I hadn’t eaten this well in far too long and I didn’t care that I wasn’t being ‘ladylike’. Rhys seemed amused by it, and actually encouraged me to eat more.

Nuala and Cerridwen arrived with two bags each and set them on the dresser. I remembered them from the gallery. After warm hellos, the two began to pull clothes out of the bags and hung them up in the closet next to Rhysand’s minimal black wardrobe.

“So… where are you going?” I asked quietly.

“I have to… Run some errands for a very demanding woman.”

“What kind of errands?”

Rhysand’s smile faded at this and I wished I hadn’t asked.

“I’m sorry.”

He looked at me, perplexed.

“Do not apologize, Feyre…” He sighed. “But to be honest, if I told you what I had to do… You’d hate me. And I would like to hold onto this illusion a little longer.”

“Illusion?”

Was he… blushing?

“Rhys… I don’t think I could ever hate you.”

His expression softened. “Darling… I want so much to believe that.”

“Ms. Archeron,” Nuala called, bringing us to look away from one another. “Your bath is ready.”

Rhys drank up the last of his coffee and got to his feet.

“That is my cue to leave.”

“Like that?”

He was still in nothing but sweatpants. He didn’t answer my question. Instead, he walked over to the twins and gave them a quick kiss on the cheek before he approached me. He helped me to stand and then placed his hands on my hips.

“Do not hesitate to ask for anything, darling.”

For a moment, I thought he would kiss me, but he let me go and left the room.

*

After my bath, Nuala combed my freshly washed hair and helped me get dressed while Cerridwen showed me the different clothes Rhys had asked for. I settled on a loose shirt and leggings. But the twins didn’t tell me where he went, and would manage to change the subject every time I asked. Several hours later, Cerridwen left to bring him clothes and shoes. When she came back, she was a bit forlorn.

The twins didn’t leave until dinner. We’d talked all day about books and clothes. Nothing too personal, but enough to give a semblance of normalcy. But once they were gone, I was alone again.

Rhys didn’t come back that night. Or the next day. Or the next. Every time the door opened, I was happy to see the twins, but there was a sick feeling in my gut that something was wrong. They brought me more things, like perfume and dresses meant for nights out on the town. The kind of dresses I used to wear to get a rise out of Tamlin and Lucien.

The twins added designs to my cast as they talked about how they planned on dressing me for some upcoming party. I let them chat away, content to have something to think about other than the fact that Rhys still hadn’t come back. That I didn’t know where Lucien was or if he was alright.

But, it turned out, the upcoming party was this very night. Even with the stupid cast, they dressed me in a form fitting black dress that left nothing to the imagination. Black heels that I walked around the room in before Cerridwen had me sit so she could do my hair. Nuala did my make-up.

Around 9:30, a knock came to the door and in came Rhysand. He looked as though he was going to say something until he saw me.

“Where have you been?” I asked as he said, “Holy shit, Feyre.”

We both looked at one another sheepishly. He closed the door and immediately thanked the twins before he made his way to me. The heels let me stand eye to eye with him which was a bit unnerving given the way he was looking at me.

“You were saying?” he asked once he was standing close enough that I could see the dark circles under his eyes. A new mark on his neck.

“It’s good to see you,” I said instead. He looked grateful and held out his arm to me.

“Shall we?”

*

Amarantha was throwing a rave, it seemed. Everyone seemed already drunk or getting there, high off their asses. The only two not dancing were Tamlin and Amarantha who sat at the very far end of the great hall we were in. Rhys gave me a grin before he guided me towards them. Amarantha looked me up and down and smiled.

“My, my. Just a few nights with Rhysand and you’re glowing. I hope you didn’t mind that I kept him away from you,” she said, eyeing him in a way that made me want to shove the heel of my shoes into her eyes.

“I didn’t mind at all,” I said, doing my best to mimic Lucien and Rhysand’s confidence. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

Rhys chuckled and leaned over to kiss my cheek. Then, he gave Amarantha a nod of the head before he guided me towards the dance floor. I was blushing furiously, thinking that he’d make me dance but instead, he sat me down at one of the tables. Rather, he sat down and offered me his lap. Feeling as though I would internally combust, I let him pull me down onto him. He leaned in to whisper, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

“I didn’t want to bring you here,” he said, giving me goosebumps. “But… If you’re here with me, I don’t have to worry about anyone trying to harm you tonight.”

“Would they? Try to hurt me, I mean?”

He moved back to look at me.

“I won’t take the chance.”

**The Present **

“What did you do?” Az asked as I went to sit with Cassian on one of the sofas.

“Yeah, Feyre, what did you do?” Cassian teased and I smacked his arm. He only laughed.

“Remember that darling gallery he used as a front?” Rhys said and I nodded. “The feds caught wind and busted the entire operation.”

“It can’t be traced back to him,” Az continued. “But he’s lost business with arms dealers who have decided to move on to more trustworthy clientele.”

“Tell her about the estate,” Mor whispered loudly.

What happened?”

“He’s been abandoned by everyone. Even Bronn and Hart have taken off. Hybern is not loved nor is he respected by anyone who remembers what he had done long before Tamlin was old enough to take his father’s place.”

I blushed, looking over at Lucien who was chuckling.

“I didn’t do anything,” I said defensively. “It’s not my fault Tamlin reacted how he did.”

And just like that, the mood shifted. No one was smiling anymore. No one was laughing.

I settled into Cassian’s embrace as Lucien recounted the last few weeks with Tamlin. He was red in the face as he mentioned Ianthe’s advances, moments I had not been privy to. But I couldn’t be angry with him, only at myself. I should’ve killed her. Rhys was showering Lucien with affection while he spoke, not even Amren teased them as she would in any other circumstance. And by the look in her grey eyes, I knew Amren would bleed Ianthe dry.

I was blushing the entire time I spoke of those nights leading up to our escape- I couldn’t call it anything else. Despite my relief at being home, at being safe, I felt ashamed that Tamlin and Ianthe were able to do so much harm. I’d survived three months of utter hell before I killed Amarantha, and Tamlin was still able to terrify me. And then the twins… Brannagh and Dagdan had managed to give us small doses of synthetic drugs, and it was luck that we hadn’t suffered worse.

“They could’ve killed you both,” Az said quietly.

“They’re going to regret not getting the job done,” I said with more strength than I felt. Cassian held me a little closer.

Rhys nodded but I knew he wasn’t entirely here with us. His mind was elsewhere, and I knew no matter where Brannagh and Dagdan went, Rhys would find them somehow. I shuddered to think of how that would end.

“We need to let the others know what they’re planning,” Lucien said, bringing Rhys from his thoughts.

“I’m going to reach out to Tarquin,” he said with a sigh before looking at his cousin. He didn’t have to say it, Mor knew what he wanted from her.

“If Helion hits on me, you’re buying me a new car,” she said as she rose to her feet. Rhys managed a smirk before Mor left the room.

“If Eris is working with Tamlin, can we assume the same of Beron?” Azriel asked. Not because he cared about their wellbeing, but because they were closest to Tarquin and Kallias’s territories and that could prove disastrous.

“We can’t,” Rhys said, running his free hand through his hair.

“How do we handle this, then?”

Rhys looked at Lucien before moving his arm from behind him to hold his hand.

“So as long as Luce is alright with it, we reach out to them.”

“And act like his sons didn’t try to harm Feyre?” Cassian asked. Rhys glared at Cassian.

“We can’t have Beron Vanserra working with Hybern, and you know it.”

“Then let Az and I do you a favor and get rid of them.”

“That’s Mor’s decision,” Az reminded him.

“Why are we still playing by the rules? Everyone has broken them and fucked us over, Rhys.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

I tapped Cassian’s arm and he let me go so I could sit upright. He kept an arm around my waist while I took his other hand in mine.

“No one’s pretending. And we’re not playing by anyone’s rules but ours.”

Cassian’s expression softened and I kissed his cheek before mussing up his hair. Then I brought my attentions to everyone else.

“All I have ever wanted was what you gave me. Family. Home. And that is enough for me- it’s more than enough for me. But the night I killed Amarantha, I should have been given everything that was hers.”

A devil’s grin was blossoming on Rhysand’s face.

“All seven godfathers of Prythian have no choice but to sit down and listen to me. I want what’s mine and it’s about goddamn time they deliver.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More allusion to Amarantha's abuse of Rhys. More deviation from canon to make sense with what I'm doing. Check the notes at the bottom for a list of surnames I've given our boys. Just so it's easier.

**The Present **

Thesan Ðặng’s mansion was more like a damn palace. I’d never seen anything like it before. And once we were inside, the black gown Rhys had given me no longer seemed too much for this occasion. Everyone was showing out it seemed. We weren’t allowed weapons for this meeting, but only a fool would think no one came prepared should things went south. s

Thesan had arranged the seating wisely. Viviane and Mor got to sit together, the pair reminding me of July 4th with Viv in blue and Mor in red.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve gathered like this,” Thesan began. “I’m certain we don’t need to go about presenting ourselves, do we?” Everyone laughed, except Beron. “We know who we are, and we are all here.”

Except Tamlin. But I didn’t care. I didn’t need him for what I wanted. His opinion was worthless- he had done nothing that night. The only ones who did were sitting on either side of me, holding my hands. Pleasantries were exchanged, compliments and other niceties until Beron opened his mouth.

“Let’s get to the point,” he said. “I am expected to believe Royce Hybern is going to try to take over all of Prythian?”

“No, you’re not expected to believe anything. But the least you could do is listen,” I said. “You are sitting here with your wife and son thanks to me.”

“So you shot the bitch dead, so what?”

“Perhaps she should’ve put a bullet between your eyes as well,” Helion drawled. “Then you might finally gain some common sense.”

“You son of a-”

“Enough,” Rhys ordered and Helion merely grinned. He knew who Rhys was truly speaking to.

“Amarantha had us on leashes for years until Feyre came along. If you don’t wish to honor that, fine. But shut the fuck up and let her talk.”

I gave his hand a squeeze.

“She isn’t one of us,” Eris said and Beron glared at him.

“Neither are you,” I reminded, letting go of Rhys and Lucien’s hands. I folded my hands on the table. “Well, you’re here as a courtesy. A courtesy extended to all of you. I have my people, you have yours.

“Before Amarantha betrayed you all, she had territory of her own. She even had her foot in politics, which I’m truly not interested in but if we’re doing this, might as well go all the way, right?”

I wasn’t surprised when Cassian, Rhys and Helion laughed.

“And what, pray tell, are we doing?” Beron asked.

“It’s come to my attention that before Amarantha’s body was dumped in the ground, some of you went ahead and staked claim on her properties. Her businesses, both legal and illegal. Which would be fine if it wasn’t mine. And I don’t think any of you asked me.”

“Forgive me,” Helion said, a hand over his heart. “But Tamlin had allowed us to do so.”

I smiled.

“Just because you left him to warm Rhysand’s bed does not mean we owe you anything,” Beron spat.

“Tamlin does not own me. He has no right to speak for me, no one does.”

“Would you be willing to discuss a trade deal, or a perhaps a partnership of sorts?” Thesan asked me, leaving Beron rather taken aback.

“If that’s possible, count me in,” Helion declared, as if he and I hadn’t already come to an agreement.

“I second that,” Tarquin said, placing his hopeful gaze on Rhys. Kallias and Viv added their voices as well.

“Of course, I’m willing. I’m quite certain we can come to an agreement we can benefit from.”

“And what of Rhysand, then?” Beron asked.

“What about me, Vanserra?”

“It’s far too convenient. We all know you’re with her.”

“And?”

“Don’t toy with him, my love,” Lucien said with a sigh. “He suffers from hypertension. The last thing we need is to plan a funeral.”

Beron fixed his ugly scowl on Lucien and I was already preparing myself to defend him. But Rhys didn’t even let the man speak.

“I don’t have to kill you to hurt you,” Rhysand warned. “If you utter one insult to Lucien, you will leave this place without your tongue.”

Thesan looked over at Rhys, his expression reminding me of an exasperated father.

“I’m sorry… but surely you understand.”

Thesan merely nodded, his husband glaring daggers at Beron.

“I will not tolerate that abuse,” Thesan said softly. “I am not above looking the other way should you prove unwilling to cooperate.”

“And I’m supposed to ally with you all?”

“By the truce we swore to uphold, yes,” Kallias said. “You are. But no one is obligating you. No matter whose side you’re on, you and your sons will answer for what you’ve done. You might have forgotten our ways, but I have not.”

Beron rose to his feet, but Eris and Aurelie remained seated.

“I am older than all of you, I have been in this game for far too long. I will not sit here and be spoken to this way!”

“Go on then,” Rhys said with a wave. “When you find yourself at Hybern’s mercy, I do hope you’re able to fend for yourself.”

Beron looked down when Eris loudly whispered for him to sit. When he did sit down, a soft knock came at the doors and Thesan allowed them come in. Tamlin entered the room, his face in a scowl. Everyone seemed on edge as a chair was brought in for him.

“Does Royce Hybern know you’re here?” Helion asked.

“No he does not, Singh.”

“I know you were only invited as a courtesy as the lovely Ms. Archeron said. But if you think any of us will discuss Hybern with you here, you’re out of your damn mind.”

“Courtesy, huh?” Tamlin looked my way, then at Rhys. He chuckled. “Look, I want to get rid of Hybern just as much as you.”

“That’s funny,” Lucien said. “You’ve been kissing Royce’s ass for months. You were the one who sought him out, trying to get Feyre back.”

“Who the fuck are you to say anything to me after what you’ve done? You run off with my girlfriend after everything I’ve done for you!”

“I don’t owe you a goddamn thing, Moran.”

“It’s not enough that you’re fucking Feyre. But Rhysand too? You’re disgusting.”

“Shut up,” I said and Tamlin looked at me. “Don’t you fucking talk to him like that.”

“The Feyre I know isn’t like this,” he growled out, looking from Rhys to Lucien. I wanted to claw his eyes out when he looked at me again. “How’s it feel Feyre, fucking two men at the same time?”

“It’s amazing, actually, thank you for asking,” I replied, and I heard Azriel cough. Helion and Cassian were howling. Even Eris was trying not to laugh. Poor Kallias was red in the face despite Viviane’s sheer amusement.

“Rhysand went against our ways. He took her from me-”

“I’m right here, Moran. We can settle this problem outside, just like old times.”

“No one took anyone from you,” Mor said with disgust. “She doesn’t belong to you, she never did.”

“Even if you don’t like it, Tamlin, Feyre is one of us. You brought her into our world and you know we won’t honor your claims,” Tarquin softly said. “Feyre earned her place with us.”

“So we’re all trusting some upstart nobody and Amarantha’s whore?”

I was pulling the pin out of my hair and flinging it at Tamlin before I could think. It hit the wall behind him, imbedded in the wood panel. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. I pulled the second one from my hair, and it fell in loose waves. I put the pin in Lucien’s hand before I got to my feet. Tamlin flinched. I placed both hands on the table and looked him in the eye.

“I missed on purpose. You call him that one more time and they’re going to have to cut your skull open to pull out the second one.” Then I turned to Thesan. “I’ll pay for that, I promise.”

Thesan simply sighed, reminding me so much of Azriel I looked over to find him smiling. I sat down, bringing my attention back on Tamlin.

“No matter what I think of you, my family’s wellbeing comes first. If you’re going to help us, be my guest. If you’re not, you better start sleeping with one eye open.”

*

**Six Months Ago**

Every night was the same. The twins would get me dressed, do my hair and doll me up just in time for Rhysand to come for me. He kept me at his side every night, even after Lucien was well enough to be present. 

“Will this make you fight?” I whispered to Rhys. He had an arm around my waist and the other nursing a glass of vodka. Lucien was sitting near his mother, watching us.

“He understands,” Rhys whispered, his breath on my neck making me shiver. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Darling,” Rhys said, loosening his hold on me so that he could look at me. He brushed his fingers over my arm brace. “We all have our roles to play. We have ours, and he has his.”

“I just… I don’t want to be the reason why he’s unhappy.”

Rhys set his glass down, bringing his hands to either side of my face.

“I wish it were that simple.”

I looked at Lucien once more before standing up and reaching for Rhysand’s glass. I drank it down before Rhys managed to snatch it from my hands. “Dammit, Feyre,” Rhys hissed. “There’s a reason I don’t touch anything they give me.”

“Am I going to die?” I asked.

“What? No! But… If you start to feel off, I’ll carry you to bed.”

Realization dawned on me and sat on his lap and put my arms around his neck, ignoring how sore my left arm still was. I leaned in and whispered in his ear.

“I’m going to kill her, Rhys. I promise you.”

Rhys seemed hesitant before he wrapped his arms around me.

*

I was staring at the bathroom door. Rhys was in the shower, he had been for much longer than usual. I had tried to tease him about it but when I heard him sniffle, I didn’t believe his piss poor excuse. He had told me he would be right out but here I was. Still waiting.

When I heard the water stop, I sat up in bed, adjusting the shirt Rhys had lent me. I sat there in the dark until Rhys stepped out in his pajamas.

“Darling, you’re awake.”

“It seems no one wanted to drug you tonight.”

“Wonderful… the bathroom’s all yours.”

“That’s not why I’m awake.”

Rhys walked over and climbed on his side of the bed. He got under the covers as I turned completely to face him.

“Rhys?”

“Yes, darling?” He had his back to me. I wanted to reach out and just… put my hand on his shoulder. Something other than words. But I didn’t know what was safe for him.

“Can I hold you?”

Rhys moved so that he was looking at me.

“What?”

“I don’t… I don’t want to do something you aren’t okay with.”

Rhys looked truly perplexed, until at long last, he nodded. I wasn’t sure how to go about it, but Rhys got up and made his way to me. I knelt in front of him and even as I sat completely straight, he was taller than me. I put my hands on his shoulders, looking at him in the eyes again.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” I whispered and once he nodded again, I brought my arms around his neck and held him against my chest. I knew he wasn’t going to cry. Not here. But I knew in the way he clung to me, that he was in agony. I ran my fingers through his hair and found myself in tears. I tried to hold it in, this wasn’t about me. But Rhys noticed the way my breathing changed and just held me a little tighter.

I don’t know how long we stayed that way, but I felt the tension leave him. Heard him sigh. I kept playing with his hair, even as he no longer clung to me for dear life. His hands moved up and down my back, and it was so soothing. I brought one hand to the nape of his neck and tugged gently, using my other hand to touch his face. I bade him look at me and when he did, there was something in his eyes that left me breathless.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“You’re very welcome,” I whispered back. He kept one hand on the small of my back as he brought the other to the space between my neck and shoulder.

“I am very glad to have met you.”

I smiled. “I am very glad to have met _you_, Rhys.”

The bedroom door opened and we both froze. I was terrified to turn and look, but I didn’t have to wonder long.

“Luce,” Rhys said, surprised. “You’re here.”

“I thought- I don’t know what I thought. But I was so stupid,” Lucien said and I pried myself from Rhysand’s hold.

“Stay here,” I said to him before I slid off the bed and ran after Lucien. “Lucien!”

“Go back to bed,” he growled out. “Don’t want to keep him waiting.”

“Will you stop walking?” I grabbed his arm when I caught up to him but he shrugged me off.

“I was a fool to think we could work this out, but god, Feyre… You? How could you?”

“How could I what?” I asked, getting in his face. “Stop your boyfriend from having a breakdown?”

“Sure, Feyre. You two are all anyone talk about- and I saw you! I dare you to tell me what I saw tonight wasn’t what it looked like. Look at what you’re wearing, for fuck’s sake.”

I wanted to shake him but I settled for putting my right hand on his chest, and pushing until he hit the wall.

“You are so blind, Lucien,” I hissed. “I came back here for you. I came back here so you and him could have a future together. Because you mean the world to me. I know what it looks like, and it’s killing me. It’s killing me, Lucien because it should be you.”

“Feyre… What are you saying?”

I twisted his shirt in my hand and pulled down as I got on my tip toes and kissed him.

“My heart is yours, you fucking prick,” I whispered before kissing him again. “Yours and… I think it could be his, too.”

Lucien gently pushed me away, disbelief written all over his face.

“I’m sorry,” I said, taking another step back. “I’ll… I’ll go back. I’ll tell him where to find you. And don’t worry, I’ll tell him what I did- It’s my fault.”

I hurried back the way I came, practically sobbing when I saw Rhysand’s bedroom door. He was just as I’d left him but the second he saw me, he rushed to my side. He didn’t ask what was wrong, he didn’t try to find out what happened. He merely held me against him, even as the door closed behind me.

“Rhys…,” Lucien said, his voice trembling. “I think we need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the list copied straight from my tumblr post because i'm lazy:
> 
> Thesan Ðặng - that last name is a nod to a friend of mine whose name is very similar to Thesan’s (and tbh their physical description is kinda similar)   
Helion Singh because I mean. Obvi   
Tamlin Moran, he can choke  
Tarquin Akinloye- a Yoruban surname that seemed to fit our cutie boy  
Rhysand del Valle- because if we’re doing this, I'm giving Rhys the most extra ass last name I can think of that isn’t rodriguez (its a family name so it just felt weird using that in a fic lol)   
Kallias Argyris- because Kallias is a greek name and it seemed to fit.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're all caught up to tumblr. I update every Monday (as long as life allows) on tumblr so now I'll do the same here. 
> 
> This was LONG so I decided to keep it within the past and next week we'll go back to using two timeframes of past and present. There's some violence-ish at the end.

**Six Months Ago**

“Lock the door,” Rhys said quietly. Then he let me go, taking me by the chin so I could look at him. “Shall we sit?”

I could only nod. I let him guide me back to the bed where I sat down, but he remained standing. Rhys crossed his arms and looked at Lucien who had not moved away from the door.

“You think I’m cheating on you with Feyre,” Rhys said. It wasn’t a question.

“Rhys…”

“Don’t be mad at him,” I found myself saying to Rhys. “I… I kissed him. Be mad at _me_.”

Rhys looked down at me and I couldn’t tell if he was angry or if he was surprised. I wondered if he even believed me.

“I’m sorry,” Lucien said. “It’s just harder to pretend when we’re all under one roof. And seeing you with her… I’m torn. I’m jealous, I’m tired of having to hide and yet, I’m angry that you’re able to make her smile. That you get to be with her when she’s…”

Lucien stopped.

“When she’s what?” Rhys asked.

Lucien met my gaze. I had never seen him look so vulnerable before and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and comfort him. He looked away and addressed Rhys once more.

“I love you,” Lucien said. “But Feyre… I’ve grown rather fond of her.”

“Do you love her?” Rhys asked, his tone giving nothing away.

“I… I’m not sure.”

Rhys sighed and finally uncrossed his arms. He ran his fingers through his hair.

“I can’t be mad at you, Feyre,” he said to me at last. “You two have been friends for some time… And we- Lucien, you and I have been apart for far too long.”

“What are you saying?” Lucien asked, breathless.

“That it’s alright… If you are able to find happiness, don’t walk away from it.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Lucien sounded mortified.

“What? No… No.”

“Can I say something?” I asked and both men looked my way.

“Of course, darling. You never need to ask,” Rhys said.

I felt my cheeks burning and began to tug on the hem of my shirt.

“It’s not just Lucien,” I admitted. “I don’t know what this is… But I think I could love you, Rhys. The way I love Lucien. I wouldn’t have survived here without you, but it isn’t only gratitude that I feel.”

The disbelief in his expression broke me. So I rose to my feet and closed what little space there was between us to embrace him.

“Feyre… I don’t know if I can give you what he can,” Rhys whispered to me. “I…”

“That’s not even- Rhys,” I pulled away to look at him. “That’s not important to me. You give me so much of yourself, I don’t need anything more.”

Lucien at last made his way towards us. He embraced Rhys and trapped me between them.

“I can get used to this,” I said, bringing them both to laugh.

“So, you’re not leaving me,” Lucien whispered.

“No, fox… Never. I will never leave you,” Rhys whispered back. “Nor you, Feyre, darling.”

I kissed Lucien after he and Rhys kissed goodnight. I watched him hurry off to his room before I shut the door. Rhys was already in bed, but he wasn’t asleep. I went to my side of the bed and was surprised when Rhys rolled onto his side and held out his hand. And that was how we lay, facing one another and holding hands until we drifted off to sleep.

*

I wore the most revealing dress I’d ever worn in my life. It was a gown of black gossamer, showing off the lace lingerie beneath. My hair was down and Rhys had given me a necklace so gaudy I would have never worn it if it had not come from him. I looked… oddly regal. I was completely on display, but standing in the mirror with Rhys at my side, I didn’t mind it. I also didn’t mind Rhysand’s compliments, either, nor the way he whispered them to me as we walked arm in arm towards the party.

Everyone was dressed to the nines, even Amarantha looked like a proper queen sitting with Tamlin. The bitch even had a tiara on.

“Is this someone’s sweet sixteen?” I whispered to Rhys who chuckled.

“I haven’t the slightest idea.”

We saw Lucien with his mother and I wanted nothing more than to run to him. But we approached Amarantha and Tamlin, paid our respects though I knew he was cursing her in his mind as I was.

“No subtlety tonight,” Amarantha said as she looked me up and down. “Rhysand, your pet looks good enough to eat.”

For the first time in months, Tamlin’s eyes revealed an emotion. Anger.

“Doesn’t she?” Rhys drawled. I laughed, the kind of laugh the wives of all the bosses laughed. Fake and forced.

“And that necklace, wherever did you get it?” she asked.

“Oh, this old thing?” He brushed his fingers across my chest before he took the pendant in his hand. “I can’t recall… It could have been my mother’s. Or my father’s mother. I don’t know.”

Amarantha merely raised a brow, visibly upset.

“Tamlin, won’t you tell them why we’re celebrating tonight?”

It took him a moment to speak but when he did, I held onto Rhysand’s arm a little tighter.

“Tomorrow is your last task.”

“This is my farewell party to you, dear. So enjoy it while you can.”

“Thank you,” I managed to say, my voice stronger than I felt.

The night went on as it always did. Rhys and I danced. We didn’t drink or take whatever was being passed around the dancefloor. But for once, Tamlin approached us.

“I need to talk to you,” Tamlin said to me but continued on, storming out of the ballroom.

“What the fuck?” I looked at Rhys who shrugged.

“It’s up to you.”

“What? After all this time, now he wants to talk to me?”

Rhys leaned in and whispered to me, “Amarantha is occupied. See what he wants.”

“What if this is what she wants?”

“I’ll come find you.”

I sighed and look over at Lucien.

“Five minutes.”

Rhys gave me a small smile before I took my leave.

The hallways were dark when I stepped outside but I saw Tamlin leaning on the wall, waiting. Wordlessly, he had me follow him. We didn’t go too far, I could still hear the music playing.

“What is it-” I began to say but Tamlin pushed me against the wall and brought his mouth to mine. I brought my hands to his chest and pushed, but he wouldn’t relent. I bit his lip and he practically snarled at me.

”What the fuck?”

“What are you doing? Trying to get us killed?”

“Tomorrow won’t be anything like before. And I can’t… Feyre, I’ve missed you.”

“Would you be trying to fuck me in some dark hallway if tomorrow was nothing more than another day?”

“Yes,” he said, not truly meeting my gaze as he pinned me against the wall again. My left arm was throbbing and I wanted smack him. “Yes, because I can’t take it anymore. Seeing him parade you around like if you belong to him.”

Tamlin kissed me again but I refused to move. Refused to return it. I kept my hands on his chest, hating that I wasn’t strong enough to get him off of me.

I gasped when Tamlin was forcefully pulled away from me.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Rhys shouted. “Don’t you see how uncomfortable she is? She’s risking her ass for you, and where’s your mind?”

“Fuck you. She’s _my_ girlfriend!”

I placed my hand over my heart, trying to calm down my wildly beating heart.

“And if you wish for that to remain true, go back and crawl to Amarantha. Go do nothing as you’ve done for the last three months.”

“Nothing? Nothing! Should I be fucking Amarantha too?”

“Tamlin!”

He looked at me as though I’d slapped him.

“Go back, Tamlin,” Rhys said far too calmly. “Amarantha is already looking for you.”

Tamlin stepped back, looking at me before he looked down the hall. He said nothing more before he hurried back to the party. When Rhys sighed, he turned to face me. I couldn’t move from where I was and Rhys closed the space between us. He put one hand beside me, supporting him as he brought the other to cup my cheek.

“Did he hurt you?” he asked me. I shook my head. “Are you sure?”

“Yes… I just… Three months and that’s all he wanted. Because he’s jealous, not even because he loves me. But because he’s jealous.”

“I am so, so sorry. I… I don’t know why I believed he would be of any help, that he would tell you what she has planned.”

“It’s not your fault, Rhys.”

He looked at me tenderly, bringing his hand to my neck and brushing his thumb across my skin.

I looked up into his eyes and let out a sigh.

“I wish it was you,” I said. “You, not him.”

Rhys smirked. “I would never have broken into your home in the dead of night, my darling. I have class.”

I laughed and brought my hand over his heart.

“All the same,” I said. “At least after tomorrow… I won’t have to wish. Will I?”

“No.”

His hand trailed down from my neck and he brushed his fingers down the space between my breasts and all the skin revealed by the deep plunge of the dress. I breathed in sharply.

“Too much?” he asked and I shook my head.

“Don’t stop,” I whispered. “I trust you.”

Rhysand’s hand came to rest on my hip as he leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. I brought my arms around his neck as he kissed me truly, and I eagerly returned it. His lips were soft and that scent of citrus and sea was intoxicating. I twined my fingers in his hair with one hand while the other roamed down his chest. He brought a hand to the nape of my neck and tugged enough to expose my neck to him. I hadn’t felt want like this in months, and the only thing that could make this better was if Lucien was here with us.

“Rhys,” I managed to say.

“Hm?”

“Bedroom?”

He chuckled, nipping at my neck.

“Yes, perhaps-”

We both froze as someone cleared their throat. Amarantha stood there, her arm in Tamlin’s.

“I was wondering where you’d gone off to…” she said with a sniff. “See, Tamlin. She’s not worth it.”

“No,” he growled out. “She’s not.”

*

“Feyre-”

I quickly wiped at my eyes.

“I’m fine.”

Rhys stood beside me, brushing my hand with his.

“I went too far,” he said softly. I shook my head.

“No… No, you didn’t. Nothing excuses how he talks to me. I’m so stupid, Rhys,” I cried. Tears blurred my vision. “How could I have ever fallen for him? He’s… he’s…”

Rhys gently pulled me into his arms.

“He is undeserving of your love. Of your loyalty. But that does not make you stupid. You’re impulsive,” he said and I knew he was smiling. “But stupid? Never that.”

“All this time, he didn’t care…”

Rhys kissed the top of my head. I breathed in and let it out.

“Rhys… If I can’t- if I fail…”

“Hush. None of that.”

“But-”

He took me by the chin and brought me to look at him.

“You will not fail. You are not alone, darling,” he said softly. “No matter what happens tomorrow, I am walking out of here with you and Lucien.”

I kissed him. Rhys made me feel hope. Made me feel like I could do anything I wanted.

Rhys pinned me against the dresser and bottles of perfume and cologne rattled behind me. This caused us to stop for air and I stepped out of my heels, kicking them away. I reached behind me, looking for the satin buttons.

“Feyre?”

“We don’t have to do anything,” I breathed out. “But… I want- I need to be close to you.”

Rhys brought an arm around me, putting his hand over mine.

“May I?” he asked and I nodded, turning around. He carefully brought my hair over my shoulder and caressed my bare back before he got to work on the buttons. He pressed kisses to my shoulder as he pulled the dress down. When it pooled at my feet, I turned around to face him.

“Exquisite,” he said as he took me in. “Absolutely divine.”

I giggled, feeling myself blush. My blush only deepened as Rhys undid the buttons of his shirt and did away with it. I admired his tattoos as he unbuckled his belt and soon enough, he was standing in nothing but his briefs. Then we were kissing again, moving until the back of my legs hit the bed.

I moved to the middle of the bed and held my hand out to Rhys. He hovered above me and by the look in his eyes, I knew he wasn’t comfortable.

“Do you want to lay down?” I asked him softly and he looked at me surprised before he nodded. Once he was on his back, I curled up beside him and threw my leg over his. He wrapped an arm around me and the kiss we shared then was slow, as if we had all the time in the world.

But we didn’t have that kind of time.

The following morning, I was led from Rhysand’s room to Amarantha’s ballroom. I hadn’t seen him since last night, when we’d fallen asleep. But he was in the room, standing near Amarantha. Everyone was present, watching me. Everyone but Lucien. I didn’t see him anywhere. Tamlin was back to his usual stone-faced demeanor which I was glad for.

“At long last,” Amarantha said. “We get to put this behind us.”

I was made to stand in the center of the room as two hooded figures were led to me. They were bound by their hands. I felt dread sneaking up on me as they were forced to kneel. Another guard approached me with a black case.

“Go on, open it,” Amarantha said with a smile.

I already knew what it was. I knew what she was going to ask. But my hands shook as I undid the latches. I opened the case and it was as though the room collectively held its breath.

“Get rid of them,” Amarantha ordered. “Then you can take Tamlin and all these other ungrateful bastards with you.”

When I hesitated, Amarantha waved someone over and they pulled a gun out on Tamlin. He remained still, unmoved.

“Do it, or he dies.”

I pulled the gun out of the case and the guard closed it and walked away. I tried to calm myself down as I held out the gun. The two people before me were weeping, begging for their lives.

“The second that gun points my way, Tamlin dies.”

There were tears in my eyes as I pointed it at the first person, a man by the looks of it. I closed my eyes tight as I pulled the trigger, the sound shaking me to my core. The woman screamed, and I stepped back looking at what I’d done. I looked up at Tamlin who was in tears. _For you,_ I thought to myself. _I’m doing this for you. _

The woman scrambled around the floor until she found the man’s body and she wailed.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, pointing the gun to her head. “I’m so sorry.”

After the second gunshot, the room went silent. A wave of nausea hit me as I saw the gore on the wood floor. Everyone was on edge, expectant- but Amarantha merely laughed.

“One more. One more, and you’re all free to go.”

Lucien’s mother screamed when she saw him being dragged into the room. He’d taken a hit to the jaw, and that had not deterred him from trying to get away. I stepped back as he was shoved to his knees before me.

“No…”

“Kill him. Or Tamlin dies.”

“Feyre,” Lucien said softly. “It’s alright… it’s alright.”

“No… no, it isn’t! It isn’t!”

Tamlin was forced to his feet, the gun pressed against his temple. Lucien’s mother was begging to take his place instead. Everyone around us was shouting- this was not part of the deal. With Amarantha spewing her threats, I let myself look at Rhys. My peace through all of this. I could do this, I could get us out of here- Rhys bowed his head, as though answering a question I hadn’t asked. Had not needed to ask.

And I aimed my gun at Amarantha and pulled the trigger.

When she screamed, I pulled the trigger again. Tamlin tackled the guard to the ground, breaking the table where her decanters of wine shattered. I heard gun shots, and Lucien pulled me down to the floor with him. Amarantha’s guards were trying to control the other bosses and their loyal capos, even some of Amarantha’s own joined in the fray and bodies began to fall.

Rhys pulled a gun out and shot down the guards one by one. I screamed when he took a bullet to the shoulder and tried to run to him, but a bullet grazed my arm. My eyes widened when Rhys screamed my name and I ducked- just as Rhys shot the guard behind me.

“I’m going to skin that bitch alive, Rhysand,” Amarantha seethed. “And you’ll kneel in her blood-”

“Shut _up_,” I growled out. I kept the gun aimed between her eyes. I’d gotten her once in the shin and once below her collar bone. She would bleed out if I let her, but I wasn’t going to take that chance.

“You worthless bitch,” she hissed. “Did you really believe I would ever let you go? All of you are nothing without me!”

“I may be worthless,” I said, my voice shaken. “But I’m not the one dying today.”

Amarantha laughed and I shot her again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is feyrhycien but the Feysand portion of this was just... it killed me. I am also obsessed with how protective Feyre is of rhys AND Lucien.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to go by the book, but there are things that don’t pan out. Everyone is obviously not 500 years old. I had to play around with ages and timelines and I hope this makes sense. (I'm literally copy and pasting my notes here because it's a lot)

**Six Months Ago**

I opened my eyes. I didn’t know where I was and I sat up too fast, making my head spin. My arm stung and I touched it, realizing someone had bandaged it. I flinched when I heard my name.

“Tamlin?” I looked to find him sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. He swiftly made his way towards me. Where was Lucien? Where was Rhys? “What are you doing here? Where am I?”

“You passed out. I had you brought here so the doctor could stitch your arm.”

“Where’s Lucien?”

Tamlin sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“With his mother. She got hurt.”

Tears began to well in my eyes, more so when Tamlin put his hand on my cheek. I wanted to crawl out of my skin.

“Feyre… Baby, I’m so sorry. But we’re home now. We’re free.”

“What?”

I breathed in sharply and scrambled out of bed. Tamlin was saying my name, trying to get me to come back. But I opened the door and when I saw where I was, when I realized I’d been taken here against my will, I fell to my knees.

“I’m going to get you out of that bargain with Rhysand,” Tamlin said and I felt him kneel beside me. “The bastard tried to take you. I won’t let him lay a hand on you again.”

“He was only helping me, Tam… He didn’t hurt me.”

“He made you… When I saw you together, I wanted to kill him.”

“Why? You _left me_,” I hissed and finally looked at him. “You left me, Tamlin and I still went back for you.”

“I made a mistake, Feyre. But I love you and I’m trying to put this aside.”

“Put what aside?”

“Do you know how much it hurt to see you in the arms of another man?”

I struggled to stand, and nearly lost my footing.

“I almost died,” I said, my voice shaking. “For you, Tamlin. I almost died for you. And that is what you worry about?”

“Every night, Amarantha would tell me the things Rhys would do to you… It killed me.”

“Did you sleep with her?”

Tamlin stood up, I took a step back.

“Answer me. Did you sleep with her?”

“I… I was angry, okay? But it meant nothing.”

He tried to reach out to me but I shook my head.

“Don’t touch me! How could you?”

“You kissed him!”

I laughed and started walking away.

“God, you’re fucking delusional.”

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

“To my sisters!”

I started going down the stairs, realizing I was barefoot. I didn’t care.

“If you walk out of this house, I swear to god you will never see Nesta or Elain again.”

I whirled on him.

“Excuse me?”

“By the time you get there, they’ll be gone.”

I wanted to kill him. But I could see the bodies on the floor, Amarantha’s still open eyes, staring at me with a bullet between them. I felt the world spin and gripped the railing. I felt myself fall back, heard Tamlin scream my name but someone else caught me.

“Get her upstairs,” Tamlin growled out and my world went black.

*

I woke up alone in my room. I hadn’t bothered to turn the lights on. I didn’t want Tamlin to know I was awake. His shouting had woken me up- he’d broken something. I remembered bits and pieces of the events leading up to Tamlin taking me from the mansion. But her face… those eyes- I was never going to forget that.

When my bedroom door opened, I panicked.

“Feyre?”

I breathed out. “Lucien?”

He walked into the room and closed the door. I heard it lock. And then I was rushing towards him and he met me half way, holding me tight against him.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I wasn’t there to stop him.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Rhys is trying to get us out of here… Tamlin ruined everything.”

I pulled away.

“What do you mean?”

Lucien sighed.

“He pulled out a fucking ring. Said you were his fiancé- Rhys was in no condition for another fight.”

“What? Is he okay? What happened?”

Lucien put his hands on my shoulders.

“He’s alright. He won’t be using his arm for a few weeks but he’s alright.”

I wrapped my arms around him and hid my face against his chest.

“I promised… I promised we’d get out of this.”

“You did, Feyre.”

I shook my head. “What was the point of killing her just to be stuck here?”

He pried me away from him and cupped my face in his hands.

“We’ll find a way.”

I looked into his russet colored eyes and brushed my fingers over the scar on his face.

“We’re going to be together,” I said softly. “I will do anything.”

“What about Tamlin?” he asked, tracing his thumb over my bottom lip. The fear in his eyes emboldened me- I wasn’t going to let Tamlin get away with this.

“We play into his fantasy. He wants me to be his fiancé? I can play that part,” I whispered and got on my tip toes to kiss him. “He’s going to regret this.”

*

**The Present**

“Are you alright?” I asked Rhys, placing my hands on either side of his face.

“Yes,” he replied roughly. “I wish I hadn’t subjected you to this. Either of you.”

Rhys looked between Lucien and I. Lucien sighed.

“This was necessary,” Lucien reminded him.

“And I asked for this. You aren’t to blame for Tamlin or Beron’s behavior.”

I kissed him and wrapped my arms around his neck. Lucien hugged me from behind which made me laugh. “I love you,” I said softly. “Both of you.”

A knock came to the door and I could hear the birds chirping in their gilded cages in the sitting room. Az peeked his head through before stepping into the bedroom.

“We’ve got company,” he said and when our eyes met, I answered his silent question with a nod. His brother was alright. For this at least.

We stepped out into the sitting room to find Helion Singh walking in.

“Of course, you’d get the rooms with a better view,” he said as Rhys went to shake his hand.

“You know Thesan can’t resist my charm,” Rhys said with a grin. I rolled my eyes, making him laugh.

Helion greeted everyone, whispering something to Mor that made her blush. She laughed and playfully swatted his arm before she gave him a tight hug.

“I think you’re buying her a new car,” I whispered to Rhys as we sat down. He chuckled and pulled Lucien down to sit next to him.

“That was the most fun I’d had in a long time,” Helion said. “I’ve never forgotten what a wild fire you could be.”

His focus was on me. And when he smiled, I found myself blushing. But not because it was Helion… There was something so familiar about him without the mask he always wore, so similar to Rhys.

“What can I say?” I shrugged. “You’ve all rubbed off on me.”

Everyone laughed.

“I would love to say I came here to whisk you three to my bed,” Helion drawled, looking at Mor, Azriel and Cas. “But I believe there are less appealing matters to discuss.”

“I don’t like to share,” Mor said.

“You’ll never know until you try, as I’m sure your cousin can tell you.”

“The nerve of that bastard,” Mor muttered under her breath, shaking her head. “I don’t think anyone would’ve cared to finish the meeting with his corpse on the ground.”

Her words seemed to amuse Helion even more.

But his amusement died when Cassian brought up the oncoming war. There was no other way to describe what this was. “We spoke to everyone, in private,” Rhys said. “No one wants to sit and wait for Royce to attack. Kallias especially. We take the fight to him.”

“And what of Tarquin? You two seemed rather affectionate tonight,” Helion asked. “Will he be joining us?”

“I don’t think my bed is big enough,” Rhys replied with a smirk. “But in this fight against, Royce- without a doubt. I only have doubts where Beron is concerned.”

“No matter what Tamlin says, and forgive me for bringing him up,” Helion said to me, “Royce has complete control over the Moran territory. This gives him access to Vanserra’s whether he helps us or not. And with Akinloye at our side…”

Lucien’s home would be in the middle of all of this.

“Do we really believe Beron will see reason?” Mor asked.

“He was a fool during the last war. And the games he played cost him.” Helion fixed his gaze upon Lucien long enough for me to notice before he looked away and continued. “His people will remember that. Hell, his wife remembers- if anyone has grievances against Beron, it is her.”

“What do you mean?” Lucien asked quietly.

“You weren’t even born yet,” Helion replied. He ran his fingers through his black hair. He spoke as though he were ancient compared to them. He wasn’t _that_ old. Maybe old enough to be Lucien’s father… If he’d sired him young…

“There’d been some infighting within Beron’s syndicate. To be safe, he sent your brothers away. She had two sisters, your mother. And both were killed thanks to Beron’s pride and selfishness.”

“My mother’s never spoken of that.” Lucien seemed to be looking at Helion in a different light.

“They died protecting her. They bought her time to escape to-”

Helion went quiet.

“My mother told me once, of some men who had tried to harm her, and of being saved. She never said who though I knew it never could have been Beron. He would have never cared enough.” Lucien met Helion’s gaze, and my breath hitched. “You saved my mother.”

“I did.”

“You didn’t use a weapon, either. She said her savior used his bare hands. Why? A bullet to the head is cleaner. Quicker.”

“She was far too young. Her parents sold her off to Beron before she’d finished high school. She’d been forced to finish her studies at home and gave Beron his first son before her seventeenth birthday.”

“And why did that matter to you?” Lucien asked. Everyone in the room seemed tense, all except for Lucien. “That was customary back then.”

“I know. Doesn’t make it right.”

When Helion smirked, my heart might have stopped.

“You had an affair,” I said quietly. Helion’s gaze slid over to me. _Holy shit_, I thought to myself. _Helion is Lucien’s father. _

“Careful, Ms. Archeron. I wouldn’t doubt Thesan’s taught his pretty little birds to whisper in his ear.”

“And this is my cue to leave,” Mor said, playfully patting the top of Helion’s head before leading Cassian and Azriel to another room.

“But… my mother…” Lucien slouched in his seat.

“I’m sorry, Luce,” I said. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“It’s not that… I just… _My_ mother?”

“Beron may try to douse her flames, but I assure you, Lucien. Your mother is wild fire, not so different from your lovely Feyre.”

“Did you love her?” Lucien said suddenly.

“With everything that I am.”

“And now?”

“I would tell you,” Helion said as he rose to his feet. “But then I’d ruin your evening.”

“What-”

Rhys snorted and I tried to hide my smile with my hands.

“This was a rather… amusing chat. I’ll see you all in the morning,” Helion said with a grin.

“What is he talking about?” Lucien asked the moment Helion left the room.

Rhys took Lucien’s hands in his. “Lucien, my darling. Let us not dwell on what Helion is doing.”

“Or who,” I said under my breath. Rhys chuckled. Lucien’s brows furrowed then his eyes widened until he looked veritably disgusted.

“I- That bastard!” Lucien got to his feet but sat down once more. “Oh, my god.”

“Well, now that you’ve gained that scar,” Rhys goaded. “Why don’t we call our nosy family back here and tell them all about it?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. For Helion to be Lucien’s father in a modern setting, he’d be like… in his 40s. Even if Lucien is in his late 20s (honestly I have no idea what age they’re supposed to be. My brain retained nothing I read in the books today).   
Helion’ s flirtatious nature has never bothered me although I wish bisexual men would stop being written as the kind of guy that just wants threesomes- but Mor isn’t sleeping with him in this AU. They’ll joke around because they’re adults and they’re friends but it’s safe/like nothing is ever happening there.   
I hope it doesn’t seem i’m making this into a big deal but idk it really threw me off for a second lol and BISEXUAL MEN CAN SLEEP WITH WOMEN AND STILL BE ATTRACTED TO MEN. so. there’s that.   
I gave some of Feyre’s nosy ass questions to Lucien because he was present unlike in the books and it made more sense for him to be like ‘helion, whats good with my moms?’ and helion tell him. AND his parentage does matter in this war because families are everything in this world.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is late, I'm sick, so I apologize! 
> 
> This one deals with ptsd and suicial thoughts/ideation but without the intent to act on it as well as abuse. I've taken liberty with canon so that things make sense in this Au. 
> 
> And for some reason, AO3 keeps saying this fic is complete no matter how many times I fix it. It's not complete until you see the words THE END lol so remember that ;)

**The Present**

For someone who had faced down her ex-boyfriend just a day before, I was ridiculously nervous as Cassian drove me to the Big House. There were so many things wrong in the world but, there was nothing to be done about them. Not yet, anyway. Which left me with no excuses. I had to see my sisters.

It’s not that I didn’t want to see them. But the last time I had… It had been one of the worst nights of my life. Of their lives. I knew that Rhysand would never let anything like that happen to them, I knew they were safe here in Velaris- but I had this sick feeling in my gut that they wouldn’t believe me. They wouldn’t believe that Tamlin _took me_ and used them to get me back when I had tried to get away. Everyone seemed to tip toe around them whenever I’d asked and that scared me even more.

* * *

“It’s not too late to turn around,” Cassian said, looking over at me with a soft smile.

“I know but… No. I have to.”

He reached over and took my hand.

“It’ll be alright.”

“What if it isn’t?” I asked.

“Then I’ll make sure they can go be miserable somewhere else.”

I glared at him and he laughed.

Despite my worries, seeing the house in front of me was something out of a dream. I loved it here. Cassian opened my door and helped me out of the car and arm in arm we walked to the doors. They were opened and we stepped inside and I was hugged and kissed by the house staff as we went in search of my sisters.

We ended up going upstairs to the library. I could hear Nesta as we walked down the hall. She went silent when she saw me at the door but scowled when she looked at Cassian. Cassian who grinned and leaned in to kiss my cheek.

“I’ll be downstairs,” he said and I rolled my eyes, earning a poke to the rib. I jabbed my finger into his chest and he laughed, taking my hand and kissing it before walking off, humming to himself. He was an asshole, and I loved him for it.

“I heard you were back,” Nesta said, bringing me to look away from Cassian’s retreating form. “Took you long enough.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “There were… problems. I had to deal with them.”

“Like you dealt with us?”

I realized Elain was sitting on a cushioned chair by the window.

“I didn’t know how else to keep you safe, Nesta.”

She scoffed and went to sit across from Elain. Elain looked my way and got to her feet and walked towards me. I followed her away from the library and towards the bedrooms. She stopped at an open door and when we stepped inside, I immediately knew where I was.

“Rhys says you slept here for a few days,” she said, her voice a fragile thing. “I didn’t want to be anywhere else.”

_Rhys_. Not Rhysand, but _Rhys_.

“Elain… I’m sorry-”

My older sister silenced me with a hug. A rare thing, rare enough to bring tears to my eyes. “You’re alright,” she whispered. “Azriel had told me but…”

Elain pulled away and looked at me, touching my face as if she were looking for wounds. Such intimacy I had never received at home, not even with our mother.

“I was so worried.”

“I had no way to tell you… If Rhys heard from us, it was because of Lucien. I didn’t mean-”

Elain shook her head. “No… I know it isn’t your fault. Nesta is… She hasn’t been well. I mean, neither have I but, none of that is your fault. Everyone is very kind and I think I’ve made a friend.”

This _friend_ seemed to light up her eyes, made her smile in a way I hadn’t seen before. She brought me to sit on the bed, reminding me of those first nights I spent here with Rhys talking until one of us fell asleep.

“Our sister is bitter. Resentful. So don’t feel bad, I’ve been the recipient of that anger.”

“Why?”

Elain shrugged and took my hand in hers.

“I don’t know. She won’t tell me. But what matters is that you’re back and we can figure it out.”

“What about you?”

Elain sighed. “Well. Grayson’s dad is a cop so naturally, he thought his son could use me to get to Rhys.”

“What?”

She seemed exhausted.

“It was… I’ve never been so disgusted with anyone in all my life. Rhys had me tell Azriel, and they took care of it. Apparently, whatever you did to Tamlin has been enough to keep his father’s nose out of our business.”

I was at a loss for words. My sister seemed amused at this and thankfully, Azriel appeared at the door. He seemed bashful at the sight of me there, as if he hadn’t expected anyone else to be here. Anyone else but Elain.

“Oh… El- I can come back.”

El? I looked at my sister who was avoiding my gaze.

“No. I was just telling Feyre about Grayson. Nothing you haven’t heard.”

Azriel sighed, with relief, I might add, and stepped into the room.

“Bastard is as crooked as they come,” he said as he leaned against the dresser. He crossed his arms, but I noticed how he didn’t try to hide his scarred hands. “I could probably have him tossed behind bars _legally_ before he found anything on Rhys.”

“He tried to say I was taken,” Elain continued. “I came to Velaris willingly. I swear Grayson fits right in with these assholes.”

Azriel chuckled at her outburst. I found myself once again surprised by my sister. And by Az- I looked at him and raised a brow and he blushed.

“Don’t you fucking start,” he warned when I started smiling.

“Start what?” Elain asked innocently.

“I swear to god, Feyre.”

I cackled and got to my feet.

“Well. I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry. I’ll probably be here until Rhys gets back so… I’ll see you later?” I looked at Elain who nodded and then at Az who was five seconds away from tackling me to the ground.

I snorted when I stepped into the hallway and heard Azriel’s exasperated sigh. I laughed the entire way down the hall. Cassian was in the kitchen when I made my way there and he raised a brow at my stupid grin.

“What?” he asked, mouth full of food.

“When were you going to tell me that Elain and Az are… whatever that was.”

His eyes widened and he quickly chewed his food. He held up one hand to me and once he’d chewed his food and actually swallowed it, he breathed in.

“Fucking THANK YOU!” he shouted. “I swear everyone here is blind.”

I laughed and closed the space between us and took the sandwich off his plate. I looked at what was between the bread and shrugged before biting into it.

“I mean, Elain was… I’ve never known anyone that shy. Besides Az. But when Grayson wanted to pull that shit with his dad, she snapped. I know it’s only been… two months? But… It’s nice to see him making friends on his own.”

I rolled my eyes and smiled.

“Give me my sandwich back, squirrel,” he said while I chewed OUR food. He poked my cheeks before snatching it from my hand. “Come on, I’ll make another one. You always do this.”

Cassian sounded annoyed and I’d missed this- missed him so much I sobbed. Mortified, Cassian looked down at me and set his plate down and quickly wrapped his arms around me.

“Hey, I was just kidding. Take the sandwich. Take everything.”

“It’s not that, you dumb ass.” I was crying so much I couldn’t see clearly. “I just… I missed you.”

Cassian let out a shaken breath and kissed the top of my hair.

“I missed you, too.”

We heard someone clear their throat and Rhys was there looking rather amused until he saw the tears in my eyes. Cassian was all too happy to have Rhys join in on the hug. They held me between them until the tears stopped.

“You’re home early,” I said as Rhys handed me the little black pocket square for me to dry my eyes with.

“Yes. Well, we have a very… interesting visitor.”

“Who?” Cas and I said in unison.

“Come see for yourself.”

Rhys held my hand as we walked towards his office- which meant this was serious. But then, why was he looking so smug? I could hear Lucien’s voice before Rhys knocked on the door. My heart seemed to stop at the sight of Helion Singh opening the door to Rhysand’s office.

“Ms. Archeron. So lovely to see you,” he said with a smile and stepped aside to let us pass. And my heart stopped at the sight of Aurelie Vanserra sitting beside Lucien.

“Mrs. Vanserra,” I said and looked at Lucien who appeared ready to disappear.

“Please, call me Aurelie,” she said. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

When I looked at Rhys, he was smirking.

“We all have the same problem, it seems,” Aurelie said, bringing my attention back to her. “And after yesterday’s charade… I think there’s no better time to solve this problem. Together.”

I watched as Helion went to sit beside Aurelie, earning a glare from Lucien. That only seemed to make him smile more.

“And what problem would that be?” I asked.

“My husband,” she replied. Helion looked at her as though she’d brought the sun with her. He was proud, in awe of her of every word she spoke. “We are at war, and there is no better time to act than when Beron is off playing make believe with Royce and all those other groveling pricks.”

“And by act you mean…”

“I want him dead.”

*

**Five Months Ago**

“Don’t,” I hissed, and took a step back. Tamlin’s face was twisted in a scowl.

“How long is it going to take?” he spat and I walked away. Tamlin followed me as I made for the art room and he grabbed my wrist before I could open the door. I shoved him away.

“When you stop trying to force me to forgive you- let’s start there!”

“I told you it meant nothing!”

“Well it means something to me! I nearly died for you. I _killed_ for you-” I couldn’t breathe. I needed to get out of here. But I wasn’t even allowed to leave the fucking estate.

Tamlin let out a sigh and put his hands on my shoulders. I flinched but he didn’t back off.

“Alright… Alright. I’ll leave you alone.”

He kissed my forehead and I wanted to scrub my skin raw. I watched him walk away before I locked myself in the room. I couldn’t paint anymore. Not here. But I was good at pretending- I’d done it my entire life. I painted mindless things, just enough so that if Tamlin ever came peeking, he wouldn’t suspect anything. But I couldn’t find it in me to pretend just then. I picked up a vase and threw it against the wall and screamed as it shattered. I screamed until my throat ached. I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around myself and wept.

No one came knocking till dinner time. I’d fallen asleep. Alis unlocked the door and when she saw me, she covered her mouth with her hand, and before she could ask me anything, I got to my feet and left the room. I realized my pants were wet from the stupid vase and there were flower petals stuck to my arm. I wasn’t sure if it was luck that I didn’t sleep on any of the glass. Maybe I was just unlucky.

I went to my room and showered. I left my hair down and put on the biggest shirt I could find and some leggings before I climbed into bed. I knew that if I fell asleep, I would dream of that man. That woman. Sometimes, the man was Rhys and the woman was Elain. Sometimes Nesta. Sometimes I dreamt that I turned the gun on myself instead. But it was just a dream, and I couldn’t die. Not until I found a way to get Lucien to Rhys. Not until I saw that Rhys was alright. Maybe then…

Tamlin demanded I join them for dinner the next day, though his demand was masked by the blue dress and pretty jewelry he had Alis bring me.

“I look like shit,” I muttered. Alis sighed as she combed through my hair.

“You look radiant. This blue compliments you well.”

I grunted which made her laugh.

Tamlin was sitting alone in the dining room. There were only two sets of plates and utensils, two cups. No one else was joining us, then. The last time he’d done this, well, I had loved it. I don’t even think we bothered with dinner. But this… I didn’t like this. I didn’t like the smile on his face or the way he came to hold my hand.

“I wish I could take you somewhere,” he said as he brought me to my chair. “But it’s not safe.”

“Of course,” I said and I saw him clench his jaw. “Thanks for the dress.”

“It’s Ianthe you should thank,” he said cheerfully. “She picked it out.”

I said nothing as our dinner was served. Drinks were poured and music began to play. I played around with my food, knowing Tamlin was focused on his own plate. I didn’t mind emptying my wine glass, though. He stopped holding meetings at the estate after I paid off someone’s debts with a handful of jewelry that he’d given me. Jewelry Ianthe had picked out. Like the stupid dress I wore. I couldn’t leave. My phone was gone. I didn’t bother with the computer in the office- I knew he was watching. Somehow.

I was on my third glass when Tamlin pried it from my hand and had me stand up. I was still reeling from his audacity when he got down on one knee. And my breath hitched. He pulled a black box out and I decided that three glasses of wine on an empty stomach was not the brightest decision I’ve had.

“Tamlin…”

“I want to get married,” he said as he opened the box. It was a nice ring, gold and emerald. “Let me prove to you that I’m sorry.”

I wanted to say no. I wanted to scream it. But I was alone with Tamlin in a room with only two ways out. Both, I knew, were guarded to allow us ‘privacy’.

“Okay,” I whispered and when he raised a brow, I had to fight the urge to cry. “Prove it to me.”

Tamlin smiled and I remembered how much I used to love seeing him do so. How much I loved being the reason behind it. It was a lie. But he still slid the ring on my finger. Still stood up and pulled me to him before I could walk away. He pressed his lips against mine and it took everything not to push him away. I thought of Rhys, of the way he’d kissed me. The way he’d made me feel. I thought of Lucien-

Tamlin pulled away when I started to cry.

“Sorry,” I blurted out. “I’m just so happy.”

He made to kiss me again but Bronn burst into the room. I would have kissed that man if the thought of kissing anyone else but Lucien and Rhys didn’t make me sick.

“Sorry, Tam. But we’ve got a problem.”

“What kind of problem?”

“Someone broke into the warehouse.”

Tamlin cursed and I mustered up a smile and put my hand on his arm.

“Go… I’ll be here.”

Tamlin sighed and kissed my cheek before he started barking orders at Bronn and the others who waited outside in the hall. I waited until he slammed the front door to go back to my room. Except, I didn’t.

Lucien’s bedroom was closer to mine; Tamlin’s was on the complete other side of the house. I knocked on his door and was relieved when he answered.

“Feyre?”

“Can I come in?” I asked and Lucien nodded, standing aside to let me pass. The last time I’d been in this room, I had been saying goodbye. It felt like years had passed since then. When I heard the door close, I turned to find Lucien walking towards me.

“So… He actually proposed.” It wasn’t a question, but there was bitterness in his tone.

“More like he told me he wants to get married. He didn’t ask me but… I know I have no say in the matter.”

Lucien held out his hand and I showed him the ring. He brought my hand to his lips and pressed a kiss over my knuckles before he pulled me towards him.

“I won’t let this happen,” he said.

“I don’t feel like I can do this… He’s wearing me down, Luce.”

“I’m going to get you out of here,” he whispered. “I promise.”

I thought nothing of it when I kissed him. Nor when he let go of my hand to wrap his arms around me.

“I should go,” I whispered when we stopped to breathe.

“Yes, perhaps you should,” Lucien said as he brought his hand to my cheek and brushed his thumb across my lower lip.

When Lucien kissed me, it was as though he’d lit a match and set my heart ablaze. Whatever light Tamlin had put out, Lucien reignited with his searing touch. He lifted me up in his arms and carried me to his bed. He laid me down far more gently than I expected him to and the look in his eyes… Tamlin had never looked at me that way.

“One day,” Lucien whispered as he kissed my neck. “I’m going to ask you to marry me.”

“And if Rhys asks first?”

“He can pay for the wedding.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how late this came out! My daughter has the flu and my fibro has been acting up. It's been a tad hectic my way lol

**Five Months Ago**

I looked at myself in the mirror and wanted nothing more than to rip the damned dress to shreds. I had never really imagined myself getting married, but not even in my worst nightmare did I look like this. It was as if the gowns from Enchanted and Labrynth had a baby, then sent that baby back to the eighties. And added glitter. Not even Lucy Westenra would wear this monstrosity, and her wedding gown was atrocious.

But I couldn’t do a damn thing. I was stuck. Hanging from the door was a black dress, the other option for me to wear today. If I wanted my sisters dead, I could wear that instead of marrying Tamlin. I had stopped crying hours before, but my heart felt hollow. 

A knock came to my bedroom door and I turned to find Lucien walking in. He looked handsome as always in his midnight blue suit, he’d even kept his hair down. I wanted to kiss him, hug him- I needed him but I knew I couldn’t do anything- someone was bound to be watching.

“It’s time,” he said quietly.

“I want snipers on anyone who tries to take a picture of me in this,” I said, trying to laugh but I felt like crying again.

“Come on… I managed to stall it long enough so your sisters can make it.”

I raised a brow but Lucien said nothing else. Ianthe was waiting just outside the door.

“You look like a doll,” she crooned and shoved a bouquet of roses at me. I snatched them from her grasp, not caring that petals fell to the floor.

Lucien led me down the stairs and towards the gardens outside. How had Tamlin managed to get so many people here under such short notice?

“I don’t want to do this,” I whispered to Lucien as we stood under the doorway that led outside. The guests were all standing, looking my way, but I did not see my sisters.

“I know,” Lucien whispered back. “But don’t worry… It’ll be fine.”

“How can you say that?”

“Trust me,” Lucien replied and then we were walking towards the guests. Towards Tamlin who was standing there with a smile on his face as though he had not forced me into this. As though he had not made me choose between marrying him or losing my sisters. I hadn’t truly understood how Amarantha had held so much power over all of them until now.

I told myself to breathe. To trust Lucien- As long as I had him, I could pretend. I could survive this. What was a marriage compared to all that Amarantha had put me through? I was keeping my sisters safe… Keeping Lucien safe. If I pretended to be Tamlin’s doting, quiet, well-behaved wife, he would never think twice about leaving me alone with Lucien.

But nothing helped. I felt like I was being strangled. I stopped walking when I saw red rose petals on the floor… rose petals that became droplets of blood. Blood from the corpses of those I’d killed.

“Feyre?”

“I can’t do this.”

The bouquet fell from my hands and I took a step back. Tamlin took a step forward, a concerned look on his face. I had to get out of here. I was never going to survive this.

“Come on, we’re almost there,” Lucien said softly, but did not move. If anything… Lucien seemed to be trying to keep me where I was. 

”There’s so much blood… I can’t wear white, I’ll ruin it.” There were tears in my eyes. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Feyre, come on,” Tamlin called out and I flinched.

“No matter what happens,” Lucien whispered, slowly letting me go. “I love you, Feyre Archeron.”

“What?”

Lucien knelt down to grab my bouquet and as he got to his feet, a single gun shot silenced everyone. I froze in place. It was far too quiet, perhaps I’d imagined it. But then I saw guests run and I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and my heart stopped in my chest. Rhysand was there, adjusting the lapels of his jacket.

“Hello, Feyre darling,” he said.

“How dare you?” Tamlin hissed and Rhys looked in Tamlin’s direction with such boredom is was almost laughable.

“What a pretty little wedding… For a grade school play.” Rhys put his hands in his pockets as he walked towards me. “Shame… You have such a… lovely bride. She deserves so much better than this.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” Tamlin growled but Rhys paid him no mind. He was looking at me now as though… as though nothing else mattered. “Lucien-”

Rhys raised his hand and even I held my breath.

“Run along now, Lucien. There is no need for you to be caught in the middle… Go check on dear old Bronn. I imagine he’ll wake up with a nasty headache.”

Lucien threw the bouquet on the ground and when our eyes met… I knew. He had never called my sisters… He had called Rhys.

“It’s time to call in our bargain.”

“She is not going anywhere with you.”

Rhys came to stand at my side, putting an arm around my shoulder.

“No? You would leave your bride a widow so soon?”

Tamlin looked to be on the verge of tears.

“I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” Rhys slid is hand down my back until he took hold of my waist. “Can you bring my mother back to me? Or my sister?”

Tamlin shook his head.

“That’s what I thought.”

As Rhys led me away, I heard Tamlin walking after us.

“Feyre, don’t you dare-”

Rhys stopped and turned around.

“If I leave this estate without Ms. Archeron, my brother is going to cease his conversation with that precious teller of yours at the bank. Everything that is yours will be mine. And if you should dare go after my brother…” Rhys let me go to reach out and pick at Tamlin’s suit jacket. “You have something red there… I can’t get it out.”

Tamlin looked down at his chest and with wide eyes, looked up. The red laser moved up until it was between his eyes. I turned around but when I looked up, all I could see was the second-floor balcony. But no one was there.

“Come along now, darling,” Rhys said and took my hand. “We have so much to do. But first… I’d like to get you out of this dress.”

*

Rhys was quiet as he sped down the highway. His car was graciously spacious enough for this godforsaken dress. He’d offered to walk me upstairs to change, but I had panicked, not wanting to give Tamlin a chance to follow us. So there I was, sick to my stomach in Rhysand’s sleek, black car in a wedding dress fit for a marriage in hell.

“Do you like airplanes?” Rhys asked and I looked at him incredulously.

“I don’t know… Why?”

“Velaris is not very close. We’d be on the road until late tonight.”

“How did you get there on time?”

“Private jet. Grabbed my car at the airport and here I am.”

“And your… brothers.”

He chuckled. “They’re behind us.”

But I couldn’t see anyone in the mirror.

“You’ll see them soon enough. They’re simply making sure Tamlin doesn’t do anything stupid.”

I nodded but felt my throat tighten again. Rhys reached out and took my hand.

“I hope you can forgive me… I couldn’t come sooner.”

“It’s not your fault,” I said and my voice broke. Rhys brought my hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to my knuckles.

“This ring… It’s so gaudy.”

I laughed despite the tears in my eyes. When he let go of my hand, I pulled the ring off and opened the window of the car.

“Feyre, what-”

I chucked the ring out the window. I closed the window and pulled down the visor and began to take out the pins from my hair.

“So eager to undress for me, darling?” Rhys asked playfully when I pulled the gloves off.

“And board your jet in nothing but a thong and stockings? What would your brothers think of me?”

Rhysand laughed. “I have no qualms in telling them to drive home.”

“Naughty boy…” I reached over and took his hand. I began to cry again much to Rhysand’s mortification. “Lucien told me he loved me… And now he’s there alone.”

“Darling, darling… I’ll get him out.”

“You promise?”

Rhys looked at me and smiled. “Yes, I promise.”

*

Boarding the jet was… harder than I thought. But Rhys helped me take the petticoats off and I held up the skirts until we were inside.

“I will buy you something to wear once we’re in Velaris,” Rhys said as he opened a closet and pulled out a duffle bag. “I hope you don’t mind this.”

It was a white shirt and a pair of grey joggers.

“Get me out of this,” I said and turned around. Rhys chuckled and brushed my hair over my shoulder before swiftly undoing the buttons of the cursed dress. And just when I thought he was going to take it off, two ridiculously tall and ridiculously gorgeous men stepped into the jet. They shared the same black hair and beautiful brown skin. The one with long hair looked like trouble. I could tell the other one was more reserved. He had brutal scars on his hands and a tender look in his hazel eyes that told me I was going to favor him easily.

“You must be Feyre,” the one with long hair said and looked me up and down with a grin. “Need some help?”

The other one rolled his eyes.

“Don’t mind him. He’s an ass.”

“Cassian, Az. What terrible timing,” Rhys said as he pushed the skirts of the dress to walk over to them. He hugged them both and I grabbed his clothes and the duffle bag and rushed to the bathroom. Once the dress was pooled at my feet, I took the stockings off and pulled on the joggers. I tied the white shirt at my waist and was happy to find socks and slides at the bottom of the duffle bag. I put those on and finger combed my hair before I grabbed the dress and stepped out. All three men stopped to look at me.

“I’m burning this when we get to your house,” I said to Rhys as I shoved the stupid dress under one of the seats. Rhys walked over to me and put an arm around my shoulder as he led me to his brothers. Cassian and Azriel, the two responsible for scaring Tamlin shitless. I surprise them both with tight hugs and thank yous before I return to Rhysand’s side.

While Az went into the cockpit with the pilot, Cassian took the seat nearest the door. Rhys offered me the window seat and sat next to me. The flight to Velaris was thrilling- I’d never been on a plane before, had never seen the world from this high up. I also didn’t mind being so close to Rhys, or Cassian’s flirting and incessant jokes.

When we landed, Cassian was the first to step out with Az behind us. A beautiful woman with golden brown skin and long blonde curls was waiting for us beside a black hummer. With the way she hugged Cassian, I would have thought her to be his girlfriend. But then she did the same thing to Az and I wondered if they were like Rhys and Lucien with me-

“Feyre, darling,” Rhys said, “This is my cousin, Mor. Mor, this is-”

Mor hugged me just as warmly as she had the others.

“My new best friend!” She kissed my face. “I’ve heard so much about you!!!”

I was blushing by the time she pulled away.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” she said softly.

“I’ve got shot gun!” Cassian declared and opened the passenger side door. Rhys helped me into the back seat and I ended up sitting between him and Azriel. He pulled off his leather jacket and draped it over my shoulders.

“It gets a little chilly here at night,” Az said softly.

“Thank you.” I found myself blushing, especially when Rhys put an arm around me. I hadn’t realized I fell asleep until I heard a door open.

“Darling,” Rhys said softly, “We’re home.”

Home turned out to be a mansion I would have dared called a palace. It was the most opulent, most beautiful thing I’d ever seen with my own eyes. Rhys took my hand in his and gave a little squeeze. He actually looked _nervous_.

“Welcome to the House of Wind,” Rhys said. “Your home for the next seven days.”

“And one day,” I said, interlacing my fingers with his, “Forever.”

*

**The Present**

I accepted the glass of wine that Cassian gave me as I sat in Rhysand’s leather chair. He himself was sitting on the armrest, his hand on my back.

“It would be too easy to get rid of him now,” Cassian said as he leaned against the desk. “But I have to know- What do you gain from getting rid of your husband?”

“I get back all that he took when I was married to him. My father bore no sons and when he died, Beron took his place.”

“Why now?” I asked. “This is not the first war amongst you all.”

“No… But I did not have support like I do now. Rhysand, even Tarquin are so young- you are nothing like those that came before you.”

“But mother… What of Eris? He would have killed me and Feyre had Tamlin not wanted to do it himself.”

Aurelie closed her eyes and smiled softly when Helion put his arm around her shoulder. She leaned into him and opened her eyes, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“Eris will be dealt with, as will the others.”

“How?” Cassian asked.

“Cas,” Rhys said, “Can you bring my cousin here? She should be in her room.”

The surprised grin on Cassian’s face was golden.

“And get Az while you’re at it.”

“Yessir,” Cas said and gave Rhys a salute before he sauntered out of the room.

Rhys poured everyone drinks while we waited. Helion and Aurelie spoke quietly to themselves in Hindi until she noticed the surprise on Lucien’s face.

“I learned,” was all she offered him before she pinched his cheek. Lucien scowled but I did not miss the way he began to blush.

When Cassian returned, Mor and Az walked in arm and arm. They had an excitable energy about them that was contagious. Aurelie got to her feet to greet Mor and hugged her tight.

“It has been long overdue,” Aurelie said as she took Mor’s hand and led her to the sofa. Lucien got up and made his way towards Rhysand and I. I gave up my seat to him and laughed softly when he pulled me down to his lap.

“There is nothing that will ever make up for the damage Eris has caused,” Aurelie continued. I noticed the look on Azriel’s face and remembered why he was so feared across Prythian. “But I would like to try.”

“Aurelie is going to reclaim her place as the godmother of the Vanserra territory. We are going to assist her in that endeavor,” Rhys said to his cousin. “But that leaves us with Eris and his brothers. A mother would never wish death upon her own children… But we are not their mothers.”

“What are you saying?” Mor asked quietly.

“Eris and his brothers are yours to deal with as you see fit,” Rhys replied. “Aurelie and I have discussed this at length, and there is no one else better suited to the task.”

Mor looked at Aurelie in disbelief.

“He was- _is_ a monster. Like his father. I regret… I regret so much and this is the least that I could do.”

There were tears in Morrigan’s eyes. Tears that Aurelie wiped away before she wrapped her arms around Mor.

“I have one question though,” I said, and everyone looked at me. “What does this mean for Lucien?”

“He would be my sole heir,” Aurelie said as she leaned back in her seat. She was still holding Mor’s hand.

“And mine,” Helion added.

“What?” Mor, Cassian, and Az all looked at him as though he’d grown a second head. Lucien groaned and held me a little tighter.

“Helion is my father,” Lucien said as though it pained him.

“Well this day just keeps getting better and better,” Cassian muttered.

“Oh my god.” Mor looked over at Helion and then at Lucien. “How had I never noticed before?”

“The Singh and Faure families together will create the second greatest territory in Prythian after the del Valle’s,” Helion said.

“Faure?” I had never heard of that name.

“That is my mother’s maiden name,” Lucien said.

“Damn, foxy boy,” Cassian teased and I didn’t have to look to know that Lucien was rolling his eyes.

“Should you ever get married, you three will be the most powerful family in Prythian- in history, I would dare say,” Helion said with a smile.

“So, wait, does this mean you’re actually a Singh?” Cassian asked Lucien.

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“Lucien Singh…. I like it,” I said and turned in his lap to look at him. “Though I think I like Lucien Archeron-Singh better.”

*

Lucien’s parents stayed with us for dinner. Nesta didn’t join us but Elain was happily chatting up Helion and Aurelie, wanting to know all about how they met and if they planned on getting married once their ‘problem’ was taken care of. Lucien seemed to relax as the evening went on, especially as it became increasingly obvious that Helion wanted nothing more than to prove himself to Lucien. To impress him. It was endearing- my parents had never given a shit about me or how their behavior affected me or my sisters.

After dinner, everyone went to one of the parlors for whiskey and cigars. I stole Rhys and Lucien away and had them follow me into the first floor of the library. I opened the double doors that led out to the balcony and stairs that led out to the gardens.

“What is it darling?” Rhys asked.

I took them both by the hand.

“Today was… a lot,” I said. “Are you alright?”

The way they looked at me took my breath away.

“I’m… grateful. This went better than I expected,” Rhys admitted. “You aren’t mad at me, are you?”

He looked at Lucien who seemed a little confused.

“For speaking to your mother and your father.”

“No… Of course not, Rhys. It meant I did not have to.”

Rhys chuckled and kissed Lucien.

“My mother thinks highly of you,” Lucien said to me. “Seeing you hold your own against all of these pain in the ass men gives her courage.”

“I hope you’re not referring to me,” Rhys said with feigned insult.

“_Especially_ you, dear.”

I laughed and Rhys glared at me, only making me laugh more.

“I love you so much,” I said. “Both of you.”

Lucien pulled me against him and Rhys hugged me from behind. I let out a sigh and wrapped my arms around Lucien. I got on my tip toes to kiss Lucien as Rhys pressed himself against me. I felt his hand on my neck and when we stopped to breathe, Rhys brought me to look at him and kissed me. Lucien’s hand slipped under my shirt as he kissed my neck.

These two were going to be the death of me.

Someone cleared their throat and we three glared at Cassian who was standing there bashfully.

“What?” we asked at the same time and Cassian grimaced.

“We have a problem.”

Lucien and Rhys let me go and Lucien adjusted my shirt while Rhys smoothed my hair.

“What is it?” Rhys asked.

“Az just got word… Royce and Tamlin are on the move. They’re going after Tarquin.”

I took hold of Rhysand’s hand. “What are we going to do? We have to warn them.”

“Amren already took off,” Cassian said as we followed him back into the house. “All she said was that Varian knows and she left on the jet.”

“Goddammit,” Rhys muttered. “How soon can we get in the air?”

“Az is already working on that. Mor is getting our men together… Just to make sure no one’s headed this way.”

Helion and Aurelie were standing with Elain when we walked back into the parlor.

“I’ll go with you,” Helion said to Rhys. “As long as Aurelie can remain here.”

“Of course,” Rhys waved him off. “She will be safer here with Lucien and-”

“I’m going with you,” I said. “I have to.”

“Feyre…”

“If Lucien is staying, I am going.”

Rhys gently placed his hands on either side of my face.

“I just got you back…” His voice was soft but I saw the fear in his eyes.

“No one is ever taking me from you again. Especially if we’re together.”

“Are you sure?” Lucien asked me.

“We’ll go together. We will make Royce and Tamlin regret ever setting their sights on our friend.”


	15. Chapter 15

**The Present**

The jet ride from Velaris into Adriata had felt like an eternity, but Rhys had made sure a car would be awaiting us at the airport. Az and Cassian got on their H2R’s- one red, one cobalt blue. Rhys sped down the highway after them; I didn’t know what to expect as we approached the bridge that would lead us directly into the heart of the city but as long as Rhys was by my side, I could face whatever came our way. 

The sea was like glimmering obsidian beneath the night sky, so unlike the turquoise it was in the day. The late hour meant there was less chance of innocents getting caught in the middle, a small mercy. But still my heart was in my throat as Rhys crossed the bridge. He sped past his brothers; Rhys and I would cover the street that led directly to Tarquin’s sea-side estate, while Cas and Azriel took the back streets, making sure Royce nor Tamlin couldn’t surprise us.

We didn’t see movement until we neared the town square. Bodies were on the ground, staining the cobblestones with blood. Unarmed people were being forced to their knees, guns pointed at their heads.

“Drive us by, I’ll deal with this,” I said.

“Had lots of practice, have you, darling?” Rhys was teasing, but there was no mirth in his tone.

Before we even neared the group of Hybern’s men, I opened the window and shot down three of them. The people on their knees scrambled to their feet and ran, Hybern’s men now focused on us. Good. Surprising me, Rhys drove around the fountain and took down the remaining two with his high standard .22. He stopped the car and got out. I followed after him and found him approaching a third man I hadn’t seen who was bleeding out from his leg.

“Where the fuck is Royce?” Rhys pointed his pistol at the man’s face.

“Fuck you,” the man spat and Rhys shot his other leg. I flinched when he screamed.

“Where is Tamlin?”

The man was weeping, going pale.

“That bastard… He didn’t show. It’s just us… just us.”

“Of course, he didn’t,” Rhys muttered. “Fucking coward.”

Rhys took my hand and rushed us back to the car as the man screamed for us not to leave him like that. Rhys ignored him.

The short drive to Tarquin’s estate was quiet save the few times we drove by Hybern’s men on motorcycles. But the men following Az and Cassian were quickly disposing of them.

The gate to the estate was open and Rhys drove us right to the front door. I could hear gun shots coming from within, the sound making me wish I’d stayed home. But I knew if I didn’t try to help Tarquin, I would never be able to live with myself.

“Stay close,” Rhys said as we hurried inside. We followed the sounds of gunshots and people shouting until we walked into Tarquin’s dining hall. This must have been where the fighting began; the glass tables were overturned, cracked and shattered. Precious gems and pearls littered the floor. Bodies, both Tarquin’s and Hybern’s men were littered across the floor. We carefully made our way through the room and out to another long hallway that led to the stairs.

We found Cresseida on the landing, hiding behind the pearl and gold gilded wall, looking over and shooting blindly.

“I can’t find Tarquin,” she breathed out. “Royce is here somewhere… Varian and Amren went after him.”

“How many?” Rhys asked as he leaned back against the wall.

“Three. They’re trying to keep me from going after that bastard.”

Rhys breathed in and let it out and without warning, pushed himself off the wall and whirled on them, shooting twice before he rushed to the other side of the landing. His eyes met mine and I wanted to strangle him- I knew he had four rounds left before he had to reload.

“Cover me,” he said and rushed into the hallway. I ran after him just in time to see the man he shot crumple to the floor. We cleared the rooms before we followed Cresseida down a long hallway with floor to ceiling windows. I could see the sea from here… The sea and the fighting out on the balcony.

“Amren,” I heard Rhys mutter and he was no longer content in following Cresseida, running ahead of us before he opened the doors that led outside.

Amren was stalking around a man twice her size with a blade in her hand. I saw one man bent over oddly over the balustrade and by the wounds down his back, I knew that was Amren’s work. Varian was injured, sitting against the balustrade with a hand over his side. But he had a pistol aimed at the man who had his gun aimed at Amren.

Rhys shot him down and before he hit the floor, Amren lunged at her attacker. She jumped onto his back, jamming her blade into his arm, causing him to drop his gun. And then she snapped his neck, using his body to break her fall.

“Tarquin went after Royce,” she said quickly and ran to Varian. “Docks.”

“I’ll take care of my brother,” Cresseida said. “Go find my cousin.”

But Tarquin stepped out onto the balcony, his clothes disheveled, knuckles bloody. Cresseida ran to him and hugged him tight.

“What happened?” she asked and he leaned into her, letting out a sigh.

“Tamlin. Shot down our guards on the docks and unmoored the boats. They got away.”

“Are you hurt?”

He shook his head.

“Royce might have a broken rib or two, at least the night wasn’t a total loss.”

I heard foot steps and we turned around to find Cassian and Az. Cas was bleeding from his lip but otherwise, he looked alright. And Az… Az had a knife pressed so close to Eris’s neck, he was drawing blood. Eris’s hands were bound, his eye swollen shut.

“I have to agree,” Az said with a smirk that gave me chills. He kicked Eris who stumbled forward, hitting the ground face first. “The night wasn’t a total loss.”

*

**Five Months Ago**

Rhysand’s mansion was built like a palace and yet… it felt more lived in, more cozy than Tamlin’s mansion. But then… Rhysand’s family clearly loved one another and were so easily accepting of me. I was given a quick tour; the den where they liked to hang out in place of the enormous sitting room I had seen when we first walked in. The dining hall that had an oil painting of what had to be Rhysand’s parents with Rhys and his sister as children on the wall. I assumed the two boys with them were Azriel and Cassian. The chandelier was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen- all of the art that I’d seen hung in the hallways were to die for.

I was overcome with emotion when I found Nuala and Cerridwen in the kitchen, busy with dinner. After a tear-filled reunion with the twins, Rhys took me by the hand and led me upstairs while Mor and his brothers went to find Amren, his consigliere, from what they told me.

“This room has a nice view of Velaris,” Rhys said. “But there are other rooms if this one isn’t to your liking.”

I said nothing and merely gave him a smile. I hadn’t even thought about where I would sleep… though I would be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised I was going to have my own room. Alone.

The room itself was beautiful, just like what little I’d seen of the house. Rhys remained at the door while I looked around. The closet was full of clothes and shoes, even gowns.

I walked to the window and looked out- it truly was a breathtaking view.

“It’s beautiful,” I said softly. “Thank you, Rhys.”

When I looked back, I found him looking at me almost longingly. But he quickly grinned and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“I do have to sit with Amren… Make yourself at home, darling.”

“Oh… Alright.”

“If you need anything, I’ll be downstairs in my office…” He trailed off and sighed. “Tell you what, I’ll come find you when I’m done?”

“I’d like that.”

*

Naturally, I wasn’t content to sit around and wait. I’d taken a very long, very hot bath and slipped into high-waisted jeans and a black long-sleeved crop top. I chose a pair of black slippers instead of the boots, heels and sneakers perfectly lined up in the closet. I put Azriel’s jacket back on, intent on giving it back to him.

I wasn’t nosy enough to go snooping in the bedrooms but I walked back towards the stairs and crossed over the landing to walk down another long hallway. A set of intricately carved double doors caught my eye and I looked through the glass and let myself in.

It was a library. An actual library- and I was on the second floor. I walked inside, looking over the iron balustrade. There was a winding staircase that led to the first level and doors that led outside. I started to walk around the second floor, brushing the spines of the books with my fingertips as I walked. I had never been so excited to see a window seat, hidden away behind some tall shelves. Someone had been there recently, their books stacked up on the windowsill. One was open on the seat itself.

_Poetry_.

I snorted. It was hard to imagine some of the most dangerous people in Prythian reading poetry in their spare time… But that was being unfair. I’d known Rhysand’s family for barely a day and I knew that I wanted them in my life forever.

I walked down the spiral stairs, the iron rail cold under my hand. I found a desk that I had not been able to see from the top floor, and behind it- the card catalog. I was so engrossed in looking through it that I didn’t notice that Rhys had found me until he spoke, scaring me shitless.

“I had a feeling I’d find you here,” he said and I yelped, turning around with a hand over my chest.

“How long have you been there?”

“You had just rearranged a handful of cards in proper order.”

I scowled at him and he grinned.

“Dinner is ready, darling. Would you like to join us?”

I let out a sigh and pressed my hand against my chest before closing the little drawer. Rhys held out his hand to me and I took it, allowing him to guide me to the dining hall.

“Where would you like to sit?” he asked as we stepped into the room. I was surprised to find Mor sitting at the head of the table, her legs draped over Cassian’s lap. Az had a chair between him and Cassian and was going through his tablet while a very short woman with black hair and eerily grey eyes sat directly across from him. She fixed her gaze on me, a smile on her blood red lips.

“Another like me,” she said.

Rhys let out a sigh. “Feyre, this is Amren. Amren, Feyre.”

“Hello.” I sounded stupid but Amren merely pat the chair next to her. Rhys sat down next to me.

“You alright?” he asked.

I nodded. How could I explain that Tamlin would never allow anyone to sit in his seat? I didn’t even understand why that mattered. Or why I was even comparing the two.

“So… what did you mean by that?” I asked Amren, knowing that I would bare my entire soul to Rhys if I didn’t look away.

“I wasn’t part of this world,” she said. “I was made into what I am now.”

“Amren is my consigliere,” Rhys explained.

“How does one become a… consigliere?”

Amren smirked. “Rhysand is smarter than he looks,” she said to which Rhys feigned insult.

“Better to have this little monster on our side than risk having her as an enemy,” Cassian said as he stretched out and laughed when Amren threw her butter knife at him. It missed, barely.

“Don’t make me remind you why I was put away,” she warned but I saw the warmth in her expression. They were friends.

“Morrigan is our under boss,” Amren said to me, and Mor looked away from her phone to flash us a smile. “Third in command, in essence.”

“And what of you two?” I looked at Cass and then over at Azriel who had set the tablet aside.

“I oversee our men, recruiting, weapons- If some shit goes down, I make the call on who gets sent out to deal with it… If this was the military, I’d be a commander,” Cassian replied. “Az does intelligence, all that sneaky shit that keeps us ahead of everyone else.”

“A spy?”

Azriel shrugged.

“He’s the best sniper we’ve got, too,” Cas added and I thought of the red laser between Tamlin’s eyes at the ceremony. “I swear, it’s like he moves through shadows.”

Azriel looked as though he truly wished that he could move through shadows and disappear at the attention.

“Thank you,” I said quietly. “For today.”

“I heard we’re burning wedding dresses?” Mor said, setting down her phone. I looked at Rhys who gave me a shrug.

“If we’re all done, I would really like to eat dinner now,” Rhys said and earned a chorus of complaints. He looked so… happy. Even as Amren and Cassian began bickering while Mor chimed in. I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, surprising him.

“What was that for?” he asked softly. I noticed the others had toned it down, trying to be nosy.

“Because I like seeing you like this… happy.”

“And what about me?” Cassian whined. “Why am I not getting kisses?”

“Because you’re a prick,” Amren uttered.

*

After putting on socks and boots, Rhys walked me outside. We followed a stone path until we found Cassian and the others sitting around a bonfire. There was a small pond just some feet away. I laughed when Mor handed me the bag with my wedding dress rolled up inside of it.

“And here I thought we were making smores,” I muttered as I pulled the stupid thing out. Amren looked mortified.

“Oh, we are,” Cassian said and reached down beside him for a bag of marshmallows. “I just figured you’d want the dress to serve a better purpose.”

“You really want that kiss, huh?” I teased.

“Is it working?”

I laughed and looked at Rhys who was smiling.

“Any last words?” he asked and I rolled my eyes. I handed him the bag and carefully made my way to the fire, not wanting to trip over the endless layers of tulle.

“A sacrifice to the fashion gods,” Mor said with a sigh. “Your next wedding dress will be perfect.”

I smirked. “Rhys has excellent taste, I have no doubt he’ll find me something beautiful.”

I heard Rhys cough.

“Anyone got a knife?” I asked and I laughed at how fast everyone held out a blade of some sort. “Help me with this.”

Between the six of us, we tore into the dress, piece by piece and fed it into the fire. It was… liberating. I surprised them each with a hug and planted a loud kiss on Cassian’s face. We remained out there until the very late hours of the night, talking shit and cracking jokes. Az and Amren were the first to go, and then Cassian and Mor who were going to Rita’s, a bar, Rhys informed me before I made an ass out of myself and asked who that was. 

Rhys and I walked quietly back into the house. The lights were dim, allowing us to still see despite the late hour.

“If you’re up for it, I’d like to take you around the city tomorrow,” Rhys said as we neared my room door.

“I’d like that.”

“Did you enjoy yourself tonight?”

“I did… I’m… I’m glad I’ve met you all.”

He smiled. “As am I.”

We stopped just outside the door and he took my hand and kissed it, as though he was saying goodnight.

“Aren’t you…” I blushed and shook my head.

“What?”

“I don’t know… I thought you might stay.”

I didn’t know how to ask why we weren’t sharing a room again. I wondered if maybe the thought of a woman being in his bed, in his house, was too much to bear. If I could have brought her back to life and killed her again, I would have, but Amarantha’s body was worm fodder now.

“Would you like me to?”

“Yes.”

He looked a bit surprised.

“You don’t have to sleep here… Not if you’re not ready- I mean, if you’re not up for it. I just… I missed you. Everyday. If not for Lucien… I would be very lonely.”

“Well, we can’t have that now, can we?” He smiled and opened the door. “Shall we?”

I walked into the room and laughed when I felt Rhys hug me from behind.

“I missed you, too, Feyre. Every day.”

I put my hands over his arms and leaned into him.

“Now you’re going to get sick of me,” I said.

“No,” he said and kissed my cheek. “I will never tire of you, Feyre darling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a really rough week for me. I know this update is a lot shorter than the last, but if I wrote everything I wanted it would be way too long. Making the battle of adriata make sense in a modern setting was harder than I thought lol don't judge me pls lmao
> 
> I'll make it up to yall next week <3


	16. Chapter 16

**5 Months Ago**

I woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door. I opened my eyes and found myself looking at black tattoos and realized I had been sleeping on Rhys. He was still asleep, his arms wrapped around me. His shirt was on the floor, as were his pants and my clothes. I was wearing nothing but panties and when I heard Cassian say my name, I turned red in the face.

“Hold on!” I shouted and pried myself from Rhysand’s hold. I hurried into my clothes from the night before and tied up my hair as I answered the door.

Cassian was smirking. “I was going to ask if you’d seen our beloved don, but it seems our worry was for nothing.”

I blushed.

“Do you need me to wake him up?” I asked.

“No… Let him sleep. He doesn’t usually.” 

I looked back at him, at how he’d taken a pillow and hugged it to his chest. The blanket fell just above his hips and I could tell how it looked that he was naked.

“All we did was talk,” I said suddenly. “I swear.”

“I wasn’t questioning it, but now that you say it…”

I smacked his arm and he laughed.

“Breakfast is at ten, I can have it sent up here.”

“If he’s asleep… yeah.”

Cassian looked at Rhys and there was something like sadness in his hazel eyes. I wondered if he knew what Rhys had suffered, if Rhys had told them.

“Well… I’ll let you get back to _just talking_.” He dodged the punch to his arm and laughed. “I’m kidding. But I can see why he’s so taken with you. You’re just like Lucien.”

My heart fell at the thought of him and Cassian noticed. He put a hand on my shoulder so gently, I was caught off guard. He was built like a fucking tank and yet so… soft.

“Az has eyes and ears everywhere,” he said quietly. “When Lucien is able to call us, you’ll know.”

“How did he call you? To get me out of there, I mean.”

Cas sighed. “Risked his fucking neck, that’s what.”

I must have looked mortified because Cassian pulled me in for a hug. He didn’t leave my side until I no longer ran the risk of crying. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep, so I went to brush my teeth and shower.

“Darling?”

“I’m in the shower!” I called and soon enough, Rhys was in the bathroom. I pulled the glass door aside enough to look. “Good morning.”

He rubbed his eyes and gave me a lazy smile.

“Good morning, Feyre darling.” His voice was still heavy with sleep.

“Shower?” I asked and just when I thought he’d say no, Rhys gave me a nod.

“Give me a moment.”

Some minutes later, Rhys slid the glass door and stepped in. I said nothing of the way his eyes seemed to darken as he looked at me standing under the water. I reached out for him and pulled him under with me.

“I can’t believe you have so much skin care in here,” I said. “I’ll stay young forever at this rate.”

Rhys chuckled and reached for a wash cloth and bodywash.

“How did you sleep?” he asked as he began to scrub his body down.

“Really well… You?”

He yawned and smiled lazily again.

“I haven’t slept that well since…” He trailed off and asked me to scrub his back. It was a relief to no longer see physical marks of what Amarantha had done to him. But I knew better than to think her abuse was merely physical. I kept my free hand on his shoulder to lean on as I scrubbed his back.

We walked into the room in our towels and while I went through the dressers, Rhys went to the door. He flashed me a grin before he left the room, greeting Cassian and Az who were somewhere down the hall. I sighed and went to get dressed.

Rhys took a very long time getting dressed and fixing up his hair. I joined the others in the dining hall, blushing at the compliments Cassian and Mor gave me for the midnight blue crop top I’d worn with high waisted pants. It was long sleeved and had little silver moons on it.

They kept the conversation light, with Mor and Cassian teasing one another relentlessly while Az and Amren seemed content not to join in. Rhys showed up dressed more casually than I was used to seeing him and his hair was so perfectly tousled I wondered what the hell had taken him so long. His hair always looked like that.

“Face masks,” Cassian said with a smirk. Rhys ignored him. “Then comes the toner and serums, the whole thing.”

Rhys sighed as he took a seat by his cousin who had rollers in her hair.

“I suppose this means I’m cancelling our spa date, then?” Rhys asked as he served himself breakfast.

Cassian looked insulted. “_No_, absolutely not.”

“Spa date?” I asked.

“We lead very stressful lives,” Cas replied with a playful smile. “Mor dared us to go once and we’ve gone every few months since.”

Mor smiled at this. “They’re so much easier to live with after they’ve been pampered for hours on end.”

“So you _do_ live here? All of you?”

They all looked at one another and it was Amren that answered.

“No. We have rooms here, of course, but if I lived with any of them permanently, I would end up in prison again.”

“No one knows where Az lives,” Cas said rather brusquely. “I have an apartment near the Sidra.”

“I live here with Rhys,” Mor added. “Though we both have our sanctuaries away from here.”

“You mean to tell me there is somewhere more peaceful than here?” I asked incredulously.

“Yes,” Rhys answered. It seemed the black coffee he’d poured himself had started working. “I aim to show you just a few today.”

“Post dinner meeting then?” Amren asked and Rhys gave her a nod.

After breakfast, Rhys and I left together in his car. He drove us into the heart of the town before parking his car outside of some townhouses.

“There’s a lovely little café this way,” he said and took me by the hand, leading me away from his car. People wished him a good morning or waved from their store windows. Tamlin had always been avoided whenever we were out and I had never thought much of it. But it was evident that Rhys was loved here.

He bought us lattes and little coffee cakes before showing me the different stores he and his family frequented. There was a lingerie store he seemed to purposely avoid, and I had the feeling this was where most of my negligee came from. I simply smiled and let him lead me to the bookstore.

“So. That library,” I said as we walked inside.

“Is full of books from way before I was born.”

“Is this where you get the new stuff?”

Rhys chuckled and waved at the store owner as he led me to the back.

“Yes. This is where I get the new _stuff_. But I also come here for this.”

There was a room at the very back of the store with plush rugs on the floor and pillows of all kinds thrown about. There were several stacks of books and the walls were covered in pictures and paintings.

“Lucien and I would come here,” he said softly. “On weekends or holidays… Lucien didn’t like cutting class very often.”

Rhys looked at the room fondly.

“This is… I can see you two here.” He smiled, sadly, and I took his hand and leaned into him. We remained that way until he claimed he saw a book cover that caught his eye. I knew his smile was forced but I didn’t push the subject.

We browsed the shelves and left with a handful of books. He walked me by the river where people played instruments and danced. Even the children recognized him and greeted him. They teased him for ‘holding hands with a girl’ which amused him so much he was laughing.

And for the first few days, that was how it was. Rhys and I would fall asleep in my room talking and every day he brought me somewhere new. Cassian and Az kept me company whenever Rhys, Mor and Amren had to handle family matters. I learned rather quickly that Azriel was just as bad as Cassian with the jokes.

I also learned that Cassian and Az were taken in by Rhysand’s parents. Cassian was abandoned as a child and Azriel… I felt terrible at crying as he spoke of where the scars on his hands came from. The kind of life he had lived before Rhysand’s mother stepped in. He was surprised when I hugged him but Cassian seemed more surprised that Azriel allowed it.

Mor took me to get my hair done, a mani-pedi and hours of gossip and talking as though we had always known one another. I loved her already. Amren asked questions about my family, about Lucien and Tamlin. I didn’t mind telling her.

But then the week was coming to an end, and the thought of going back made me feel sick to my stomach. I didn’t want to go back but I knew that I couldn’t leave Lucien alone with Tamlin. And I missed him despite the very vague, very quick message he managed to send to let us know that he was alright. It wasn’t enough for me.

Rhys had walked me to my room hours ago, but I couldn’t sleep. I had barely eaten dinner, and was almost glad Rhys and the others had business to attend to. I was able to cry without worrying them. But I couldn’t cry anymore, and I kept contemplating how bad it would be if I just never went back. It was selfish to think that way.

I got out of bed and left the room, needing to move. Needing to breathe. If I went to the library, I could go sit out on the balcony. But then I heard the very faint sound of someone crying. I looked down the hallway, to where Rhysand’s room was. I considered walking away, but when I heard him say ‘no’, his voice so broken… I started running to his bedroom.

The door was unlocked and I let myself in before I could talk myself out of it. Rhys was on his bed, gripping the sheets. In the faint moonlight, I could see the tears streaming down his face. I hurried to his side and climbed onto the bed.

“Rhys,” I whispered. “Rhys, wake up.”

He spoke nonsense, but the anguish in his voice was too much. I carefully knelt beside him and put my hands on his shoulders. He stilled.

“Rhys,” I said. “Wake up.”

Rhys grabbed my arms and pushed me on my back. He held my arms above my head, his eyes closed but his face twisted in a scowl.

“Rhys, it’s me… It’s Feyre,” I said as calmly as I could. “It’s just a dream… You’re home.”

His brows furrowed in confusion.

“We made it out… And I’m here with you.”

Rhys breathed out and opened his eyes, still lined with tears.

“Feyre?”

“I didn’t mean to- I just… I heard you and-”

Rhys let go of my hands and sat up, looking around his bedroom as though he couldn’t believe he was truly here. I sat up and he looked at me suddenly, realizing it really was me.

“It was just a dream… A bad one… But it isn’t real,” I found myself saying.

“Did I hurt you?” He sounded so terrified it broke my heart.

“No, Rhys. You didn’t.”

He looked away from me and I closed the space between us, reaching out to touch his face. He closed his eyes and I quickly thought against it.

“Will you be alright?” I asked and Rhys nodded. So I climbed out of the bed and gave him one more glance. He was heartbreakingly beautiful.

I had almost made it to the door when Rhys called my name. I stopped and turned to find him looking at me.

“Please don’t leave,” he pleaded.

My heart was in my throat as I walked back to him. I sat at the edge of the bed and held out my hand to him. He bowed his head and began to cry, putting his hand over mine. When he tightened his hold on me, I shifted closer to him and Rhys let go of my hand to wrap his arms around me. The last time we had been like this, he had been unable to weep but here… I held him against me, rubbing his back and pressing kisses to his temple and the top of his head. Whispered words of comfort.

“I don’t want to bring you back,” he said at last and held me closer.

*

**The Present**

Lucien barely let the phone ring before I saw his beautiful face appear on my screen.

“What’s happened? Where are you?” he asked anxiously, and I sighed.

“A lot happened, Luce… But it’s over. For now. I’m in a guest room at Tarquin’s.”

“Are you not coming home tonight? Where is Rhys?”

I looked over my shoulder to where Rhys stood, leaning against the dresser.

“He’s right here.”

Rhys walked over and I turned to phone to allow Lucien to see us both. Lucien cursed and ran a hand through his hair.

“We’re alright, Lucien,” Rhys assured him. “There is much to discuss but I can’t leave here until we’re sure Royce and Tamlin aren’t hiding. There were many casualties. Varian was hurt, but he’ll be alright. Amren is with him.”

“And Cassian? Azriel?”

“Cas is fine. He caught a few of Hybern’s men and they’re all having a lovely chat with Azriel.”

Lucien rolled his eyes.

“Is your mother near?” Rhys asked and Lucien eyed him warily before nodding. He called for her and Aurelie, dressed in a pretty blue dressing gown, came to stand beside her son.

“I’m relieved to see you both unharmed.”

Rhys gave her a nod. “Eris was here.”

“Why?” came Lucien and Aurelie’s question at once.

“That’s what Az is trying to figure out… He’s the one who caught him.”

“Shit,” Lucien said under his breath.

“Considering my husband thinks Eris and I are still on our way home from Thesan’s… Good. Regardless of that, I don’t mean to sound selfish. This is for the best.”

“You do not sound selfish at all. I understand.”

I heard Helion calling for her and she quickly wished us a good night, leaving Lucien there slightly red in the face.

“They’re staying the night,’ Lucien muttered.

“I figured… She’s in pajamas, Luce,” I said and he rolled his eyes.

Cassian walked into the room and Rhys and I said our goodbyes to Lucien before following him out. The bodies had been carried away to god knew where- I certainly did not. We were led downstairs, the halls beneath his pretty palace were dark and had it not been because Rhys was holding my hand and Cassian was leading the way, I would never have purposely come down here. It reminded me of walking in the dark, of knowing I was being followed and had nothing to defend myself with. It was cold but it smelled like the sea. The walls and floors were slightly damp with humidity, it didn’t smell like refuse like the tunnels I’d run through had. And Rhys was here… _Rhys was here_. I had to remind myself of that the entire way, holding his hand tight. 

Tarquin was waiting for us in a softly lit room. Here, the room led out to other hallways but he stood before a single door, talking quietly with Cresseida.

“Good, you’re here,” Tarquin said once he saw us. We followed him into the room beyond that door and it was lit with a single lamp that hung from the ceiling. This room… it smelled like iron. Like the blood I saw on Azriel when he stepped into the light…

…And tossed a severed hand to the floor.

No one flinched, only I was startled by the sight. I could hear the muffled, agonized moans coming from somewhere behind Azriel. Eris was still alive. 

“He was ordered to kill my family,” Tarquin said calmly. Is that what it meant? I looked up at Cassian who gave me the barest of nods.

“They thought to begin their take over here,” Az said, his voice rougher than I was used to.

“They took my inexperience as weakness.”

“You are not weak,” Rhys said to his friend who clearly needed to hear it. Tarquin looked at Rhys with gratitude and went so far as to put a hand on Rhysand’s shoulder.

“Beron has sided with Tamlin and Royce,” Az continued. “Royce wanted you alone, Beron ordered the hit. To get on his good graces, no doubt.”

Tarquin nodded.

“Send him that hand,” Tarquin said to no one in particular. “I won’t waste blood rubies on him.”

*

An eye for seeing what they shouldn’t have. A tongue for a snitch. Hands for a thief- each hand meaning something different, as did each finger. A life for a life… But Eris still breathed because Mor allowed it. Azriel would personally bring him back to Velaris, to the Hewn City, which meant he was never coming out again.

“It’s the uglier side of this life,” Cassian said softly. He reached over and tucked an errant lock of hair behind my ear. “But it’s never done carelessly. At least not here.”

“I know…” I let out a sigh. “But, is Azriel going to be alright?”

This seemed to surprise Cassian.

“He will be,” he said after a time. “It does take its toll.”

In an attempt to lighten the mood, I asked, “Is this where your spa dates come in?”

Cassian chuckled and pressed a kiss to my temple.

Azriel had washed his hands and changed clothes but still wore the leather jacket similar to Cassian’s. There was a faraway look in his eyes as he walked to the table and poured himself a healthy amount of whiskey in a glass. Cassian poked my side before getting to his feet.

“I’ll go keep an eye on Rhys,” Cassian announced. “Can’t be too careful.”

Az was going to protest, but Cas looked at me with his brow raised. Az merely nodded. When Cassian left the room, Az sighed and came to sit beside me.

“Amren and Rhys are still locked in Varian’s room with Tarquin going over security measures as well as what to do with Eris.”

It took me a moment to understand what he meant.

“Will Kallias be content with his left hand? And there are other brothers.”

Azriel raised his brows and blinked.

“If Aurelie and Mor had not already laid claim to his life, Tarquin could’ve killed him, right? Cassian said that’s why you only gave him that. The right hand, I mean.” I sounded childish in my own ears, but Azriel slouched.

“That ass…”

“Was he not supposed to tell me?”

“No… No, it doesn’t matter who tells you. I just… I would have preferred it not to be _after_ you saw it.”

I offered him a soft smile and when I reached out to touch his face, he didn’t flinch. Didn’t move away, but leaned into my touch.

“I’m sure there’s more you have to teach me,” I said which made him smirk. “I owe you a few movie nights and morning runs.”

His hazel eyes met mine, and I was relieved to see them more alight than they had been when he walked in.

“I missed you, Feyre… Very much.”

“I missed you, too, Az. Very much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That scene in the book where Feyre wakes Rhys from a dream is one of my faves but I didn’t feel like making it exact same way. Also there’s no need for her to remark on his nakedness because we all know homie sleeps naked and he’s fine as hell. We’ll save all that gawking for when he’s not emotionally compromised. I’ve already planned THAT moment. So fret not. We’re not killing Eris so fast okay? He doesn’t deserve that. Also, without magic, Rhys doesn’t need an alliance with Beron or Tamlin. So- the both of them can and will get rekt. Soon. I also had to add an Az and Feyre BROtp moment.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fibro was bad this week. So this is late. 
> 
> Deviation from canon because with Feyre not being in love with Tam in this fic, a lot of shit doesn't fit.

**The Present **

The buildings in the Hewn City were so tall, you could barely see the sky. At night, it seemed as though you were inside of a black mountain, with its every street and home carved right out of the rock. Despite the depravity I knew its inhabitants were capable of, the city was beautiful in its own way. Rhysand had been horrified to bring me here in the beginning, thinking I would run. But no one in the Hewn City pretended to be anything but what they were unlike with Tamlin. Everyone was a snake.

Rhys preferred to keep his time here limited. Mor’s father, Keir, watched over the city in his absence. There was no such thing as ‘law enforcement’ here. Rhysand was the only true authority in the entirety of it and I knew they feared him, just as they feared Cassian and Azriel. Amren. Especially Amren.

Rhysand’s home here was at the very top of a skyscraper but where he held his ‘court’ so to speak, was as far removed from it as was humanly possible. We took an elevator down, the feeling making my stomach turn. The first time I’d come here… I’d understood why Rhys thought I would hate him. The role he played here inspired fear, but I loved him far too much and I understood. And unlike the first time I came here, where everyone believed me to be nothing but his plaything, just as they had when we were with Amarantha, I got to show them exactly who I was.

Keir awaited us with his usual sneer that quickly faded the second Rhys fixed his attention on him. Without a word, Keir turned on his heel and guided us to where Azriel was with Eris.

Eris looked like death. He was wearing a gag in addition to the binds on his feet. His right arm was draped over his chest, the bandages fresh around the stump of his wrist. His eyes widened when he saw us but once he saw his mother, he started to cry.

“Your tears will not save you, Eris,” she said somberly. “There is no forgiving what you’ve done.”

Lucien and Helion had both begged Aurelie not to accompany us here, but she insisted. Both father and son stood on either side of her, intent on protecting her. Comforting her. I had the feeling that after this, Lucien would be more open to the idea of Helion being his father.

A knock came on the door and Cassian stepped inside with Morrigan on his arm. True to form, she wore a red dress that hugged her curves and was far more lively than the occasion. But that was the point, neither Eris or Keir would ever get the satisfaction of seeing her any way else.

“I’ve thought about this day for a very long time,” Mor said softly. Cassian walked with her to join Azriel before he let her go. “How would I do it? Would I take my time? Or just get it over with?”

She walked around the table behind Az and Cassian and pulled away the black cloth covering the various knives and blunt objects that I knew would prolong his end. Even Keir looked rather pale now as she brushed her hand over them. She settled on a serrated blade.

“I’m not the only one who has a score to settle… So, how do we make sure everyone is completely happy?” she asked and I fought back a shiver at her tone. Her gaze fell on Aurelie who did not look like a mother about to witness the death of her son.

“My only wish is to see the ones who have harmed you pay their due,” Aurelie said and I realized she was not only speaking of Eris.

Mor gave Aurelie the softest of smiles before taking hold of the blade and making her way to Eris who began to shake his head, trying to get away from her. Cassian simply went to stand behind him and held the chair in place.

I don’t know what Mor said to Eris as she placed one hand on his shoulder but I know it surprised him. She drove the blade into his side and stepped away.

“Now you get to spend some quality time with Cassian and Azriel,” she said without an ounce of mirth and left the room. Aurelie followed after her with Lucien and Helion. Rhys gave Amren the okay to go with them. That left us with Keir.

“Eris is not one of ours,” Rhys said quietly as Az handed Cassian a knife. “I cannot use him as an example. As a reminder of what is coming to those who have harmed my cousin.”

“Is that a threat?” Keir asked, clearly taken aback.

“No. Think of it as a promise.”

“While you live your sheltered little life, playing make believe with your bastard friends, I am the one getting my hands dirty here. You have always thought yourself too good for us here-”

“Enough,” I said and he looked at me with disgust. “Or the first one to die will be you.”

Cassian undid the bindings and forced Eris on his feet.

“Az told me you talked shit the entire way here,” Cas said almost playfully. “Well, now you’re not tied up anymore. Go ahead, it’s more fun like this, anyway.”

Cassian handed him the knife which Eris was reluctant to take.

“Come on, fight me, Eris!” Cassian took Eris by the wrist and placed the knife in his hand. “I’m a bastard nobody, right? It shouldn’t be that hard.”

He pulled the gag out of his mouth and got in his face.

“Come on, Vanserra.”

Eris let the knife fall and Cassian pushed him so hard, I was surprised he didn’t fall. Azriel picked up the knife and gave it a toss, catching it by the handle.

“You know, brother, I think the knife is too easy,” Az said and flung it into the wall, barely missing Eris’s head. “He doesn’t deserve that.”

Cassian grinned and cracked his knuckles.

“Good, I prefer using my bare hands.”

*

Rhys was a mess, pacing back and forth in his bedroom. He’d emptied his stomach twice since we took the elevator up to his penthouse, refusing to go back to Velaris until Cassian and Az came back. Morrigan and Lucien had already drunken themselves into a stupor. His mother was out on the balcony with Helion, smoking to calm her nerves.

“Rhys.”

He let out a long sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. Lucien crossed his arms and hiccupped.

“Rhys, can you please come sit with us?”

“He was right, Feyre.”

“No, he wasn’t.”

“I’m supposed to be here.”

“Your parents didn’t raise you here for a reason.” I got to my feet and walked towards him. I took his hand and stopped him from moving. “They wanted you to be better than your uncle, better than they were and that is not a bad thing. This world could use more people like you.”

I kissed him and held my hand out to Lucien who reluctantly got up and came to me.

“You are worrying for nothing,” Lucien said and leaned into Rhys, forcing him to hold him upright.

“You’re drunk,” Rhys stated, as though this were somehow his fault.

“Ugly business, this,” Lucien slurred and pressed a kiss to Rhysand’s cheek. “But it is necessary. You are necessary- I mean, you are but that’s not what I meant.”

Rhys smiled at this.

”You made the right choice,” Lucien said as he closed his eyes, trying to focus. “Cassian and Azriel know what they’re doing. We all knew what we were doing- we chose this course of action.”

“So stop blaming yourself,” I added and Lucien gave me a grateful look before he pulled me against him, making Rhys lift his arm out of the way.

“Feyre and I can take care of the city,” Lucien said thoughtfully. “Can’t we, love?”

“Of course, we can.”

“Absolutely not,” Rhys said.

“Why?” we asked at once.

“That’s my job.”

“And we are your partners. We are in this together,” I said and Lucien nodded.

“Let’s argue about this when the world isn’t spinning,” Lucien grumbled and hid his face in Rhysand’s neck. Rhys chuckled and pressed a kiss to Lucien’s temple.

“Fair enough, fox.”

Later on that night, I grabbed a few blankets and carried them to Rhysand’s bedroom where he and Lucien were passed out with Cassian and Az on his enormous bed. I’d cleaned and wrapped their hands myself, talking senselessly about my childhood to keep them distracted. I picked up the bottles of whiskey and vodka they’d shared and threw those away and got rid of the wrappers and ash left on the nightstand. I’d smoked a bit with them, but left them to their devices to be with Mor. She was asleep in her room and still had music playing loudly. I gave them each their own blanket, knowing Rhys and Cassian were blanket hogs, and tucked them in. Az woke up, as I expected him to, the moment I sat next to him. He was a light sleeper, and it didn’t matter if he was drunk or high or anything- he was constantly hyper aware of his surroundings.

“Just tucking you in,” I said quietly and his brows furrowed.

“I’m older than you,” he said sleepily and I laughed.

“Could have fooled me.” I pulled the blanket up and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Go back to sleep. I’ll make sure there’s snacks when you wake up.”

“Honey buns and-”

“Hot fries. I know, Az. Don’t worry.”

He made a face but gave me a smile before closing his eyes.

*

**Five Months Ago**

“Please, Tamlin,” I begged, going as far as bringing tears to my eyes. “Let me help.”

“No, Fey,” he said once more and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s too dangerous.”

I groaned and crossed my arms.

“Everything is dangerous!”

“Yes! Yes, _finally_ you’re talking sense! I can’t let anything happen to you. I’ve got fucking feds on my back right now, babe. I can’t risk you getting caught in the middle.”

I chewed on my bottom lip and looked away, wiping at my eyes with the back of my hand. The restaurant in the city he used as a front had been raided just this morning. He had officials to pay off and god knew what else. He refused to tell me.

Tamlin walked towards me and set his hands on my shoulders. I did my best not to recoil when he pressed a kiss to my cheek.

“Please… Stay here. Lucien will watch over you. I don’t trust anyone else.”

I nodded, still not looking at him. He sighed, clearly exasperated, and pulled me in an embrace. Even that seemed forced. It seemed I wasn’t the only one faking.

“Why don’t you go paint something? Something nice for your sisters?”

“My sisters?” I looked up at him, my surprise genuine.

“When I come back- If everything goes well, I’ll take you to see them.”

“Really?”

He smiled and took me by the chin and kissed me. I was glad it was just a quick peck before he pulled away.

“Yes. Really.”

I took his hands and smiled brightly.

“Then hurry back. I know exactly what I want to paint Elain!”

He laughed and my heart tightened in my chest. He still looked and acted like the Tamlin who hadn’t become the controlling, violent asshole he was. Tamlin gave my hands a squeeze before letting me go and called over Lucien and the others. I quietly left the room and made my way to the art room.

I taped watercolor paper to the table and found my brushes and paint. I poured water into two cups and sat down and mixed colors together until I was satisfied. I painted flowers, taking my sweet time with each petal. I had made two chrysanthemums by the time Lucien walked into the room.

“You and Rhys deserve Oscars,” he said with a sigh. I giggled.

“Thanks?”

Lucien came to stand beside me.

“You’re… chipper.”

“Chipper?” I snorted. “What? Elain will love this.”

“Feyre…”

“Yes?”

“What are you up to?”

“I’m painting flowers for my sister. She’s going to love them.”

“You know Tamlin is full of shit.”

“Mhm.”

Lucien put his hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him.

“Feyre, whatever you’re doing please just… Be careful.”

“Tamlin wants you to look after me, right?” I asked and he rolled his eyes but nodded. “So, hang tight. It takes a while to get these done. I fear you’re going to be rather bored.”

And he was. Four hours later, the paper was covered in four flowers and every petal detailed layer by layer. My fingers hurt but it was perfect.

“Lunch is ready,” Alis said from the door and I happily cleaned my brushes and dried them with the towel. Lucien locked his phone and together, we went to the dining hall, Lucien eyeing me curiously the entire way.

*

Lucien and I ate in amicable quiet. I’d asked Alis and the rest of the house staff to join us, but no one dared go against Tamlin’s rules. So Lucien and I sat at our usual seats at the table. I did my best not to look at my watch, or at the grandfather clock at the end of the room. I fought the urge to bite my nails and pull on the ends of my sweater. It was far too quiet here and it was not comfortable. I could hear the staff walking around, hear the guards talking outside the room. But then the clock struck one and I thought my heart my race out of my chest.

I grabbed my cup and brought it to my lips just as the sounds of the front door slammed open. I chugged down my drink as shouting broke out and quickly stopped. Lucien’s eyes widened and he got to his feet, pulling out a gun.

“Put that away,” I said and set my cup down.

“What?”

I wiped my mouth with a napkin and looked at the doors to find Cassian walking in with a grin on his face. He was holding rifles over his shoulder so casually, they could have been shopping bags.

“Hello, princess,” he said and I got to my feet.

“You’re late.”

“Late? By what, a few seconds?”

“Asshole,” I said and ran to him. He used his free hand to hug me tight and at last I could breathe.

“Ready?” Cassian asked and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“Yes.” I turned to Lucien who was staring at us with his mouth open. “Well, come on.”

Lucien rounded the table towards me and took my hand. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Leaving.”

“We don’t know when Tamlin will be back!”

I tugged on his hand.

“Come on, Luce,” I said and got to my tip toes and kissed him. “Trust me.”

When Lucien sighed, I knew I had him. Cassian threw an arm around his shoulder.

“Let’s go home. I hate it here.”

“Agreed,” Lucien muttered.

The guards were passed out on the floor, unarmed. What surprised me the most was finding Alis at the front door, holding a bag.

“Alis?”

“She’s coming, too,” Cassian said. “How else do you think we got in here so quietly?”

Alis shrugged. “You’re not safe here, Feyre… It was the right thing to do.”

I hugged her tight and then took her hand.

Outside, Mor waited for us in the driver’s seat of a black SUV.

“Get in losers,” she said with a grin. “We’re going shopping.”

Cassian scoffed but I could only laugh. Lucien and I sat in the back with Alis while Cassian took shot gun.

“Here,” he said and passed me a black bag. “Just in case.”

“Fucking hell,” Lucien said as I pulled out a gun.

“Alis, would you like one?” Cassian asked and she laughed nervously.

“Oh… I’m alright. I’ve got my own.”

“Alis!” I looked at her in surprise and she laughed.

“Can’t be too careful.”

Cassian held up a rifle and grinned.

“How do we feel about car theft?” he asked and Mor laughed.

“We’re stealing a car?” I asked.

“Where do you think this came from? I’m not a soccer mom,” Mor teased. 

“There’s a garage by the hospital where Tamlin keeps cars for this purpose,” Lucien said.

“We should key his cars,” Mor said, looking at me through the mirror.

“And slash his tires,” I suggested and she cackled.

“Alright,” Mor declared and playfully swatted the rabbit’s foot hanging from the mirror. “Let’s go fuck with Tamlin’s cars.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year you guys. 
> 
> I know this is really late but I was so sick I wasn't conscious for the majority of Christmas. It was bad. I'm still congested but much better now lol 
> 
> Since this is modern, the cauldron and all that bs makes zero sense here so I've omitted stuff and switched it around for it to make sense. Hybern has zero reason to go after Nesta if only to hurt Feyre because he's an ass. I also saw no point in using the Ravens if I hadn't killed Branagh and dagdan off.

**Five Months Ago**

I couldn’t help but smile as Mor and Cassian took pictures of themselves together, standing in front of the car they’d just keyed. Tires slashed. Glass broken. The hardest part was over and I could breathe.

Lucien whistled, bringing us all to look his way.

“GPS and mic are disabled,” he announced and tossed something on the floor before stomping down on it. “And now unable to be turned on from afar.”

“Good man,” Cas uttered with a grin. “Let’s get out of here.”

“I’ll take shot gun,” Mor said to him and playfully hit him in the rib with the end of her rifle. He laughed and followed her to the four-door pick up Lucien had broken into. He seemed less frazzled after our run in with the guards, though the fact that Cassian didn’t kill them didn’t relax him as much as I thought it would. But both guards were now on the roof, unconscious. Unarmed. 

I took Lucien by the hand and gave him a quick kiss and what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

We drove out of town without incident, Lucien growing more anxious by the minute.

“What’s wrong, Luce?”

He shook his head and looked out the window.

“I’m just worried.”

“It’ll be okay… We’ll be with Rhys again.”

He sighed. “I know that… But, Feyre… Once Tamlin realizes your gone, he’ll go after your sisters.”

Oh.

“About that,” I said and winced at the look he gave me. “Just… you’ll see.”

His anxiety was replaced by irritation. Especially when Cassian drove us right to the airport where Azriel waited for us. And with him, my sisters. Nesta was likely still in the car but Elain was with him, wearing his jacket with tears in her eyes. She sighed with relief once Lucien helped me out of the truck.

“Oh thank god,” she said and hurried over to the car. “Nes, Feyre is here.”

I didn’t hear what my eldest sister said. Az pulled me in for a hug and I was finally hit with the enormity of what we’d just done. I wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh.

I did both.

“Hey,” Az whispered. “It’s okay… We’ll get you home safe. I promise.”

I could only nod.

Lucien and I sat together on the jet, Elain giving up on talking to Nesta who was ignoring us all and going to sit with Azriel. Asking him about the pretty silver pistol he carried.

Cassian and I shoved so much gum in our mouths it was hard to chew it at first but then we started trying to blow a bigger bubble than the other as we took to the air. Mor laughed at us but quickly joined in. Alis fell asleep, clutching her bag to her chest.

I watched Azriel show Elain the pistol, now out of its holster. The grip had beautiful designs etched into it. Then Elain touched Azriel’s scarred hand and I saw the way he stilled. ‘Beautiful,’ she called his scars and I don’t think I’d ever seen Az look so surprised before.

I settled into my chair once Cassian decided to bother Mor and turned face Lucien who was staring out of the window.

“I can’t wait to see the look on Rhys’s face once he sees you,” I said and reached out to touch his face but Lucien leaned away. “Luce?”

“You planned this. All of this. Without me.”

“I didn’t want to… But how could I? I heard from you _one time_ while I was gone.”

“And when you came back?” He looked at me then and I leaned back. “How many times were we alone? Why didn’t you tell me?”

I fought the urge to look and see if the others were looking at us now.

“I wanted to… But it was easier this way.”

“For who?”

“That’s not fair.” I crossed my arms. “I didn’t argue with you when you risked your neck to make sure Rhys got me out of that wedding.”

“Feyre…”

“No! No. Be mad about it. Go ahead. But you better be mad at Rhys, too. This was his idea. Fuck me for wanting them to trust me with something.”

Even though she had ignored me all this time, I went to sit with Nesta who was doing a poor job of trying not to smirk.

“That’s who you went back for?” she asked quietly.

“Yes,” I replied. “He’s usually not this cranky.”

“I suppose I would be cranky too if I was alone while my girlfriend spent a week away with my boyfriend.”

“Hey, whose side are you on?” I asked and she snorted.

“You love him,” she said and I sighed.

“Yeah… I do.”

“And the other one?”

“Still in the works… But I know I never want to be without him. Without both of them.”

Nesta looked at me and then over at Lucien who was getting on his feet.

“I swear to god if you make up on this plane with me here, I will strangle you,” she said as Lucien walked past us.

“Go sit with Elain then,” I teased and Nesta smacked my arm as I got up and trailed after him.

Lucien pulled me into the bathroom before I realized what the hell had happened.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he held me in his arms. “I’m just being a jealous prick. I’m sorry.”

“I really didn’t mean to not tell you.”

“I know… This is typical Rhys. Fucking drama queen.”

I laughed and looked up at him.

“Truly, Feyre. I’m sorry.”

“Well. We’ll be home soon. You can make it up to me then.”

“Really?”

I laughed when he pushed me against the sink. He began to kiss my neck but I pushed him away.

“My sister will kill me.”

“And you’re not exactly quiet,” he teased and laughed when I pinched his side.

“Shut up.”

Hand in hand we walked back out only to find Cassian, Az and Mor standing around with Nesta and Elain.

“Fuck,” Cas cursed and handed money to Nesta who was smirking.

“I told you,” she said and held her hand out to Az who sighed.

“What the fuck?” I asked but Lucien laughed.

“That’s what being part of this family means,” he said as Nesta pocketed the money. “Having bets made on one another.”

*

**The Present **

Nesta turned a page to the book she’d been reading since we’d arrived at the library in Velaris. Rhysand had suggested I take her here, one of the city’s oldest sites, carved right into the mountain where the house was built on. She had been beside herself when we came back from Adriata but getting her alone at the house seemed almost impossible. She had found a book to read and I had chosen instead to lean over the balcony of the level we were on to look down.

Rhys said that Cassian would never ever go down there. Velaris was old, a city with a rich history that they honored and preserved despite the way the world changed. The legends of the monster down in the depths of the mountain was one such story and Cassian refused to go down there with me, no matter what I bribed him with. Rhys and I had only gone down a few levels, never more than that. But there was no monster down there, at least not the kind of monster from fairy tales. The worst kind of monster was always human. Cannibal. Serial killer. An escaped convict hiding where no one would dare go looking. Not even Rhys knew how true the rumors were, but someone did live down there. Hiding, but never doing anything worth locking them away for.

“Why didn’t you bring your sketchbook?” Nesta asked and I turned back to find her still looking at her book.

“I was hoping we would be talking by now,” I replied honestly and I saw her smirk.

“What about?”

“I don’t know… you? Why you’ve been so… distant.”

Nesta sighed and shut the book.

“I don’t know how to say it without sounding like I blame you for it.”

I turned completely and leaned back against the rail, crossing my arms.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Nesta scowled.

“I know that.”

“So what happened?”

Though I couldn’t see it from where I stood, I knew Nesta was tugging on the hem of her shirt.

“That night… when you came back for us.” She stopped and cleared her throat. I saw the fear in her eyes and knew.

“Who.”

She closed her eyes.

“When we moved into the estate… I started dating one of the guards. Tomas. It wasn’t anything serious. But I thought…” She laughed and shook her head, finally opening her eyes. “Tomas was one of the ones sent to take us back to Royce and Tamlin. He tried to force himself on me, saying he’d look the other way so I could escape with Elain. But I couldn’t.”

“So the blood on you that night…”

She nodded and finally looked at me.

“They saw his body and just walked over him before tying me up and blind folding me. Like he didn’t matter to them.”

“He didn’t.” Everyone was replaceable to Tamlin and Royce.

“And I knew if I told Elain, she would blame herself for convincing me to leave with her.”

“He was your boyfriend, Nesta… We don’t expect that from our boyfriends.”

Nesta nodded but then looked at me with a brow raised. There was rage in her eyes.

“He laid a hand on you?” she asked quietly and it took me by surprise.

“Not, not like that.”

She got up from her seat, the sound of the chair scraping against the stone floor jarring.

“I’ll kill him.”

“Thanks,” I said, and realized I was smiling. Nesta began to walk towards me, a small smile slowly blossoming on her face. But the front doors of the library opening so forcefully stopped her. We both looked up, as if we could see the top floor from here, listening. I heard the sound of something hitting the ground, a startled gasp.

“Where is she?” I heard a familiar voice say. Brannagh.

Nesta made to speak but I quickly silenced her. I reached for my gun, only to realize I hadn’t brought it with me. I cursed under my breath as I heard Clotho, the librarian, try to tell them that I’d left already.

“We need to go down,” I whispered to Nesta. “To the very bottom.”

“What? Why?”

“I can’t let them hurt the others. Or you. This is the best way out.”

Nesta looked up as we heard a sob before nodding. I took her hand and quickly, we began to run down. I cursed when we ran down the first set of stairs to the level below as the twins heard our footfalls. I pushed Nesta in front of me at the first gunshot. It missed her by a miracle.

“Stay close to the wall,” I said and once my sister was out of eye sight, I overturned the tables I passed, even the chairs. I caught up to her at the next set of stairs and holding hands, we made our descent.

The farther down we went, the darker it became. I knew that the restorations were unfinished in the lowest levels, but even here we had to avoid running into bookshelves and scaffolding, keeping the stone archways in place. I nearly slipped on wet stone but Nesta kept me on my feet. Behind us, or somewhere above us, the twins spat taunts and insults. Their desires to skin us alive. To take their time with us.

“Are you sure there’s a way out?” Nesta asked as the lights began to flicker. The next set of stairs was so smooth from overuse, we had to slow down to safely descend.

“Yes,” I replied, out of breath. “I think we’re almost to the bottom.”

A crash behind us renewed our strength to run. Even after the lights went out completely. I held out my free hand to make sure we didn’t run into things.

“Run all you like, Archeron,” Dagdan teased. “You’re not getting away from us this time.”

“I’m counting on it!” I shouted back. Nesta nervously laughed.

At the very bottom of the library- perhaps of the mountain itself, we saw faint light. There were several archways that led out.

“Go,” I told Nesta, pushing her towards the one where light flooded from the most. “Find Rhys. Anyone.”

“Feyre?”

“It’s okay… Just… Go.”

Nesta breathed out and gave me a tight hug before she ran off. I shook my hands and looked around. Where had Cassian seen the rumored monster of Velaris?

“Hello?” I asked softly. “I… I need help.”

Nothing. I sighed, hearing the twins getting closer.

“Please,” I said and hurried to hide behind a stack of books.

Just when I thought I’d truly fucked up, I heard a voice, rough with disuse. Right behind me.

“Such manners so rarely found from those who seek me out,” they said. Was this who Cassian found? Whoever they were, Cassian was terrified of them and I did not turn around. “Who are you? Who is chasing you?”

“I’m Feyre… Rhysand’s enemies are after me and I have no way to defend myself.”

“Rhysand? Are you his wife?”

“I will be. One day.”

“And what will you give me?” they asked.

“What do you want?”

“To not be alone.”

The softness in their voice was almost enough for me to turn around, but I didn’t.

“Deal.”

“Shall I kill them for you?” they asked.

“Please.”

The twins stepped into the room and began to push the stacks over until they came to the one I was hiding behind.

“Gotcha,” Brannagh said and I stepped back, two hands settling on my shoulders to keep me from falling as the stack was pushed down.

“Close your eyes,” I was told and I felt them let me go. Before I closed my eyes, I saw the twins look at whoever was behind me with utter dread.

And then the screaming started.

I nearly crawled out of my own skin when I felt hands on me again but it was only Cassian. Telling me not to open my eyes. Leading me away. When I saw light, I opened my eyes to see Rhys walking towards us.

“Take her home,” he said to Cassian and I heard the screaming stop. I took Rhysand’s hand and he kissed it before continuing on. Cassian put his arm around me and guided me up the stairs and just as we stepped out into sunlight, the screaming began anew.

*

Cassian poured Nesta and I copious amounts of whiskey. It didn’t escape me how she seemed to lean towards him, or the way he looked at her with such tenderness it tugged on my heart. She had found him first, I knew. She’d told him where to find me.

“Amren is making sure Royce isn’t here,” Cassian said. “Azriel is with Elain at the townhouse. Lucien Is rushing back from the airport with his parents.”

“Is this in retaliation for Eris?” I asked.

Cassian shrugged. “Eris couldn’t have been that important to Royce.”

We remained silent then. I finished my glass and Cassian poured me another but I didn’t touch it. Rhys stopped right before the open door of the room we were in… covered in blood. There was a dead look in his eyes. _You’d hate me_, he’d once said to me. Afraid of what would happen if I saw what he was capable of.

“What did you give them?” That tone… it was as if he was still stuck behind that mask he wore outside of our home. Outside of Velaris.

“They just wanted company. To not be alone.”

“Did you offer yourself?”

“No. God, Rhys, no. They weren’t specific about who or when.”

“Are they dead?” Nesta asked, clearly an attempt at cutting through the tension between us.

“Now they are.”

“Is Clotho alright?” I asked and Rhys nodded. “So what’s wrong?”

“Feyre,” Rhys said in disbelief. “What’s _wrong_? They went after you. They managed to sneak into my city, my home and go after you. After Nesta. What if Bryaxis wasn’t there? You were unarmed and-”

“Calm down,” I said. “It’s over. We’re not hurt.”

Rhys breathed in and let it out, looking at me and then at Nesta who was flushed from the whiskey. Her eyes were glazed over and when she wiped at them, I realized it was tears.

I forced myself to my feet and without a word, I made my way towards him. He flinched when he saw me reach for his hand so I retracted my own. I led him away from the others and to our bedroom. I started the shower and held the glass door open for him. He stepped in, shoes and all, and I followed after him.

He was quiet, far too quiet as I helped him peel off his clothes, all of it soaked through with blood. The rage in his eyes… It was unlike anything I’d seen before. He tried to stop me from scrubbing him down, wanting to do it himself but he barely had the strength to push me away.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“I’ll be better prepared next time.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

“You didn’t.”

“Will you look at me, please?”

I did.

“It was wrong of me to take it out on you… I am sorry.”

“I know,” I said and kissed him. “I love you Rhys.”

He closed his eyes and I kissed him again. I held his hands under the water and began to clean out the blood from beneath his nails.

“We might need to get a manicure,” I said and he chuckled.

“Feyre?”

“Hm?”

“You told Bryaxis we’re engaged?”

I blushed. “No. But they asked if I was your wife and I said I would be.”

He said nothing more but when I looked up at him, he was smiling.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had wanted to post yesterday but my dad is back in physical therapy so my Monday’s are now busier than usual. I’m his translator and at times caregiver when it comes to medication and doctor appointments. So until they give us a new day, Mondays will be busy and Tuesday/Wednesday might be the more usual update day though I will still aim for Monday. 
> 
> This is super fluffy, I honestly need it lol

**The Present**

“It’s been three days,” Elain said, her voice muffled by the hand she rested her chin on. Her nails were still stained red from the polish she’d removed.

“It isn’t easy, El,” I said back and slouched in my seat.

“I know…” She sighed. “I don’t mean to sound insensitive. I can’t even imagine… I mean, I can but- we both know Nesta handles things differently than we do. I can’t be alone when I’m scared.”

I didn’t miss the way her eyes trailed over to where Azriel sat with Cassian, the two in an argument over their card game. Lucien and Rhys were cheating, I knew, using this to their advantage.

“I can’t either.” Lucien caught me staring and smiled. Rhys noticed and gave me a crooked grin. They were there for me in the worst moments of my life… I sat up, abruptly, startling Elain who had been staring at Azriel. “I know what to do.”

“What?”

I motioned for her to come with me.

“Okay, boys,” I said loudly. “It is officially girls’ night.”

I kissed my boyfriends before leaving the room with Elain.

“Pity Mor isn’t here,” Elain mused. “Do you think she’ll be gone long?”

I shrugged. Mor had retreated to the family cabin to be alone. I knew Cassian visited and there was no way Azriel wasn’t keeping an eye on her. But she needed it. To be away from all of this after what had happened in the Hewn City. With Mor gone, Amren kept busy taking over for her.

We stopped in the kitchen for drinks and an armful of snacks before going upstairs to Nesta’s room. She answered the door quicker than anticipated- but I assumed that was because Elain mentioned donuts.

“The boys are killing each other over cards,” Elain said as she set the orange juice and champagne down on the coffee table in the little sitting area by the window.

“What’s with the champagne?” Nesta asked, wrapping her arms around herself. She was wearing a robe two sizes too big for her, and it swallowed her frame completely.

“Girls’ night,” I said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Elain began to make our drinks once she found glasses by the decanter. Nesta sat down and reached for the champagne and drank directly from it before handing it to a rather surprised Elain. I sat beside Nesta and I was immediately hit with a very familiar cologne.

“Shut up,” Nesta said and happily accepted the mimosa Elain gave her.

“I have not said anything.” I held my arms up in surrender.

“I saw the look on your face.”

“You smell good, Nesta. Is it a crime to think so?”

“It’s a crime to think what you’re thinking.”

Elain leaned over and actually sniffed, laughing when Nesta shoved her.

“I like that!” Elain said. “It’s unfair that men’s cologne lasts longer than perfume. You know, Azriel has a really nice one I stole from his room. Well, to steal would mean he didn’t see me just snatch it from his dresser.”

“And what were you doing in his bedroom?” Nesta asked as I handed her the box of donuts.

“Nothing,” Elain squeaked and chugged down her drink. She was blushing furiously.

“Yes. Just like Lucien and Rhys and I were doing nothing when you came by this morning.”

“You’re so gross,” Nesta complained and I laughed.

“No, really! Nothing. I made cookies that weren’t hard as rocks for once and I wanted to give him some.”

“I bet,” Nesta muttered and laughed when Elain kicked her.

“You two are horrible.”

“Stop pouting,” Nesta teased. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“And how might that be?” Elain asked.

“Sometimes, it’s like you just brought sunshine into the room- which I wholly agree with,” Nesta replied. “But sometimes, like a few nights ago at dinner, when you wore that little blue number- totally eye fucking you.”

“He was _not_!” Elain was red in the face.

“You’re no better,” Nesta continued.

“Can you blame me though?” Elain pleaded. “No one should look like that.”

At this, Nesta poured herself more champagne and gave a nod to Elain.

“I’m with you on that.”

“Have you ever watched them work out at the gym?” I asked to which both sisters shook their heads. “The three of them always end up shirtless.”

“Does Lucien not mind you ogling them?” Nesta asked in a teasing voice.

“If he’s not with them, he’s with me doing the exact same thing.”

My sisters laughed.

“So,” Elain said playfully. “Cassian?”

Nesta’s smile didn’t exactly fade. It became more… soft.

“It’s not like that,” she said quietly. “I’m just… grateful.”

“He found you,” Elain stated to which Nesta nodded.

“It’s… more than that but I guess that explains it best.”

“What do you mean?” Elain asked and Nesta sighed.

“He’s… safe. I don’t have to worry about anything happening to me when he’s around.”

Elain considered her for a moment.

“You know… I feel the same way about Azriel.”

*****

Nesta draped a blanket over Elain, our middle sister snoring slightly thanks to her awful position on the sofa. I quietly picked up the glasses and smiled when Nesta grabbed the empty bags and containers of snacks. Wordlessly we went down to the kitchen. Once everything was cleaned up and thrown away, Nesta leaned against the counter and let out a long sigh.

“I can’t tell her.”

“You don’t have to, you know.”

She made to speak but then looked away.

“I want to feel guilty that Cassian knows more than my own sister but…” Nesta sighed. “He knew. Somehow. I hadn’t said a word but he figured me out and I couldn’t lie.”

I walked over to her and put my hand over hers.

“And that’s okay, you know. We all have our secrets… I’m just glad you have someone to lean on. I’ve loved Cassian and Azriel since the day I met them. I trust them just as much as I trust Lucien and Rhys.”

Nesta turned her hand upwards so that she was holding mine. The sleeve of Cassian’s robe covered our joined hands and we both shared a laugh.

“I’ve been wearing this stupid thing to bed every night since… since that happened. I was so scared I couldn’t stop shaking and he brought it to me.” She laughed nervously. “I told him I wasn’t cold but it’s heavy… in a comforting way.”

I pulled Nesta in for a hug, surprising us both. But I held her, not able to speak a word until Cassian himself walked into the kitchen.

“Oh! Hugs!” He waltzed right over and wrapped his arms around us both.

“Oh my god,” Nesta growled. “Could you be any more childish?”

“Of course, I can.” He lifted us off the floor as if we were weightless and kissed my cheek. Nesta gave him a death glare and he grinned before kissing her forehead. He set us down after we both dug our fingers in his ribs.

I laughed at his expense before leaning into him anyway. Nesta was blushing furiously but didn’t shrug the arm he still had around her waist.

“I know I came in here looking for snacks,” he muttered with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “But I hadn’t expected to find them so soon.”

Nesta made a disgusted sound and I cackled.

“What are you two up to? Az ditched us already but we’re going to watch a movie.”

“Tell me we’re using the home theater!” I said and nearly jumped up. Cassian was going to say no but then my sister spoke.

“What theater?” Nesta asked, and I knew I had him.

With popcorn and sodas on hand, Cassian led Nesta and I to the home theater downstairs. Both Lucien and Rhys were already snuggled up under a blanket on the second row of stupidly comfortable seats. They both smiled bright when they saw me and between the two of them, I was relieved of our food and pulled in between them.

Once I saw that Nesta was sitting next to Cassian, the two casually exchanging insults and smiling about it- I allowed myself to relax. To enjoy this moment with my family. I had no idea what was coming next, but as long as they were with me, I knew I could face it.

**Five Months Ago**

Two cars awaited us at the airport. One driven by Nuala and the other… My heart raced at the sight of Rhys leaning against his car with his arms crossed. I ran to him, laughing when he picked me up and spun me around. He kissed me, setting me down before reaching for Lucien. I was stuck between them as they kissed, ignoring Cassian’s sounds of disgust. Once they broke apart to breathe, I took Rhys by the hand and took him to meet my sisters.

“Nesta, Elain… This is Rhysand,” I said, looking up at him with a smile. “Rhys, these are my sisters.”

Ever the charmer, Rhys gave them his signature grin before greeting them with a kiss to each cheek. He offered himself to drive them home and thanks to Cassian’s teasing, Nesta agreed.

Lucien took shot gun and I happily sat between my sisters in the back seat. Mor, Cassian and Az went with Nuala. The drive was peaceful, and Rhys pointed out different places to my sisters. I was surprised when he parked in front of a townhouse, much like he had the day he’d first brought me into town. Once we were all outside on the sidewalk, Rhys reached into his pocket and handed Lucien and I each a key.

Then, he led us all to the townhouse before us. He opened the gate and led us through the small stone pathway of the front lawn and up the stairs onto the porch. He unlocked the front door and led us inside.

“I bought this place some years back… Home away from home,” Rhys said and promptly showed us around. Once my sisters were settled in their new rooms, Rhys guided us to ours.

“This is it,” he said cheerfully. “That door over there leads to the bathroom and we have perfect view of the garden outside-”

Lucien pulled Rhys in for a tight embrace, catching him off guard. There were tears in Lucien’s eyes and I couldn’t even imagine what it felt like for him. After all these years, to finally be with the person he loved. I smiled and took a step back, wanting to give them a moment alone. But Lucien looked at me and raised a brow.

“Where are you going?” he asked and held out his hand to me.

“I thought you’d want a moment,” I said bashfully. “Alone.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Lucien said with a sniffle and promptly pulled me towards him. “That is sweet of you to consider such a thing but Feyre, it’s not just Rhys and I anymore.”

“He is right, darling,” Rhys added and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and leaned into him.

We heard someone pounding on the door downstairs and Rhys let out a long-suffering sigh.

“Let me guess,” I said as we reluctantly let each other go, “Cassian doesn’t have a key.”

“He does,” Rhys said. “But I told him now that you and Luce will be home, none of them can just barge in here.”

“Why not? Will we be busy?” I asked teasingly and Rhys blushed.

“I would hope so.”

“When do you know your family to not be nosy?” Lucien asked and Rhys chuckled.

“Right as always, Luce.” He took his hand. “Right as always.”

*

Dinner was loud, the dining room much smaller and intimate than at the big house. But I love it, loved it here with all of them. Even my sisters seemed a bit more comfortable than when we first arrived. I learned just how bad of a sweet tooth Azriel had once Cerridwen brought out a tray of mini cheesecakes for all of us and a regular sized one for _him_ alone. No one seemed surprised that Cassian made a fuss over it or that Mor still dug into his. I laughed when I was the only one Azriel offered some to, leaving Cassian and Mor utterly betrayed.

With a glass of wine in their hands, Rhys and Lucien disappeared for a while. I didn’t mind, I knew they needed it, even if they insisted that they didn’t. Azriel asked us if Rhys had shown us the garden and Elain perked up at this. The garden was beautiful, especially at night with all the little lights that illuminated the flowers and trees.

“Rhys got this place a few months after he took over his father’s place… He needed it,” Cassian said to me. We looked over at Nesta and Azriel, the two listening to Elain talk about the flowers she was currently admiring.

“He brought me here before,” I said and Cassian looked surprised. “He didn’t show me, he just parked his car right out front before we walked into town.”

Cassian laughed.

Lucien and Rhys emerged shortly after, Rhysand’s hair slightly more tousled than it had been before. Lucien gave me a quick kiss before he and Cassian went to talk to Az. Elain approached us to give Rhys her compliments on the garden.

“Elain likes to garden,” I said and she blushed.

Rhys gave her express permission to do with the garden as she willed.

“This is your home as much as it is ours,” he said and my sister grabbed Nesta and led her over to the roses. Rhys and I sat down on a stone bench, Rhys putting his arm around my waist.

“All is well?” I asked and Rhys nodded.

“One night is not going to make up for the years apart but… I’m hopeful.”

I reached out and twirled his hair, making him laugh.

“I bet you are.”

I noticed him blush.

“What?” I asked and he shrugged.

“Lucien made a rather lewd joke about us breaking in the bed,” he said with a smirk. “But when I told him that you and I hadn’t- Well, he felt guilty that you two already had.”

I was the one blushing now.

“Oh.”

Rhys kissed me.

“There is nothing to feel guilty about. I will tell you exactly what I told him, darling. We are together, no matter if we are apart. And that is all that matters.”

I leaned into him.

“Thank you,” I said quietly to him. “Not just for being so… understanding. But for getting us out… for bringing my sisters here. I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”

“Of course, darling. What’s important to you is important to me.”

I let out a shaken breath.

“We did this.”

He moved his hand up to rest at the nape of my neck and I adjusted myself to be able to look at him.

“Yes, we did… I never want to be without you. Either of you.”

I leaned in a little closer.

“Keep talking like that, I might just fall in love with you.”

He grinned.

“And I will be there to catch you.”

I kissed him suddenly, feeling him smile before he kissed me back.

“And Rhys?”

“Hm?”

I placed my hand on his cheek.

“All I want is this, to be next to you. It’s enough for me- _you_ are enough.”

Rhys kissed me this time with such fervor I was blushing furiously when we stopped to breathe, my heart racing in my chest. “I don’t know how much we can get away with tonight,” Rhys whispered into my ear. “But I can think of a thing or two to properly welcome you home.”

“_Rhys_.”

He chuckled and pressed a kiss to my neck before calling Lucien over.

“Yes, dear?” Lucien asked.

“Still up for breaking in that bed?”

He laughed when I smacked his arm. Lucien coughed and looked back, as though to make sure no one heard him.

“Are you… in the mood for that?” Lucien asked him softly.

“I’m in the mood for dessert,” Rhys said with a grin. “I know exactly what I want to eat.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in the ‘past’, i didn’t bother writing the first time in the Hewn City. It’s mentioned but that’s it. in the ‘present’, there’s a bit that doesn’t happen in canon once Feyre is back in Velaris in ACOWAR but I felt it was better there.

**Four months ago**

Rhys trailed his fingers down my spine, chuckling at the way I shivered. I looked at him through narrowed eyes, that stupid smirk of his making me feel too many things at once. I ran my hand down his chest and then pinched his side, laughing at the way his eyes widened in surprise. I wasn’t surprised when he started to tickle me, and when I slid off of him and onto the bed, he moved so that he was hovering over me. He used one hand to hold himself up while he tickled me with the other.

“Stop!” I shrieked and he did, breaking my heart at how quickly he responded. Catching my breath, I pulled him down for a kiss.

“Are you two going to stay in bed all day?” Lucien said and we both looked to find him walking into the room with a towel on. Before we could answer, Rhysand’s alarm went off- his last alarm before Amren came looking for him.

“Fuck,” he said with a groan and rested his head on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair and tugged gently.

“Go. I’ll just distract you.”

He hummed his agreement before pushing himself up, and like the insufferable prick that he was, pushed himself down to kiss me the way he did when we went to the gym. When he wasn’t doing push ups and planks with me under him, he carried me on his back to do pull ups. Lucien rolled his eyes but I saw the smile blossoming on his face.

With one last kiss, Rhys left the bed and walked over to give Lucien a fervent kiss before he locked himself in the bathroom.

“And just like that,” Lucien said with a sigh, “We lost him.”

Amren came for Rhys just as he’d put his shoes on.

“You’re late,” she said and he grinned.

“Amren, come on. First you complain I don’t sleep enough, and now I’m sleeping too much? Which one is it?”

She scoffed. “I know you’re not sleeping.”

She looked at me and Lucien and while I tried not to laugh, Lucien turned red in the face. Rhys and I still hadn’t had sex, but we didn’t have to. Between the things he did with his mouth, his hands- I was more than satisfied. The closest we’d come to having sex had been after leaving the Hewn City. He had taken us there for the first time, having Lucien sit beside him with me perched on his lap while he listened to and argued with his capos and dealers, with those responsible for the uglier side of this world. And the things we did all the while… Every time I thought about it, it left me blushing.

“I have some business to do with Az,” Lucien said, bringing me from my thoughts.

“Oh, yeah. I’m taking my sisters out for a while.”

Lucien came towards me and sat down, leaning in to kiss me.

“That sounds like a good day then.”

“Be careful,” I said to him and he kissed me again.

After getting dressed, I met my sisters down in the entrance hall. I was surprised to see Rhys there, chatting with Elain with his hands in his pockets. Why he would ever feel nervous about talking to Elain was beyond me.

“Darling,” he said once he saw me and hurried over to help me down the last few steps. I allowed it, if only because I would never tire of his ridiculous manners and the way his hand felt holding mine.

“Already done with Amren?” I asked.

“Of course not,” he replied cheerfully. “Think of this as a break.”

I snorted.

“Well. I’m leaving.”

“I know,” he said and reached into his pocket. “That’s why I’m here.”

He pulled out his wallet and I saw him pull out money before he said something under his breath and put it back and take the card out instead.

“Enjoy,” he said and when I didn’t take it, he raised a brow.

“Rhys… I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I… I haven’t earned that.”

He sighed. “Nonsense. You are my girlfriend, are you not? Indulge me, please?”

When I took it, he put his hands on my shoulders and kissed me.

My sisters were looking at me with shit eating grins when Rhys walked away, giving us a wink.

“Shut up,” I said as I opened the front door.

Hours later, my sisters and I stopped at a little restaurant by the river to eat a very late lunch. We ate outside, our arms aching from holding the bags of clothes and books we’d bought. I had text Rhys the first time, telling him what I’d bought and he’d text back telling me to stop worrying so much and do whatever I wanted.

Elain’s phone began to ring and she let out a nervous laugh.

“I’ll be right back,” she said and Nesta merely raised a brow at her but waved her off. Elain got up and crossed the street. We heard her say ‘hello’ but she began to walk away.

“I bet it’s that stupid boyfriend of hers,” Nesta said.

“Grayson?”

Nesta nodded. “He’s not exactly happy that she’s here.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Anyway. I’m honestly surprised with you and Rhys.”

“Why?”

“He’s a giver. As you are. You’ve always went for selfish bastards who took too much.”

I blushed.

“He was telling Elain about a flower shop in need of a florist. The owner is getting too old to run it.”

“He offered her a job?” And a mundane one, at that. Tamlin would have had her at another front or something pointless, but for his benefit. Not hers.

“He asked what I’d been going to uni for. He said he could pull strings and transfer everything here so I could finish.”

“And what did you say?”

She shrugged. “I’d think about it.”

Well. That explained his nervousness.

“He didn’t tell me that.”

“No?”

I shook my head.

“Does it bother you? I know how stubborn you are.”

“No… I think it’s sweet.”

Elain walked back and wiped her hands against her jeans before sitting down.

“What’s sweet?” she asked breathlessly. Her nose was red.

“That Rhysand offered to help us out,” Nesta replied. “Why were you crying?”

“What?” Nesta gave her an incredulous look. “Oh, nothing really. I just got emotional over missing Clare’s engagement party.”

“Clare Beddor?” I asked. “She stopped talking to us after you started dating Grayson.”

“Yes, well. It just made me homesick is all.”

Elain was quiet for the rest of the day, not even laughing at Cassian’s stupid jokes when he picked us up after I called him to come get us. He made a grand show of grabbing all of our bags at once and bringing them to the trunk in one go to which Nesta rolled her eyes and from then, Cassian seemed determined to annoy her.

Nesta came to watch tv with Cas and I as Elain had locked herself in her room. Nesta didn’t believe Clare had called her, but Grayson, and Elain asked to be left alone after Nesta expressed how little she thought of him. They didn’t fight, not often, but I was glad that Nesta would choose to be with me instead of staying alone with her anger that I knew would become guilt before the night was up.

Rhys, Lucien and Az joined us once they were home. Dinner was eaten on the sofa and floor, the normalcy of it something I was still getting used to. I’d never truly known what it was like to feel ‘at home’ until I met Rhys and his family. And what was better, that my sisters were getting to experience this, too.

Or at least, that was what I’d thought.

The next morning, Az woke us up, knocking on our bedroom door. I slipped out of bed while Rhys and Lucien rubbed sleep from their eyes. I grabbed Rhys’s shirt off the floor and put it on before answering the door.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Elain and Nesta. They’re gone.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry Feyre. Elain said she was going out with Nesta for a while and then barely half an hour later, I got a call that they were boarding a plane.”

My heart sank in my chest and I rushed over to Elain’s room. Her bed was made. Her closet and dresser still full of clothes. Nesta at least had taken some of her things, except for the book we’d bought yesterday. I opened it up and tears burned my eyes as I read the note.

_Feyre, she begged me to come with her and I couldn’t say no. I don’t trust Grayson, but this is what she wants and I need to be there. I know Rhys and Lucien will take care of you. All of them will. I have to do the same for her. _

_I’m sorry. _

**The Present**

It was a lovely day. Truly. From the balcony on the second floor of the townhouse, I had a perfect view of the garden where Elain was- with Azriel. I had come outside first, so they both knew I was up here. I was tempted to sketch them together, but they’d kill me. So I simply sketched the big house the way I saw it from down here.

“There you are,” Rhys said, “I’ve been looking for you.”

I rolled my eyes and kept sketching.

“Shouldn’t you be working?”

Rhys walked over to me and sat down beside me on the bench.

“Technically, yes.”

“But?”

He put his hand around my waist.

“But I want to spend the day with you.”

I looked at him, finally tearing my gaze away from my sketch.

“Really?”

“Is that so surprising?” He kissed me and I laughed.

“No… Does Amren know?”

He chuckled at this.

“Of course, she does. So, darling. I had some thing I wished to do with you today.”

I raised a brow but let him help me to my feet once he stood up.

“Like what?”

“First, finding Lucien.”

“And then?”

He shrugged. “Who knows?”

I laughed but noticed the way he put his hands in his pockets.

Lucien was in the office, dealing with all the financial things that Rhys hated. He was all too happy to set it aside for the day. He took us to the bookstore he and Lucien loved so much, to Rita’s for lunch before we danced to the songs Lucien picked from the jukebox. Then we walked towards the Sidra, Rhys holding Lucien’s hand while putting his other arm around my shoulders.

“I love you both very much,” he said softly.

“I love you, too,” Lucien and I said in unison, bringing us to laugh.

“Truly, I don’t know what I’ve done to merit waking up beside you every day.”

“Rhys! You’re going to make me cry,” I said and playfully nudged him.

“That is not my intention, darling.”

“I’m just happy we’re together at last and nothing is going to separate us again,” Lucien mused. “Never again.”

Rhys kissed Lucien’s cheek.

“Agreed, my love,” Rhys said to him.

The Sidra was glittering in the sun and I decided I’d come back here with my sketchbook and paint to capture it.

“I love it when you make that face,” Rhys said. “I can’t wait to see what you’re going to create.”

I blushed.

Rhys sighed when we made it up to the bridge and I leaned in to him, smiling at how he kissed the top of my head.

“You know, Feyre-”

Azriel’s motorcycle speeding towards us cut him off. He skidded to a stop and quickly pulled one of two rifles over his shoulder and held it out to Rhys.

“Hybern’s men are here,” he said in a rush. “Cas and Mor are already out there, trying to keep them from getting this far into the city.”

“Fuck,” Rhys cursed. “Of course, it had to be the one fucking day-”

He let out an irritated sigh and reached into his jacket. He handed me his pistol.

“You and Lucien... I hate leaving you, but I need your help out here. Catch any who gets past us.”

“Of course,” I said as I accepted it. “Do we have eyes on the river?”

“Yeah,” Az replied, “Amren is taking care of the river side.”

Rhys kissed us and got on Azriel’s motorcycle and Az sped off, weaving through the streets and barely avoiding oncoming cars and passersby.

I looked at Lucien who already had his gun out.

“Ready?” I asked.

“No,” he replied and took my hand. “Let’s go.”

Seeing our home like this… windows broken. Injured people wailing on the streets. Hearing the screaming, the gun shots- I was seeing red. The audacity of that bastard…

I ran out of bullets by the time I saw the little restaurant we’d just been in hours before. I put it away and crouched down, pulling out the knife out of where I’d hidden it in my boots. Lucien focused on those in the distance while I went after the ones within range.

I let my rage guide me, my knife finding home in one man’s ribs, another man’s stomach. Another man’s neck. One after the other until I was going after them instead of waiting for them to try to creep up on Lucien. Lucien who had picked up another pistol along the way and was firing away.

I didn’t stop- couldn’t stop, until Lucien himself pried me off a man I’d tackled to the ground. The sound my hand made when I let go of the knife still imbedded inside of him was sickening.

“It’s over, love,” he said. “It’s over.”

I breathed out, looking around and being met with the sound of weeping.

“Are you hurt?”

The question gave me pause and I looked up at him, confused before looking down to see my hands.

“Feyre!”

I looked to see Rhys running towards us with something like fear in his eyes.

“Darling, are you hurt?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Rhys pressed a kiss to my temple before pulling Lucien and I into his arms.

“Let’s get you home. Madja is on her way,” he said and I let him lead me away.

At the townhouse, my sisters wept when they saw me. I tried to take off my jacket and gasped, both Rhys and Lucien stopping dead in their tracks.

“What is it?” Rhys asked.

I lifted my shirt and heard them all curse.

They led me to the kitchen and there, Rhys helped me out of the jacket. Carefully, he lifted me onto the counter to sit before pulling up my shirt enough to look.

“It isn’t deep,” Rhys said with a relieved sigh.

Lucien slumped down onto a chair and took his jacket off while Elain brought out whiskey and glasses. Madja arrived and quickly shooed Rhys away. She cleaned the wound and after I took a shot of whiskey, she started stitching me up. I noticed how Nesta was looking at the entry way, as if she was waiting…

When Cassian came back, he looked as bad as I did. I could tell he’d used his bare hands at one point and Nesta scolded him for it before forcing him to sit and let her tend to him. Az came back bruised but otherwise unharmed and Amren, she simply looked mildly inconvenienced.

“This is a second time Hybern gets passed our security,” Az said and I knew he was blaming himself.

“They had more men,” Amren said. “Our security shot down three vans full of men, and took down every last one of them. If not for them, this would have been worse. Without you sending Cassian and Mor to the city limits, it would’ve been worse.”

“It still shouldn’t have happened,” Az growled and she let out an exasperated sigh.

“Helion and the others know what happened,” Mor said as she sauntered into the kitchen. “They all offered to help with damages and the like.”

“They can help us kill every last Hybern piece of shit left,” Rhys said and got to his feet. “I’m done waiting. We take this fight to them. I can’t do this anymore.”

“We need to assess the losses here first,” Cassian said in a tone that brokered no argument. “We can’t run off and leave our people like this.”

“I know that,” Rhys said. “I just…”

He looked at Lucien almost longingly before looking at me. He was… disappointed?

“This isn’t the first time Velaris has taken a hit,” Cassian reminded him. “Your father made sure we could rebuild. We’ll do the same, just better.”

I winced when Madja began to bandage me up.

“No strenuous activity of _any kind _for at least a week. No heavy lifting lest you risk opening the stitches up. I can give you something for the pain.”

I looked over at Az before giving her a smirk.

“That’s okay. I’ve got that covered.”

Madja looked back at Az, at Cassian then Rhys.

“Oh, I am sure you do.”

I slid off the counter and earned a glare from Madja as I approached Lucien and Rhys.

“Give me an hour,” Rhys said to no one in particular. He took my hand as the others made noncommittal sounds.

Upstairs, he and Lucien helped me out of my clothes and sponge bathed me. Rhys helped me into bed before going to open the windows while Lucien rolled up.

“I have to go,” Rhys said sadly. He touched my face and sighed. “I’m leaving Az here with you.”

“Be careful. Please.”

“Of course, darling.”

Rhys kissed me before getting up to go kiss Lucien goodbye. Once he left the room and closed the door, Lucien grabbed the lighter and crawled into bed with me.

“I hate seeing him like this,” Lucien said as he lit the blunt. “Like this is somehow all his fault.”

“He and his brothers have that in common,” I said, smiling when Lucien took the first hit.

“Here, you need this more than I do,” he said as he passed it to me. He put his arm around my shoulder while I smoked. I wanted something to fill the silence, but it felt wrong to drown out the sounds of the city outside. The crying. The debris being moved out of the way. Ambulances racing through the streets. When I started to cry, Lucien pressed kisses to my temple.

Lucien and I woke up hours later to Rhys closing the bedroom windows. He was wearing a towel, his hair still wet from the shower.

“You’re home,” I said and he gave me a soft smile.

“Go back to sleep, darling.”

I shook my head and when I tried to push myself up, I remembered the stitches.

“You torture me,” Rhys said and came to help me up. Lucien remained on his side but through an arm over my legs.

“So… how bad is it?” I asked.

Rhys sighed. “Darling…”

I reached out for him and he took my hand.

“We can talk about it tomorrow.”

Rhys gave me a grateful smile before going off to get dressed. He slipped into the grey joggers that matched the ones Lucien was wearing. He sat down on the edge of the bed and both Lucien and I went to sit on either side of him. He bowed his head and I wrapped my arms around his while Lucien rubbed his back.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice rougher than I was used to.

“Rhys… There’s nothing to be sorry for,” I said.

“You did nothing wrong,” Lucien added.

“I just wanted today to be… special for you both.”

I kissed his shoulder. “It was special, Rhys.”

“No, I know it’s just that-” He scrubbed at his face before sitting upright to run his fingers through his hair. “There was so much more I wanted to do… to say.”

“You can say it now,” I said sweetly and he looked at me and finally smiled.

“I don’t think so, darling.”

“Why?”

“Because murder isn’t exactly romantic, is it?”

I shrugged. “If you murder the right person, I’d be all over you.”

Rhys chuckled.

“Perhaps another day.”

“Come on! What could possibly be so important that you’d wait for it to be-”

I stopped, realization hitting me so hard I breathed in sharply. I looked over at Lucien who seemed to have realized it, too. With a resigned sigh, Rhys got up and we watched him walk into the bathroom. He came back with the jacket he’d worn today and fished through the pockets before setting it aside. With two very small black boxes in hand, Rhys sat down on the floor in front of us.

“I’d planned the entire thing… I didn’t want to wait for this to be over because as today proved, we have no certainties in this life.” He set the boxes on his lap and opened them before holding them up to us, allowing us to see what was inside. My eyes blurred with tears at the sight of the grey diamond set in a silver and gold band, just like Lucien’s. “This isn’t the way I pictured doing this… You two deserve so much more.”

“Well, if you ask me,” I said, “I think this is perfect.”

“So very like us,” Lucien added. Rhys sniffled and smiled.

“Lucien… Feyre… Will you marry me?” Rhys asked.

“Yes!” Lucien and I said at once. Rhys moved closer to me and slid the ring onto my finger. It was perfect. I kissed him before wrapping my arms around him as tight as I could. Then he went to Lucien and slid the ring onto his finger. Lucien nearly tackled him to the floor. He kissed Rhys fervently, until the two broke apart and looked my way.

“Already planning on going against the doctor’s orders?” I asked. By the way they grinned, I knew the answer.


	21. Chapter 21

**The Present **

“This is absurd,” Lucien said, hands on both hips. “Even for you, Rhys.”

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh. Lucien looked at me and I feigned innocence.

“We all decided on taking the fight to them. I’ve waited enough and look! Feyre got hurt. My family was attacked, I’m not giving them another chance.”

“But in the cover of darkness-”

“They’ll be expecting us to come in the night,” Az interrupted, Lucien looking at him as though he’d been betrayed. “His security is higher at night. With the element of surprise on our side, he wouldn’t be able to call in reinforcements.”

“But what if he does?” Lucien pressed on. “Am I truly the only one who thinks this is insane?”

“Oh, it is,” Cassian said from where he stood, leaning against the wall. “But I would rather follow Rhysie where I can watch his back than find that he’s gone alone because we insisted on taking the ‘safer’ way out.”

Rhys and Lucien looked ready to go at it again, but Amren got to her feet and everyone went still.

“We take them by surprise,” she said and before Lucien could protest she added, “Kallias is moving in on Beron with Aurelie and Helion. Tarquin is waiting on us- he’s closest to where Hybern and Tamlin are hiding out. Thesan is sending men to help as well.”

She looked at us all, giving us a chance to speak and when no one spoke she looked my way.

“Are you certain you’re going with us?” she asked, her grey eyed gaze falling down to where I’d been hurt.

“Yes,” I said.

Mor let out a sigh as she rose to her feet.

“Let’s get on with it then,” she said. “I have a wedding to plan.”

I smiled, noting how Lucien and Rhys seemed a little less tense because of her words. They came to my side, wrapping me in a tight hug.

“Are we done arguing?” I asked quietly and Lucien snorted.

“Absolutely not,” he said to which Rhys chuckled. He kissed us both.

“I expect nothing less, fox,” he said affectionately. “Hold onto that… Give me something to look forward to.”

I laughed, especially when the two kissed, squishing me between them.

“Let’s leave these lovebirds alone,” Cas said playfully, and one by one, they left the room, Mor winking at us before closing the door.

Rhys let out a long sigh.

“Luce… I can’t do this if you’re against it.” His voice was far softer than it had been before.

“But Amren-”

“Will adjust our plans as needed. Just… I need you. Both of you. If you’re not confident in this plan, we change it.”

“I have every confidence in you, love,” Lucien assured him. “I will follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked, but you need to go in there level headed. We all want this to be over, but not at the cost of losing you.”

“We’re not doing this alone,” I reminded them. “It’s a risk no matter what but our family is worth it.”

*

The estate in which Hybern and Tamlin were hiding out in was close to the forests of the Vanserra territories. Close but still under Tamlin’s control. It was a beautiful house, surrounded by a stone wall with only one entrance.

“Security system is disabled,” Az said through the ear piece and I jumped when his voice grew nearer. “I’ve got eyes on his guards.”

“How do you always do that!” I hissed. He smirked.

“He’s a fuckin’ wraith,” Cas said and threw an arm around Azriel’s shoulder.

“So, are we ready?” Rhys asked. He looked at everyone who merely nodded. The way he kissed me then left me breathless, unsteady almost. I watched as he kissed Lucien in the same manner, offering him a smile when he pulled away.

“We take no survivors,” he said and led us to the gates.

Whatever sabotage Azriel had managed allowed us to slip right through the now unlocked gates. Azriel disappeared once more, and the closer we got to the house, I began to hear when bodies fell. The first guard we passed had been shot right between the eyes.

The others were mostly the same. Quick. Efficient. And as Rhys said, no survivors.

Amren quietly unlocked the front door, only to find herself facing a guard and before he could shout, she’d lodged a blade in his throat. She grabbed his rifle before he fell onto the marble floor. She looked back at us and grinned.

“We’ve got company,” she said and pulled out her blade and made a run for it.

Lucien and I covered Rhysand’s back, with the others taking off down separate wings. Cassian went off with Mor and Tarquin while Varian followed Amren with Cresseida.

“Still no sign of them,” Cas said through the ear piece.

“Az?” I said quietly and my heart nearly dropped at his silence. But before I could freak out, I heard him curse.

“It’s like he has every single one of his men here,” he said.

“Why do you sound out of breath?” Mor asked and I knew Azriel was rolling his eyes by the exasperated way in which he sighed.

“Why don’t you run around the mansion and come climb up to the roof, Mor?”

“No thanks,” she replied and then, “Well, this might be my lucky day. Hello, Elias. Long time no see.”

I heard him scream before she shut her ear piece off, shutting us out.

We followed Rhys up the stairs to find Ianthe stepping out of a room with two guards. Lucien wasted no time in shooting both men, leaving her alone.

“Tamlin!” she shrieked, taking a step back. “Get out here!”

Guards rushed out to meet us, guards I remembered who had looked the other way when Tamlin would push me around. When he would fight with Lucien. While Rhys and Lucien dealt with them, I went after Ianthe. She tried to hide in a room but I pushed the door, keeping her from closing it. Her mutilated hand didn’t do her any good to fight back. She nearly lost her footing as I put my rifle behind me, reaching into my pocket for the brass knuckles Cassian had given me.

“Tamlin and Hybern are going to kill every last one of you,” she spat, walking back. I wasn’t blind, I saw the pistol on the table she was trying to get to. Her eyes widened as she watched me slide the brass knuckles on. I walked towards her, ignoring her petty insults and attempts at distracting me. She hit the back of the table, frantically trying to reach for the pistol without turning her back on me.

“I know everything you did to Lucien,” I said quietly. “Amarantha didn’t die the way she deserved, there hadn’t been enough time.”

I dared to look back, listening to the gun shots and shouting. I looked at her once more.

“But I have time for you,” I said and lunged at her.

*

My heart dropped when I walked out of the room to find Lucien pinned beneath Tamlin in the middle of the hall. The guards were all dead and Rhys… Where the hell was he? They were moving too much for me to get a clear shot so I made a run for it and tackled Tamlin, getting him off of Lucien. The brass knuckles made a disgusting sound when my fist connected to his face.

“You fucking bitch,” he snarled and hit me so hard in the ribs that I gasped for air, unable to keep him from pinning me to the floor. He wrapped his hands around my neck and he wouldn’t let go, even as I dug my nails into his hands.

And then I saw Lucien come up behind Tamlin and he grabbed him by the hair so forcefully, Tamlin let me go. He tried to twist out of Lucien’s hold but Lucien already had a knife against his neck and the more he struggled, the more he bled. There was a cold, distant look on Lucien’s face- but the moment Tamlin tried to speak, it faded into something more like anger. Lucien passed the knife across Tamlin’s neck, those green eyes widening in shock as he tried in vain to fight it. Lucien shoved him aside and tossed the knife, immediately came to me, cradling me in his arms.

“Where are you hurt?” he asked.

“Where’s Rhys?” I was wheezing.

Lucien cursed. “He ran after Hybern, Tamlin kept me from following.”

“Help me up,” I said and then tried speaking through the ear piece. But something was wrong.

“They must have interfered with the signal,” Lucien offered but that didn’t feel right.

Together, we made our way down the long hallway, checking the rooms as we went.

“I don’t hear the fighting anymore,” I managed to say and Lucien eyed me warily.

“Good. The sooner we find Rhys, the sooner I can get you to a doctor.”

I didn’t have the energy to protest.

We barely found any opposition as we entered the grand library of the estate. The windows were open, the drapes billowing in the breeze. And it was so _empty_, I fought down a chill that had nothing to do with the cold air. The tables and chairs were covered in white sheets and there were no signs of struggle, not like the rest of the mansion.

“They have to be here,” Lucien whispered. “There is nowhere else to go.”

_Except over the railing_, I thought, looking at the veranda beyond the open doors.

But Lucien was right. A few stacks of books had been knocked over, discarded weapons scattered on the floor and Rhys…

Rhys was on his knees beside Hybern’s dead body, the head nearly severed from the neck. He sounded like he was trying to catch his breath, but he was so pale.

“Rhys?” Lucien sounded horrified. Rhys looked up and offered us one of his classic infuriating grins.

“Darling… fox.” He got to his feet and swayed.

Lucien ran to his side and I noticed it then… the blood spilling over the hand he had pressed to his stomach. The blood on his neck.

“I’ll go find Az,” I forced myself to say but Lucien shook his head.

“We have no idea where he is and-”

Rhys used his free hand to press something against Lucien’s chest.

“I didn’t want to be why you lost focus,” Rhys croaked out, falling against Lucien. “I love you… both of you.”

*

**Three Months Ago**

I’d lost interest in what Keir had been saying, though I was pretty sure I had stopped listening the second he opened his mouth. I leaned in to Rhys and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I’ll be upstairs,” I said to him and Rhys kissed me fervently before Lucien did the same. Cassian was standing outside of the room and escorted me upstairs.

“Everything okay?” Cas asked and I nodded, leaning into him as the elevator went up.

“I’m just tired.”

Ever since my sisters had left, I’d been unable to sleep. Yes, Cassian and Azriel kept tabs on them and Nesta had called a time or two, but it wasn’t enough. I did my best to be present, to be with Rhys at his meetings and meet with his business partners and get my hands as dirty as he did. But I still felt sad. So incredibly sad. Lucien never failed to remind me that it wasn’t my fault, that they made their choice and I was not responsible for what they did. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard to believe it, even if I knew logically, he was right.

Cassian threw himself on the couch when we made it to the penthouse and I went straight to the bedroom. I undressed and climbed into bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

*

“Wake up.”

I groaned and turned away. The blanket was pulled away and I opened my eyes.

“What?” I demanded and heard Rhys chuckle.

“Get up, we’re leaving.”

“I’m tired.”

“You can sleep on the way.”

I looked back at him and scowled, and noticed that Lucien was standing behind him, holding up a coat and a pair of boots. He at least looked apologetic.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere, darling, where your current state of dress is rather… unwise.” Rhys passed his hand over my bare thigh and grinned.

“This better be worth losing sleep over,” I said and accepted the warm clothes that Lucien handed me.

And it was.

Mor drove Rhys, Lucien and I out of the Hewn City and past Velaris, closer to the Illyrian Mountains. All of this was Rhysand’s, too. I made mental note of every single thing I wanted to paint and draw, even as the sun made its way down and the stars came into view. I’d never seen anything like this before.

There was a cabin at the top of the mountains, so far removed from civilization that I would have never thought to find something like this here. I would have never purposely gone off the main road regardless.

“I’ll be back in a few days,” Mor said. “Just to make sure you don’t die.”

Rhys laughed and put an arm around my shoulder.

“Let’s get a fire going,” he said, and kissed my cheek.

Inside was cozy. Lucien worked on the fire while Rhys showed me around the cabin. It was beautiful.

“This is my room,” Rhys said haughtily. “Az and Cassian usually take the other one.”

“What about Mor and Amren?”

Rhys cleared his throat and shrugged off his coat as we walked into the room.

“They got into a pretty bad argument…”

“Didn’t they nearly burn the cabin down?” Lucien asked as he walked in after us.

“What?” I looked at Rhys incredulously.

“No… I mean, yes, we had to fix it… but it needed to be renovated as it was.”

“They’re not allowed to stay here at the same time,” Lucien added and gave Rhys a wink.

After an excessively long bath, Lucien made us dinner and we ate sitting by the fire dressed in our pajamas. I found paint in a closet and they helped me set up on the dining table. The two talked quietly while I sketched, reminiscing on when they’d first begun to date. Their time at school. I wasn’t surprised that Rhys was the one who skipped class and was an absolute menace, especially when leading Cassian and Az around. 

“I think that was my saving grace with your father,” Lucien said with a smile.

“What, being a nerd?” Rhys teased.

“Yes! The last thing he wanted was his precious heir getting kicked out of school.”

I laughed and pinched Rhysand’s cheek.

“Don’t feel too bad,” I said. “I was an awful student.”

“I find it hard to believe that,” Rhys said.

“I had trouble reading and my parents really didn’t care to do much about it.”

The two became rather serious and I laughed nervously.

“After my mom died, I found myself a tutor. It was fine.”

“Were you close to your mother?” Lucien asked an I shook my head.

“I don’t remember much but… I don’t think she really liked me.”

I laughed again and shrugged.

“Dad is no better… I mean, he took whatever money Tamlin had given him and left.”

“My father is an outright cunt,” Lucien said so casually that Rhys and I laughed. “What? It’s true.”

“I agree,” I said and then looked at Rhys. “What was your dad like?”

Rhys shrugged.

“He protected his family… no matter the cost.”

Lucien reached over and caressed his cheek.

“He knew we were still together,” he said quietly and Rhys nodded.

“He was too proud to speak up against what he’d ordered in his anger towards Eris but… he just looked the other way so to speak.”

“And your mother?” I asked.

“She was too good for my dad and he knew it… But they had each other’s backs and she had the biggest heart. She would have adopted every single kid in Velaris without a family if she’d been able to.”

And like every night since my sisters left, I stood up. But so did Rhys. I didn’t question when he came to stand behind me, leaning on my chair while I painted. Some nights, we would talk for hours. Other nights, we remained silent, holding hands in the dark. He and Lucien took turns holding me when I cried, or holding back my hair when nightmares left me emptying my stomach at three in the morning. That night was different, though, and I wasn’t sure what kind of night it would be.

When I ran out of space on the table, I decided I was done painting for the night. Rhys quietly helped me clean up and I couldn’t help but smile whenever he looked at me.

“Thank you,” I said. “For bringing me here.”

“Of course, darling,” he said and leaned over to kiss me. “Nothing makes me happier than seeing you smile.”

I wasn’t sure why I blushed, but he noticed and grinned. Playfully, I pushed him and he poked my side.

“Don’t start,” I said to him and his grin turned wicked.

“I’ve not the slightest idea what you mean.”

He grabbed my wrist when I went to poke him back and laughed as he started tickling me. I used my free hand to tickle him back and his reaction had me cackling.

“You cruel, wicked thing,” he managed to say.

“Yeah?” I got on my tip toes and kissed him, waiting for him to let go of my wrist to then use both hands to get back at him before running off. Rhys caught me, but I wriggled out of his hold and turned around, walking backwards as he came towards me. I was grinning, even when I hit the table behind me. My hands were on a wet painting but I said nothing of it. Rhys came to stand right in front of me and placed a hand on either side of me. We were both out of breath from laughing so much and I had no intention of letting him best me again.

“I’ve got you now,” he said.

“I don’t think so.”

He raised a brow and I peel my hands away from the painting and wiped them both down his shirt. The shock on his face was priceless. He looked down and then at me, and I would have believed him to be offended had he not reached over and swiped paint off the still wet palette and smeared it on both sides of my face. So I did the only thing that crossed my mind in that moment.

I kissed him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I've been gone a while. A friend passed away and I just couldn't write. I wrote half of this like the same day he died and I couldn't touch it. I've missed being 'here' and writing. I was able to draw because he was an artist too and idk it felt right. so that's how i'm getting by, just doing what feels right and for today, that's this. 
> 
> I also want to say thank you to everyone whose been there for me through this, I am so so so grateful. truly you are all gems


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all have @feyres-painting-studio over on tumblr to thank for this thing ever getting completed. It’s been a really rough few weeks. I’ve been writing this between babysitting, being stuck at home without sleep. Doing schoolwork at home with a 6 year old. I am BURNT OUT. 
> 
> I struggled a lot trying to make these parts of canon make sense in a modern setting without magic. This was HARD lol like harder than I thought but I also am not at my best with all this shit going on. ANYWAY. I really am sorry y’all had to wait and I hope you find it worth it.

**Three Months Ago **

Rhys was quiet, his arms loosely wrapped around me. I pressed soft kisses to his temple as I ran my fingers through his hair. We were in the exact same position as he’d asked for at the last minute, the panic in his eyes something I would never forget, even if it was gone the moment I’d acquiesced and let him move us so that he was lying on his back. And when I’d wanted him closer, he’d sat up and held me tight.

We’d not spoken another word since and I was afraid of breaking the silence. I didn’t know what he needed, and I couldn’t even imagine the things that were running through his mind. I wondered if Lucien would know… if I should have asked him. But Lucien was in the other bedroom, somehow still asleep.

Rhys held me a little tighter suddenly, bringing me from my thoughts.

“Darling…” His voice was hoarse, and I was certain mine was, too.

“Hm?”

Rhys let out a sigh and shook his head.

“I’m afraid of ruining this,” he said to me.

“Nothing can ruin this for us, Rhys,” I said softly. “But if you aren’t ready, we can stay like this… at least until I feel like I can actually walk.”

That earned me a small laugh.

“I’ll carry you.”

I kissed his shoulder.

“I know you will… and I’ll carry you, too.” I blushed. “That sounded better in my head.”

Rhys chuckled and finally looked at me.

“I understood.”

I brought a hand to touch his cheek and gave him a smile.

“As long as you let me.”

Rhys leaned into my touch and closed his eyes. He kissed my palm before he looked at me once more.

“It’s not because I don’t want to,” he said quietly. “I’m just… is it terrible to say that I’m scared?”

“No. It isn’t.”

Rhys breathed in sharply.

“When you and Lucien… Um.” I sighed and Rhys started to smirk. “How did you feel after?”

Rhys shrugged.

“Like we’d never been apart for so many years… like I was free.”

“And now?”

“And now… I’m glad it’s you, Feyre.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I’d said something similar once to him, to Lucien.

“Before I met you, it was easier to pretend. I’d get out of there, somehow, and go back to Lucien. I’d be able to shove those memories so far down I could act like it never happened.

“But then I met you and I knew I was fucked. In the best way… But it meant sooner or later, I’d have to acknowledge what happened… Acknowledge that I wasn’t- that I’m not alright. And I want to be. For you, for Luce… for me, too, I guess.”

I brushed my thumb across his cheek.

“You’ve never pretended otherwise.”

He smirked.

“Lucien believes I’m deserving of an Oscar.”

I rolled my eyes but then I laughed.

“He’s said the same of me.”

Rhys wrapped his hand around my wrist, keeping my hand against his cheek.

“I was scared, Feyre… Even knowing you would never hurt me like that. I was scared I’d close my eyes and see her, feel her instead of you.”

My heart broke.

“Did you?” I asked so quietly, I was surprised he heard me.

“No,” he said with relief. There were tears in his eyes. “But, I don’t know if it’ll always be that way.”

“I know, Rhys… But I love you, you know that, right? And you won’t be doing this alone, I want to be with you every step of the way.”

Rhys closed his eyes and I leaned forward, kissing over the tears that ran down his face. When I pulled back, he kept me close, touching his forehead to mine.

“When you said you thought you could love me,” Rhys said softly, “I couldn’t believe it.”

“You thought it was an illusion…”

“And then it wasn’t… And it scared me. One more thing to lose. To have taken from me.”

“I won’t let anyone take me from you. Or Lucien.”

“I know,” he said as we looked at one another. “My perfect, darling Feyre.”

I giggled and threw my arms around his neck.

“You’re insufferable, Rhys.”

“Don’t I know it.” He kissed me, falling back on the bed so that I was lying on top of him. I laughed, my hair spilling over my shoulders. He reached up and tucked it behind my ears, smiling.

“I love you,” I said once more. “You don’t have to say it back- I can’t even imagine all that you’re feeling right now. But I need you to know Rhys, that I would go back there… for you. I’d always go back for you.”

*

I lay between Rhys and Lucien, all of me sore and aching. I was sure that not much time had passed since Lucien had found us in bed and joined us, as the room was still dark. But one of them- Rhys- had stolen the blanket, leaving Lucien and I utterly bare. Lucien woke up as I tried to maneuver out of their hold and chuckled.

“Fucking thief,” he muttered and disentangled himself, getting up to pull the comforter over us. With a huff he lay back down and pulled me against him, pressing a kiss to my forehead. Rhys shifted so that he was pressed up against me again.

“I heard that,” Rhys said. “I am _not_ a thief.”

“Do you two need another go?” I teased, making them laugh.

Rhys put his arm over my waist and kissed my shoulder.

“Only if he says sorry,” Rhys said with a yawn.

“I will do no such thing,” Lucien retorted.

“If you two won’t stop talking, I’m going to the other room.”

They didn’t speak after that.

Not until we’d woken up hours later and they were busy making me breakfast. Rather, Lucien was cooking and Rhys was standing beside him looking pretty. But Lucien was looking at Rhys with sleepy eyes, a soft smile on his face. It tugged on my heart strings, the way Lucien and Rhys loved one another. The way I loved them.

“See something you like, darling?” Rhys asked, bringing me from my thoughts. I realized I’d been staring.

“No,” I replied with a sigh. Rhysand’s eyes widened. “I see someone I love.”

“Only someone?” Lucien asked and Rhys laughed.

“Getting jealous, foxy boy?”

Lucien scoffed and I walked over and playfully hit Rhys on the arm.

“Stop it. I love you both.”

I stood behind Lucien and hugged him, giving Rhys a smirk. He grinned and joined me, squeezing me between him and Lucien.

“I love you,” Rhys said and at first I thought he was speaking to Lucien, but then I felt him prying me away from our boyfriend and holding me against him. He kissed my cheek and said it once more.

“Really?” I blurted out and he chuckled, turning me around to face him.

“I love you, Feyre darling.”

Rhys kissed me, and soon enough, the three of us were making our way back to the bedroom, breakfast forgotten.

*

Cassian had a smug smile on his face when we returned to Velaris, a smile that Rhys chose to ignore, only making Cassian’s smile grow.

“_Sooo_… how did it go?” Cassian asked in an almost sing song voice. Rhys made a disgusted sound and Lucien blushed, following Rhys to the bedroom. I walked over and gave Cas a hug and pinched his side.

“None of your business,” I replied and followed after them.

We’d barely made it out of the shower when my phone was ringing. I didn’t recognize the number but thinking of my sisters, I decided to answer.

It was my father.

Lucien and Rhys watched me warily as I answered.

“Dad?”

“Feyre?! Oh, thank god,” he cried. He sounded winded.

“What’s wrong? Are the girls okay?”

“Huh? Yes, they’re fine. But I need help… I-”

I heard laughter and the familiar sound of glasses clinking together.

“Are you drunk?”

My father laughed but then sniffled.

“No. I mean, yes, I am. But…” He stopped and he must have set his phone aside because it sounded like someone was speaking to him. I couldn’t understand a word they said. There were so many things I wanted to say, but then I remembered where I was. I was too far to do anything.

“Where are you dad?” Nothing. Glass broke. “Dad?”

I heard my father beg someone to leave him be. And then the call dropped.

“Darling, what is it?”

I stared at my phone. My thoughts were racing as fast as my heart. What the hell had happened?

“Feyre,” Lucien said and I blinked.

“Where’s Azriel?” I asked and both men looked at one another before taking me to him.

Az was in his office, the room dark save for the many screens. Confusion was plain on his face until he looked at me. I held out my phone to him and without a word, Az took a look. I hardly had to wait, and sure enough, I was staring at a map of the town I’d lived in before I’d ever met Tamlin. The bar that I had once worked at before everything went to shit.

“His phone is still there,” Az said. “I can’t promise that he will be.”

He looked at me expectantly and I let out a shaken breath. I looked at Rhys who gently touched my face.

“Whatever you want, darling. You lead, we follow.”

“Take me to him,” I said. “Please.”

My sisters didn’t answer their phones when I called, and I assumed they were asleep given the hour. I even tried Grayson, with Azriel’s help, but the bastard sent my call to voicemail.

After landing, Rhys drove Lucien and I (with Az, Mor and Cassian following) to the bar. Everything looked the same, as though time had never passed. Cassian and Az lead us into the bar and I followed close behind.

“Is that him?” Az asked, stopping to look my way. Then he looked ahead and nodded towards a table in the back. He was slumped in his chair, a bruise blossoming on his jaw. There were far too many glasses on the table in front of him. Some empty. Some full. Some halfway done. But I knew he could’ve done worse in the time it took to get here from Velaris.

“Goddammit,” I muttered and walked over, anger taking over the worry I’d felt. He looked up at me when I made it to his table and his eyes widened.

“No,” he breathed out. “What are you doing? You can’t be here!”

“You called me,” I said through gritted teeth. “You told me you needed help!”

Gun shots sounded and before I could even pull out my pistol, Cassian was crumbling to the floor. I screamed, falling to my knees beside him as the patrons ran out. As Tamlin walked in with his men. I put my hands over Cassian’s chest, pressing down. Az had his gun pointed at Tamlin’s head, even though he was wounded. Where the fuck had this gone wrong? How had we not seen- It was my fault.

“Go on, Mr. Archeron,” Tamlin said. “You did your part.”

I didn’t tear my eyes away from him, even as I addressed my father.

“You knew?” It was a stupid question to ask.

“Feyre, forgive me,” my father began but it was Lucien that cut him off.

“Go,” he warned. And just like that, my father scrambled to his feet, glasses spilling to the floor and shattering everywhere. When he ran out the front door, Tamlin chuckled.

“What is this?” I demanded. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m taking you home,” he replied. “I can’t even imagine what this monster’s done to you… to both of you.”

He looked behind me, no doubt at Lucien.

“I left because I wanted to,” I said.

“Don’t make this harder than this needs to be,” Tamlin continued, as if I hadn’t said a word.

“We gotta get Cas to a doctor,” Az said, clearly trying to hide how much pain he was in.

Rhys began to walk towards Tamlin, even with all the guns being pointed at him.

“Don’t be stupid, Moran,” Rhys said calmly.

“I’m not afraid of you,” Tamlin hissed.

“Clearly,” Rhys said, motioning at the men aiming their guns at him.

“I want my fiancé back. I want my best friend back.” Tamlin had the nerve to sound heartbroken.

“I am not your fiancé!” I yelled, screaming when Az was shot once more.

Lucien kept him from falling.

“I’ll go with you,” Lucien said, panicking. “Just leave them alone!”

“No!” Rhys and I said in unison.

“No one else has to get hurt,” Lucien reasoned. “Just let them go.”

“Feyre?” Tamlin looked at me.

“Tamlin, I told you, I-”

The front door opened and my sisters were pushed in, bound by the wrists. Hoods over their heads, so reminiscent of those I’d killed. My breath hitched. Nesta was drenched in blood.

“What are you doing?” I shouted. “What did you do to my sisters?”

“Nothing, yet,” Tamlin replied. I wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. He whistled and their hoods were roughly removed. They were wearing gags, their terrified gazes falling on me. On Cassian. “You know what needs to happen if you want to keep it that way.”

This was my fault. This was all my fault.

I looked down at Cassian, the bastard giving me the softest of smiles. I hadn’t realized I was crying until he reached up to brush them away. He knew, Cassian knew and understood. He would do the same thing for me. 

“I’m alright, Fey,” he said weakly. My heart broke. “Don’t worry about me.”

I looked at Az, the color draining from his face. This had to stop.

“Let them go,” I said to Tamlin, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I’ll do anything. Just… let them go.”

Mor took over, pressing down on Cassian’s bleeding wound. There was nothing but love and understanding in her brown eyes. As I rose to my feet, Rhys turned to face me, ignoring the guns aimed at him. I wished so bad we could speak mind to mind, that I could tell him I loved him. That I was going to find my way back to him.

When I made it to Rhys, he took me by the wrist. He leaned in, bringing his mouth to my ear.

“Tell him I threatened you,” he said. “I’m going to get you out.”

I nodded.

“I love you, Feyre, darling.”

And then he faced Tamlin once more, holding me against him. He didn’t have to hold a knife to my neck or a gun to my head for the color to drain from Tamlin’s already pale face. 

“The sisters. Set them free,” Rhys demanded.

Tamlin wasted no time in making Lucien cut their binds, making him remove their gags, even as his hands trembled. As if to prove his loyalty. It could only get worse from here.

When my sisters hurried to Rhysand’s side, Rhys tightened his hold on me.

“Let her go,” Tamlin barked. “Or your brothers die.”

“It’s okay, Rhys,” I said. “It’s okay, take care of them.”

He let me go and I made my way to Tamlin who pulled me into his arms.

“I’ve missed you, baby,” he whispered and kissed my cheek. I wanted to gag. Then he kept an arm around my shoulders and began to lead me out. My sisters were crying. I was crying. Lucien’s hand brushed mine as he caught up with us and I dared a look at him.

We would get out of this. Together.

Tamlin would regret this day, I’d make sure of it.

**The Present **

I woke up with a groan, feeling something pulling on my arm. There was a needle in my arm. What the fuck-

“Feyre?”

I gasped, my arm hurting when I brought my hand to my chest. But it was only Cassian. Cassian had dark shadows under his eyes and his hair was a tousled mess.

“Cas?” My voice was rough and I realized I was thirsty. I realized Lucien and Rhys weren’t here, either. My heart raced. “Where is Rhys? Where is Lucien?”

Cassian raised both hands.

“Whoa, slow down, Fey. Lucien is alright, he’s with Rhys.”

I sat upright, ignoring the way my body protested the movement.

“Take me to him. Now.”

Cassian hesitated.

“What’s wrong with Rhys?”

Then it all came back to me. Rhys, kneeling over Hybern’s body. How he struggled to walk, the way Lucien had to hold him up. The blood loss-

“Cassian. What’s wrong with Rhys?”

Cassian let out a sigh and rose to his feet. He walked around the bed and pushed over a wheelchair. I wanted to protest but the look on his face, it was enough to keep me quiet. With all the tenderness I’d come to know and love, Cassian took me off the IV drip and when the little alarm went off to alert the nurses, he shut it off. He scooped me up in his arms, making sure I was covered properly. He looked at the chair and shook his head, carrying me out.

I rested my head against his chest, Cassian pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“You passed out,” he said quietly. The nurses we walked past ignored us. He said nothing more and I closed my eyes, listening to his heart beat.

Lucien was sitting outside of a room, leaning over with his face in his hands. Mor was rubbing his back.

“Luce?” My voice was so quiet I was surprised he heard me. When he looked up, his eyes were red and glassy. He’d showered and was wearing clean clothes, no sign of the day we’d had.

Cassian kissed my cheek and carefully set me down, holding my hand as I walked to Lucien. He got to his feet and threw his arms around me and began to weep.

“Go check on Az,” Cassian said to Mor who gave Lucien and I an apologetic look before walking away.

“Lucien, what’s happened?”

He shook his head and I forced myself out of his hold. I looked at Cassian who held his hand out to me again.

“Feyre, wait,” Lucien called but I kept on going.

I wish I’d listened.

The nurse who let me in the room held the door open as I stood in the doorway, Cassian right beside me.

“He’s been in recovery for a few hours now,” she said softly. Cassian said something to her but I didn’t hear it. Rhys was unconscious, lying on a hospital bed with a mask on his face. I couldn’t even grasp all that he was hooked up to, the wires and beeping sounds too much. It was too much.

“I was asleep. Through all of this.”

Lucien had sat through this without me. Tears burned my eyes.

“Tell me,” I said and Cassian took my hand again.

“Turns out Thesan was there with his men, at the estate. He managed to stabilize Rhys before he bled out,” he said. “Royce didn’t hit anything vital, but it was enough that they needed to rush him into surgery once we got here.”

Cassian stopped and held my hand a little tighter.

Lucien came to my room while I ate dinner and seemed surprised to see Cassian sitting beside me.

“He’s breathing on his own,” Lucien said and looked at Cassian who pinched my cheek before leaving us alone. Lucien watched him before letting out a long sigh. “He hasn’t left your side. Not once since you were brought here.”

That made me want to cry.

Lucien shoved a hand into his pocket and sat down next to me. He set something down on the little table.

“What is that?”

“Rhysand’s ear piece… He… Rhys was the one who interfered with our signal. He shut us out.”

“What?”

“He knew, Feyre… Rhys knew this was going to end badly and he still went through with it.”

“I don’t understand… Why would Rhys do that?”

Lucien laughed but it was all nerves, no mirth to be had.

“I don’t know… He’s the most dramatic pain in my ass but I have no idea why he would shut us out.”

I felt like there was an invisible hand on my throat.

“Was he hurt? Before you found Tamlin?”

Lucien was silent.

“I don’t know.”

If Tamlin had hurt him before he was able to run after Hybern…

“I swear, when he wakes up, I’m going to strangle him,” Lucien said and I leaned into him.

“Is it over, Luce?”

I felt him still before he put his arm around me.

“It is… It finally is.”

When I started to cry, Lucien wrapped both arms around me.

*

“We’re cleaning it up,” Amren said, looking at my hospital dinner with disgust. She gave a sniff and made a face. “We can discuss the particulars once we are all together once more. Lucien will be filling in for Aurelie and Helion- I take it you three have spoken?”

Amren smiled at Lucien.

“I’ll be making deals on their behalf,” he said reluctantly. “And discussing any other decisions for them until further notice.”

“Is she having trouble?” I asked but Lucien shook his head.

“She’s having far too much fun undoing everything Beron created.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

I was surprised when Thesan walked into my room and everyone stepped aside to allow him to pass. He was dressed in scrubs and looked in dire need of caffeine.

“How are we feeling?” he asked me and it took me a moment to realize he was serious. He was a doctor. Our doctor.

“Fine,” I squeaked, earning a snort from Cas. Az rolled his eyes from the wheelchair he was sitting on.

“You are a far better patient than your fiancé,” he said as he held a thermometer out. While that checked my temperature, he checked my blood pressure. “It took him five minutes to get around to telling me that.”

“He’s awake?” Lucien asked.

“Hold on,” Thesan replied. “It’ll throw her pressure off.”

My vitals were perfectly fine.

“Ms. Archeron, I have one more thing I’d like to check,” Thesan said with a smile. “Indulge me in a walk?”

Thesan walked me to Rhysand’s room, answering questions from the nurses that approached us. Signing off on things without stopping. Not for a second. Cassian and the others followed close behind, with Lucien pushing Azriel’s wheelchair to keep him from strangling Cassian.

“He’s a tad more delicate than he will let on,” Thesan said to me quietly. “Recovery will be the hardest part… But with that attitude of his, I’m certain he’ll be just fine.”

There were tears in my eyes when I thanked him. Thesan actually blushed.

“Here you are,” he said. “I have to sign off on Tarquin’s discharge papers. I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

Lucien and I walked into Rhysand’s room. The lights were dim and the television was on a soap opera. The others stood outside in the hall, content to wait.

He opened his eyes when we neared the bed, and the way he smiled made me cry.

“Feyre, darling,” he said weakly. “Luce.”

I put my hand over his as Lucien slid an arm around me.

“I think I’m high,” he said with a slight grin. “Maybe.”

“I’d imagine so,” I said and wiped my eyes with my free hand.

“I have the feeling I won’t like it when it wears off…” Rhysand’s eyes began to close.

“No, you won’t,” Lucien said and Rhys opened his eyes. “But you’ll be alright.”

“I know you’re angry,” Rhys whispered softly. “I deserve it.”

“Stop it,” Lucien said.

Rhys winced and closed his eyes.

“Just… I think I need a nap. Then you can argue with me all you like,” he said with a sigh. “And I know how much you love to argue…”

“You’re a prick,” Lucien said.

“Hm… I know. But you love me.”

“With all my heart.”

“Feyre, darling, why are you quiet?”

“You should sleep,” I replied. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”

“I hope so… Perhaps you could give me my bath… as pretty as Thesan’s nurses are…”

Lucien laughed. “Shut up, Rhys.”

Rhys smiled.

“I’ll be here for your sponge bath,” I said, holding his hand a little tighter. “I love you.”

“I love you both,” he slurred and his smile softened as he succumbed to sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reread the entire thing I'm trying to clear up loose ends before continuing on lol i've missed you guys hope you've all been well!!!

The Present

“I will dump this over your head if you don’t stop complaining,” Lucien hissed and I bit down the urge to laugh.

Thesan had been absolutely right. The recovery was the worst part of all of this. When the meds kicked in, Rhys was a slightly more exuberant version of his normal, flirtatious and irritating self. But when they wore off?

“You’re being an asshole,” Lucien continued.

“The water is cold!” Rhys complained and I sighed.

“Luce, I think breakfast should be ready. Could you bring it up to our room?” I asked and he glared at Rhys one more time before tossing the wash rag in the bowl of water.

“Yes, of course, my love.”

He kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes, smiling.

“Thank you.”

He left the room without another word. I found Rhys looking rather apologetic. I dipped my fingers into the bowl of water; it was lukewarm, which was worse, in my opinion. So I got up and grabbed Rhys’s robe and draped it around his shoulders.

“I’ll be right back,” I said softly and went to change the water. I filled up two bowls with very hot water, one for the soap and one to rinse him off with, knowing that by the time I finished, their temperatures would be more palatable.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Rhys said as I scrubbed him down.

“I wasn’t going to bathe you with piss warm water. That’s gross.”

He chuckled. “All the same.”

“Are we washing your hair?”

“No, it can wait.”

I rolled my eyes. “You say that as if I mind.”

He shrugged, but I noticed how uncomfortable that made him. So I made quick work of bathing him. When Lucien finally came back with breakfast, Rhys was dressed in briefs and his bed robe, his hair was combed and I was massaging lotion into his hands.

“You spoil him,” Lucien said with a sigh.

“One of us has to,” I teased, making him smile.

“Well, now I feel like an ass.”

“Don’t,” I said to Lucien as he set the tray down on the dresser. “I’m just used to it. That’s all.”

“Darling…”

I looked at Rhys and he was quickly silenced.

“Don’t insult me by suggesting we bring a nurse here.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

After Lucien helped me put everything away, I washed up before going to join them in bed for breakfast. Lucien already had Rhys’s medicine set out for him to take.

“I appreciate that you both come to my defense when it comes to my parents,” I said as I grabbed my plate. “I had no choice in taking care of them, but I’m not fourteen anymore. Taking care of you is a choice that I make.”

Rhys considered me for a moment before rubbing at his eyes. He gave me a smile.

“I love you, darling.”

“I love you, too.”

Lucien and Rhys bickered while they ate, the two smiling at one another all the while. When we finished, Rhys took his medicine, and Lucien and I remained in bed with him and his terrible jokes and cringe worthy pick-up lines until he fell asleep.

“Tell your mother I said hi,” I whispered as Lucien carefully slipped out of bed.

He smiled. “I will… I’ll be back in about an hour.”

I blew him a kiss and he acted as though he caught it and brought his hand to his heart. I couldn’t help but laugh. I knew that I could leave Rhys alone to sleep, but the last time I left him alone, he had woken up and puked everywhere. I’d found him lying on his side with tears in his eyes, shivering. So now, Lucien and I took turns staying with him if we had business to attend to. Which was often. I was beginning to understand why Rhys liked to hide from Amren most days. It was draining.

And no matter how hard I tried, when I saw Rhysand’s wounds, I saw Cassian bleeding in my arms. Azriel getting shot. My mistakes had nearly cost their lives all those months ago and Rhys… I couldn’t help but think that if I hadn’t set my sights on Ianthe, if I would have just waited-

“I know what you’re doing,” Lucien said as he stepped into the room. I looked away from Rhysand’s sleeping form and raised a brow.

“I’m lying in bed with our fiancé…”

He closed the door. “Rhys may be too high to catch on, but I’m not.”

I scowled.

“Nothing that we do changes the fact that Rhys was hurt,” Lucien continued as he went to lean against the dresser. “And there was nothing either of us could have done to stop the bastard from running off on his own.”

“You don’t know that!” I blurted out and felt my face go hot. I looked away and did my hardest to fight the tears that were welling up in my eyes.

“Feyre…”

I shook my head. I knew that he was right, but it was so hard not to blame myself for not being there for either of them when they needed me. I heard him walk towards me and felt the bed dip under his weight as he sat down next to me. He put his hand over mine.

“When I saw her… what was left of her… I cried, you know. I can’t tell you how many years I wished I was able to defend myself against her, and to know that she’s gone is a relief that I can’t put to words.”

“Lucien…”

“What was it you said to Rhys the night he proposed?” Lucien asked and I knew he was smiling. “Ah, yes. ‘If you murder the right person, I’d be all over you.’”

I snorted and finally looked at him. He used his free hand to caress my cheek.

“I love you, Feyre,” he said.

“I love you, too.”

He kissed me before pulling me into his arms.

“I admit that I’ve not been successful at pretending that I’m not upset,” Lucien continued. “But that doesn’t mean I’m leaving you alone in any of this.”

“It’s alright, Luce. I don’t mind.”

“Well, I mind.”

I sighed, earning another kiss from Lucien. Taking me by surprise, Lucien brought an arm under my legs and rose to his feet, taking me with him. He carried me to the bathroom and set me down at the edge of the tub. I watched him as he set the water going and went to the closet. He tossed a bath bomb in the water before coming to my side to ‘help me’ undress.

“What are you up to?” I asked and Lucien smirked.

“Helping my fiancé relax,” he replied as though that were the most obvious answer.

He helped me into the tub and kissed me again.

“Want me to bring you anything?” he asked me and I shook my head.

“This is fine. Thank you, Luce.”

“I’ll be back to check on you in a bit.”

I gave him a nod and he winked before leaving the bathroom, closing the door after him.

After my bath and Lucien’s ‘check in’, I was in dire need of a shower. And a nap. But I took my time in the shower, and when I stepped out, Lucien had left me my towels folded on the counter.

“Do not apologize to me,” Lucien said sternly, and I paused by the door, listening.

“But I am sorry.”

“Tell that to Feyre,” Lucien continued on. “She’s the one blaming herself for all of this.”

“But it isn’t her fault-”

“No, it isn’t! But here we are.”

“Luce…”

I took a deep breath and let it out before opening the door and walking into our bedroom. Both men looked my way and I gave them a smile.

“You’re awake,” I said to Rhys and made my way towards them. I gave Lucien a quick kiss before leaning down to kiss Rhys. “Sleep well?”

“Yes,” he replied, eyeing me as I walked off.

I could see Lucien through the mirror as I grabbed my underwear from the dresser. He put a hand on Rhysand’s shoulder and let out a sigh.

“Cassian will be here for your walk,” Lucien told him. “I’ll get everything ready.”

Rhys tried to get him to stay but Lucien wasn’t having it. Our fiancé left the room and Rhys let out a long sigh.

“Do you feel up for your walk?” I asked as I got dressed. “I can tell Cassian to leave it for tomorrow.”

“No… I’m up for it. My ass is sore.”

I snorted.

“Darling?”

“Yes?”

I looked back at him and found him patting the space beside him. I couldn’t believe that I felt nervous. I pulled my shirt on and made my way to him. He held out his hand when I was close enough and despite the fact that I knew this was a conversation we had avoided since he’d come home from the hospital, it was a relief to have him holding my hand.

“There is… There is something I need to tell you,” he began and my stomach twisted.

“Okay.”

“I need you to know that you are not to blame for anything that happened that day.” When I made to speak, he gave me a look and I simply sighed. “I chose to go after Hybern. I chose to shut you out.”

“But why?” I asked quietly. My cheeks felt warm and it was hard to meet his gaze.

“I was hurt,” he replied simply.

“How did shutting us out help you?”

“It didn’t. But the thought of you losing your focus and getting hurt because of me… I just couldn’t.”

“You kissed me goodbye.”

“What?”

“Before everything. You kissed me goodbye. Did you not think our plan would work? Or are you still so hell bent on sacrificing yourself for us that you wouldn’t give yourself a chance?”

Rhys looked like a scolded child.

“You can’t just ask me to marry you and then go try and get yourself killed.”

“I swear, Feyre, that wasn’t my intention.”

“Then why? Why, Rhys?” Tears blurred my vision. “You can’t do this to me, to Lucien!”

“Darling, darling… I swear I won’t do anything like that again.”

I couldn’t stop crying, especially when Rhys forced himself to sit closer to me. He brought his hands to either side of my face and kissed my tears.

“I wasn’t kissing you goodbye,” he said and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I just wanted to be sure that if things went wrong…” Rhys sighed and shook his head. “It’s stupid now. And I am so sorry, Feyre. I will do anything to prove it to you.”

The bedroom door opened and we turned to find Cassian storming in, completely oblivious.

“Ready for your walk?” he beamed and Rhys closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and that’s when Cassian noticed, immediately coming to my side. “Shit! Feyre, what’s wrong?”

I laughed and shook my head.

“Nothing.”

“What did you do?” Cassian asked Rhys and the tone of his voice had me getting to my feet.

“We talked it over,” I said, placing my hands on Cassian’s chest and gently pushing him back. “It’s fine.”

Cassian looked me over before looking behind me at Rhys. He glared at him before grinning like a fiend.

“If you open his stitches, Cassian, I’ll give you matching scars,” I threatened and when Rhys laughed at Cassian, I turned and glared at him.

After Cassian and Rhys left the room, Lucien and I walked towards the library and out to the balcony where Cassian and Rhys would meet us after his walk around the second floor of the house. It was a lovely day, and I knew the sunset from up here would be even better.

Lucien wrapped his arm around me when we went to lean against the railing, looking over at the city. He brushed his fingers over my ribs, still slightly bruised from our fight with Tamlin.

“Did he apologize?” Lucien asked.

“He did.”

“Did you accept it?”

“Not with words… But yeah.”

Lucien sighed. “He’s an ass.”

“I get it, though. I do.”

“Doesn’t make it better.”

“I know… But, thank you, Luce… you really didn’t have to do that.”

“Do what?”

I looked up at him and raised a brow.

“You two aren’t exactly quiet.”

He sighed.

“I can’t stand to see you like that, Feyre. It isn’t right. And, it is his fault.”

“I can’t be mad at him.”

He chuckled and leaned down to kiss me.

“I’ll never understand what he and I did to deserve you, my love.”

“Are you still mad at him?”

Lucien considered me for a moment before smiling.

“No… I’m still hurting but you know Rhys loves to argue.”

“You mean _you_ like to argue. I swear that’s what gets you off.”

Lucien laughed.

“I’ve got nothing to dispute that.”

*

**Three Months Ago**

My head hurt. My heart hurt.

I replayed that night so many times, and yet, I couldn’t find a way that didn’t end the same way. I’d grown tired of blaming myself for falling for my father’s bullshit- he betrayed me. He betrayed Nesta and Elain, and for what? My father could be given all the riches of the world, and I knew he would gamble it away. He’d drink it down. It would never be enough.

But Cassian, Az… They were hurt because of me. I couldn’t allow myself to imagine the other possibility because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

A knock came to my bedroom door and I kept my gaze on the ceiling.

“Feyre,” Tamlin called and I closed my eyes. “Dinner is ready.”

I said nothing.

“I know you’re awake, and you missed lunch.”

I rolled onto my side and put a pillow over my head. He knocked again.

“You can’t stay in there forever!” he shouted, but then sighed. “You have to eat, babe. Please.”

“I’m not hungry,” I croaked and I flinched when he hit the door.

“Fucking starve then,” he practically growled and stormed off.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed before Tamlin came to my bedroom. This time, he didn’t knock. He had a key and let himself in. I stared him down from where I’d moved on the bed.

“This has to stop.”

“What? I’m not hungry.”

“You’re ignoring me.”

“I’m in your house. What more do you want from me?”

“Do you know all I’ve done to get you back?”

“I never asked you to.”

I sat up straight when he approached the bed. I’d gauge his eyes out of he touched me-

“I don’t know what they did to you, Feyre, but I’m not your enemy.”

“You hurt my sisters.” My voice came out like a whisper.

Tamlin sat down and I had to fight the urge to crawl inside of myself.

“And I’m sorry… I just didn’t think anything else would get to you.”

“They didn’t hurt me, Tamlin.”

He scoffed. “So, what, you care about them? You don’t know anything about Cassian and Azriel.”

I wanted to scream, so instead, I forced myself to be what Tamlin needed me to be. I sighed and looked away, tugging on my sleeves.

“They were nice to me,” I said quietly. “I guess they wanted me to trust them, so that I’d tell them about you.”

Tamlin shifted closer to me.

“Like what?”

I shrugged, not flinching when he set his hand over my thigh.

“Just… stupid stuff at first. Like, where you took me out on dates. Or the gallery.”

“What did you tell them?”

“I lied about where we went out together but they believed me… And I told them I stopped working at the gallery because of Rhysand.”

Tamlin began to brush his thumb across my thigh, back and forth. If he moved his hand any higher, I was going to stab him.

“You know… I know some people in the Hewn City. They’d tell me about Rhysand bringing you down there. Showing you off and making you do things.”

“I hated it there,” I lied. “But… I swear Tamlin, I don’t know what I did. I don’t remember.”

The look on my face must have been convincing, because Tamlin looked so mortified, so pained.

“I don’t hold it against you, babe.”

“Really?”

He smiled so softly, it was easy to see how I could have felt anything for him once. The hand he had on my thigh slid away before he grabbed my hand.

“Come eat.”

I hesitated.

“We can stay up here,” he said. “What do you think?”

I nodded. “Okay.”

He kissed my hand.

“I’ll be right back.”

My traitor stomach growled when Tamlin came back with food. I fed him more bullshit stories while I ate, keeping my lies as close to the truth as possible so that he believed them.

Another knock on the door gave us pause and Lucien stepped in, looking for all the world like he’d seen a ghost.

“I need you downstairs, both of you,” he said and we both looked at Tamlin who looked ready to say no. Instead, he got to his feet and held his hand out to me.

Downstairs, Bronn and Hart were standing on either side of a very frightened Alis. She was clutching a leather bag, hands shivering.

“Alis?” Tamlin rushed the last few steps. “I thought… I thought you were dead.”

She shook her head.

“They let me go,” she breathed out and looked my way. “They let me go.”

“Why come back here?” Lucien asked and I looked at him, surprised. It seemed Rhys and I weren’t the only actors in this trio of ours.

“This is where they left me,” she replied and looked at Tamlin again. “I didn’t think I’d ever see any of you again.”

“Where did they go?” Tamlin asked her. Alis reached into her pocket and as Bronn and Hart went for their guns, she pulled out a black blindfold.

“They made me wear this until I was let inside.”

Tamlin looked at his guards for confirmation and they both nodded, looking ashamed for reaching for their weapons. I closed the space between us and hugged Alis tight. I looked back at Tamlin.

“Can I bring her to her room?” I asked. “I… I know how she feels.”

I let Tamlin mull that over, knowing his need to be in control and need to get any upper hand on Rhys was too great to send Alis away now.

“Go ahead,” he said at long last before barking orders at the others. “Lucien, come with me. We’ve got work to do.”

In her room, before I even had a chance to sleep, Alis pulled off the bag and shoved it in my arms.

“The moment I heard what happened, I asked Rhys what I could do to help,” she said. “So, here I am.”

“You… you came back?”

She shrugged as if it were nothing and laughed when I hugged her.

“Open the bag,” she demanded. “Your boyfriend really wanted you to have it.”

Inside the bag were clothes Rhys, Lucien and Mor had given me. A pair of boots from Cassian. And a letter… from Azriel. My heart soared in my chest as I opened it. _I want this back, _it read, _else you’re never getting your leather jacket back- even if it was mine. _I laughed, tears stinging my eyes as I brushed my fingers over his name.

“They’re alright,” she said softly. “Weak and healing, but alright.”

And that was more than I could ask for.


End file.
